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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30148851">Seven</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Origins7210/pseuds/Origins7210'>Origins7210</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen, Welcome to Sanditon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:00:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>38,227</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30148851</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Origins7210/pseuds/Origins7210</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>An unexpected seat change brings Sidney and Charlotte together on a flight, and find they are irresistibly drawn to one another, though something rather significant seems to stand in their way. Modern alt setting, slow burn, with some angst. A little inspired by Normal People, a little inspired by When Harry Met Sally. There will be a HEA for sure.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Charlotte Heywood &amp; Sidney Parker, Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>867</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>444</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello fab friends from the Sanditon Squad! I've been working on this story in between chapters of Switch. This is a very different Sidlotte and definitely a different exercise in style for me. Thank you so much for reading and hope we get good news about S2 soon! xoxox</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Charlotte turned up the volume on her headphones to drown out the complaints of the man in front of her, but unfortunately, there was no escaping him. Apparently, an issue of urgent consumer rights was at stake, and for the last ten minutes, the swollen arrogant man berated the boarding agent and held up the entire queue of passengers waiting to get on their flight. Something about his status as a platinum club member and a mix-up in seating arrangements. He reeked of stale cigar smoke, whiskey and fast food. </p><p>Rolling her eyes at no one in particular, she took her book out and resumed reading. All she wanted was to get to her seat, change out of her boots into her flight socks and finish her story or, preferably, sleep all the way to London. The flight was a long one - well over seven hours - and she had already spent two hours getting to JFK, getting through security and waiting to board. Now this wanker was all that stood between her and a huge nap. This could take a while.</p><p> </p><p>“I am Dick Howard, I have been flying British Airways for 10 years, and I am an executive club member! I fly New York to London twice a month. <em>I </em>recognize <em>you</em>, Miss Beaufort, don't <em>you</em> recognize <em>me</em>?!"</p><p>The boarding agent looked like she might gag. Charlotte gave her a sympathetic look and stifled a laugh. Miss Beaufort's eyes indicated she knew exactly what Charlotte was thinking. </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Finally, after airline employees calmed the man down with promises of finding him a new seat, the line started moving again, and Charlotte scowled at the notion of such an unpleasant man being rewarded for such obnoxious behavior. With her luck, he was probably her seat mate.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>They finally boarded the plane, and as they passed the calm and relaxed passengers in first class who were clearly oblivious to Mr. Howard’s dire situation, Charlotte looked enviously at the cabin’s appointments. Wide leather chairs, cocktails in actual cocktail glasses, smiling flight attendants, and wow… </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Check out the tan, cute guy in 3B. He looked up just as she noticed him and in that moment when their eyes met, she had mentally planned their wedding, their lives, their children’s names… </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Excuse me.” The lady behind her nudged. Charlotte was holding up the line. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tan guy gave her a smirk and returned to his phone.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Lucky bastard. He would get six hours in isolated bliss. And there wasn’t even a passenger in the seat next to him. Meanwhile, she trudged back to her seat in 39A amidst the huddled masses.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Oh good. Dick Howard was in 39B.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Having mentally prepared for that reality, she cursed herself for being right. He got up to let her in - why did she pick a window seat! - and Charlotte fell into her spot, wondering if she could force herself to sleep through the next hours of discomfort.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“God damn piece of cheapass garbage…” Howard muttered to himself. She wasn’t too familiar with regional American accents, but he must have hailed from the state of entitlement. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>A flight attendant approached.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh, thank god, you’re here. I’m going to need a beer, and some peanuts ASAP.” Howard barely even looked at the woman, whose well-practiced smile was beginning to flag. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well? Chop chop!” God, he was vile. Charlotte winced and looked apologetically at the flight attendant, who got a sudden look of inspiration. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Miss Heywood?” the woman said impishly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Puzzled, she looked up. “Yes?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Will you please come with me? And you’ll need to bring your bag.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Mr Howard was not pleased about having to get up again, having just shoehorned himself into his seat, but he let her out, and once they were out of range, the attendant leaned in to speak softly to her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We are relocating you. I hope you don’t mind. Mr. Howard is making such a scene that we thought it would be best to let him have the two seats.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Uh… ok. Am I being put on another flight?” she asked, warily.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh no! There’s an opening in first class. You’ve been incredibly patient and good humored, so we’re moving you to a more comfortable set-up.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Hell yeah. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She hadn’t been on that many trans-Atlantic flights (In fact, she’d only been on one - the outbound part of her trip a few days ago), but it had been cramped enough that she knew she’d greatly appreciate the extra space. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She followed the attendant, feeling like she won the lottery, and as they walked through the curtain separating the cabins - wait, was that the smell of freshly baked cookies? - Charlotte realized she was getting the seat next to hot tan guy. She felt a mild panic.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you for your flexibility, Miss Heywood,” the attendant said. “Can I get you a drink?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Erm… sure, coffee?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Espresso? Latte? Americano?” the woman asked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her seat mate looked in her direction, his dark eyes again catching hers. Flustered, she replied “Surprise me.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He smiled to himself.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Bit late for coffee, no?” he asked her, after the woman disappeared into the galley. His voice was deep and soothing, like the voiceover in a car commercial.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hm? Oh, I can’t help myself. I love coffee,” she smiled shyly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But since this is a red eye, you won’t be able to sleep during the flight now, will you?” He cocked his head to one side and gave a bemused smile.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Caffeine doesn’t usually stop me from sleeping, if I’m tired enough.” She returned his cheeky expression, and snuck in a glance at the rest of him. Not a business traveler. Looked like was returning from holiday. Probably not much older than herself. She caught a glimpse of his laptop bag, which bore a tag - London School of Economics. A student, just like herself.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The attendant returned with her espresso, and Charlotte settled into her seat, completely delighted to have escaped the misery of Mr. Howard.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Are you coming or going?” the man asked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She looked up, a bit confused and then realized what he meant. “Oh, I’m headed home. You?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I am too.” For a brief moment, the intenseness of his gaze made her blink quickly and look away, hoping she wasn’t actually blushing.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She was, and it was cute.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m Sidney,” he leaned in.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Charlotte.” His smile was impossible to resist, and she smiled back, embarrassed. “You look like you just came back from vacation.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m coming back from Antigua. I was just at a friend’s wedding.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh, wow, that’s a long way to go for a wedding.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She was a close family friend. I couldn’t miss it.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It wasn’t like Sidney to talk to his seat mate on a flight, but most of the flights he’d been on had been with family or friends. On the flight to Antigua, Eliza sat next to him and had worn an eye mask and headphones, and only spoke to him once they were starting the approach to Antigua. Even so, he did not mind her lack of interaction, and was quite comfortable keeping to himself.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>As it turned out, this was par for the course for their relationship. She had her world, and he had his. Unfortunately, Eliza didn’t care too much for his world. She left the night of Georgiana’s wedding, before dinner was even complete, insisting on getting back to London well ahead of work on Monday. She wanted him to go back with her, but his plan was to to spend the rest of the week with his family who had also flown out for the wedding, and were turning it into a protracted reunion. He had no intention of missing out on what was the first Parker family vacation in years.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Being with the rest of the Parker siblings was fine, but they were a lot of work to be around, and in no way relaxing. Tom could be argumentative and enjoyed picking political fights, though fortunately, he and his fiancée Mary, kept to themselves. Diana was sweet, but constantly reminded everyone of her status as a gluten-free, vegan. And Arthur was fun, but often irresponsible. He had lost his phone not once, but twice during the trip. The Parker parents in contrast were so caught up in reuniting with their old friends the Lambes (Georgiana's parents) that Sidney often found himself shepherding them from place to place as well. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>By the time Sidney left Antigua, he was exhausted and wanted a vacation from his vacation. He was starting to feel like he must be insane by proxy.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was no better during the brief time that Eliza was there. He was never able to put a finger on what she did, but he always felt inadequate somehow around her. Eliza was only there for two and half days and she grumbled the entire time. About the heat. The sun. The food. The hotel. Georgiana’s wedding décor. But mostly she complained how humiliating it was that Georgiana - who had just turned 20 - was getting married before her and Sidney. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>At the age of 24, both Sidney and Eliza weren’t exactly old, but most of their friends had married immediately after university. Sidney was still completing his master’s in economics and philosophy at the London School of Economics, and working part-time with Tom and his father at the Sanditon real estate development, their family business, on weekends. Eliza left university early to become a commercial model, but in the past year, she quit modeling and was working full time at her family’s financial firm. Even though she was not in fund management, she certainly had the taste and lifestyle of the clients to whom the business catered. In contrast, Sidney’s student life consistently underwhelmed her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And she did not keep her opinions unknown. Even on this short trip, she insisted on first class travel, and paid for the seats herself. She also insisted on a suite at the hotel, even though it was just for the two of them. When he protested that the expense was excessive, she only responded, “I can’t live in a way that makes me feel bad about myself. I’ll just take care of it so we can be comfortable. Please don’t worry about the expense.” And he had no real response since he couldn’t offer to cover the cost himself.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
  <p>Now on the plane, he was alone - free of Eliza, free of his family, free of the constraints of expectations. No one knew he was a grad student, no one cared his family was bonkers. He didn’t have to be a boyfriend, or a sensible brother, and it was liberating. He was positively chatty.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So what brought you to New York?” he asked Charlotte.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I had interviews,” she answered, suddenly shy. The program she was going to join was extremely prestigious. That she was in the running for the scholarship made her a bit embarrassed at her own accomplishment.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh, what type of job are you interviewing for?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It had not occurred to her that most people would assume she was interviewing for a job. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Actually, it’s for a semester scholarship at Columbia University.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He raised his eyebrows.</p>
  <p>“Wow, impressive.” She must be a graduate student like himself, Sidney surmised. “And may I ask what you are studying?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Public policy and philosophy,” she answered, again self-conscious at revealing her academic identity to a man who looked more like an actor than a student. She hoped he wouldn’t ask her about how the two fields were connected as she knew most people don't have the capacity or interest to speak about philosophy.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Really?” he said with shock. “I’m in economics and philosophy! I rarely ever meet anyone who studies philosophy let alone a double concentration with another field!”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s a major at LSE? I’m surprised,” Charlotte answered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He smirked. “How did you know I’m at LSE?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte again blushed. She wondered if she was going to be red in the face for the entire flight. “Um...I saw your bag,” she admitted.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He laughed, and realizing he was flirting pretty heavily, he looked away. He probably shouldn’t be behaving this way, given that he was in a relationship, but nothing was going to happen here. He concluded a conversation on a plane was pretty harmless. No one needed to know he was flirting with a stranger. And he was sure Charlotte would soon forget him after they arrived in London.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>They got to talking about their programs and studies, but soon it quickly diverted to Sidney’s family and the assorted adventures he had just experienced in Antigua - scuba diving, ziplining, sailing. Charlotte was jealous and enthralled in the stories of such experiences. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>In truth, they weren’t as fun as he had hoped. Only Georgiana and her now husband Otis went scuba diving with him, as they were the only certified divers among the group. Sidney had convinced Tom and Mary to join him in the ziplining, but they chickened out at the last minute, so he’d gone alone. Eliza refused to leave the resort at all, and insisted on staying by the pool and drinking wine with Sidney’s parents. But Charlotte didn’t need to know these things. Not that he felt inclined to lie, or obliged to impress his seat mate on a flight. After all, she was a fellow student like him. But for some reason, he wanted her to be impressed by him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>In contrast, Charlotte had barely traveled anywhere. She’d been to Spain a few times to visit relatives, but this was her first trip to the U.S. And she most definitely never spent any leisure vacation abroad. But he didn’t need to know that. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She wondered if he had a girlfriend, but then put that out of her mind as finding romance on a plane seemed ridiculous. Not that she would even know how to go about it. There were a few dates she’d been on since starting school in London, and while they weren’t disastrous, they weren’t particularly memorable either. She had a boyfriend for about a month back home in Willingden, but they split up and she felt little remorse. Overall, love was fairly foreign to Charlotte, and certainly so were the protocols of interacting with guys. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And given how attractive this one was, it was probably a good assumption that making a friend was the best outcome here. In fact, it would be amazing. He was a great conversationalist. This discussion was far more engrossing than anything she had with her roommates, or her coworkers at the café.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Friendship wasn’t exactly what was on Sidney’s mind. Just before boarding, he’d been on the phone with Eliza who was (again) angry about returning from a tropical vacation without an engagement. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Do you know the first thing that Zara asked me when I saw her today?” Sidney didn’t even try to answer. “’Well, did you get a ring?’ It was so awkward!”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Before the trip, they talked about getting engaged. Well, Eliza did, mostly. It made sense. Especially if they wanted to have a couple years to themselves before children. The idea of marriage freaked him out (and paying for the massive ring she wanted on a student’s budget was impossible), but he didn’t want to be a disappointment.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>After she left Antigua, things were mildly improved as he didn’t have to listen to her bellyaching. But then every conversation with the fellow wedding guests seemed to be about couples, marriage, babies - and he felt lonely and weary from minding his siblings. In a drunken text chat with her a couple of nights later, he promised on their next trip together they would get engaged. Later, he kicked himself for committing to some outrageous vacation proposal and the pressure was on. The very next day, she began sending him links to rings she wanted.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Since then, he didn’t bring it up with her again, and he felt an impending sense of doom. If only there was just a simple sign from the universe that he was doing the right thing. Or that there was an alternative.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He brought the topic up with his siblings one day. And he thought they would overwhelm him with excitement. Instead, everyone seemed, well, indifferent. Tom was mildly enthused, commenting on the excellent connections Eliza could provide for the family business. That made him feel better about his decision. But overall, Diana and Arthur showed about as much enthusiasm as they did for an afternoon tea. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh that sounds lovely,” Diana said.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well done, Sidney! Can you be sure to pick a less humid location for your wedding?” Arthur answered with his trademark laugh.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Even Georgiana and Otis were lukewarm, and he’d assumed they would have the most input given they had just gone through it themselves. But all Georgiana said was “I’m sure you’ll make the right decision.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Now he found himself engrossed in conversation with someone who wasn’t even in his consciousness an hour ago, who felt like she deserved all his attention. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney barely noticed anything happening on the plane. All he noticed was Charlotte’s expressive eyes, her genuine smile, and above all, her attentiveness. So he kept talking. He kept thinking of new things he needed ask her about, and more stories to make her laugh. And when he heard that delightful giggle, he did everything in his power to hear it again. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And he did. He had her in stitches, until the man in front of her finally asked them to keep it down. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Embarrassed, they looked at each other and sniggered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>At that moment, the flight attendant arrived to take their dinner orders. Charlotte had no idea there was menu in first class, let alone multiple courses with multiple choices. She chose prawns and the guinea fowl, with a glass of sauvignon blanc. Sidney had the meze plate, the short rib and a merlot. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think this menu is nicer than the last date I went on,” Charlotte quipped.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I should hope so for the price of a first class ticket,” Sidney replied.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well, I feel like an imposter since I was upgraded.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Right, what happened there? I saw you go by and then suddenly you were back. Did I scare you off?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She laughed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No! My ticket is for 39A, but the man next to me was throwing such a tantrum they moved me so he could have both seats.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney scoffed. “Oh <em>that</em> arsehole. I heard him when we were all waiting to board. Thank God <em>he</em> wasn’t the one who got upgraded.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes, you definitely should be thankful because he has a very, uh, pungent bouquet.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney nearly spit out his wine. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“In that case, Charlotte,” he said with excessive humility, “I thank you for your service.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He raised his glass across the gap, and she returned his toast. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“May I join you for dinner?” he asked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She laughed. “I don’t think you have much of a choice!”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ah, but have you noticed these little footstools double as seats?” He unbuckled himself from his own seat, stood and took a seat on the foot rest in front of her. He was now so close to her their legs were touching. While the seat was intended to be for two people to face each other, it did not afford much space between them. Being a tall man, Sidney looked ridiculous wedged in there.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh, I was wondering how to use that tuffet, given items like bags aren’t supposed to be sitting unsecured. Now I realize it’s for impromptu conversation.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Do you mind?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If you’re not uncomfortable, why would I mind?” She had a warm smile, and the dimple in her chin made her smile that much sweeter.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh, I wasn’t sure if there was an in-flight movie you’d rather watch.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She smiled. “You seem to be my in-flight entertainment.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He felt something in his stomach flip. Something very similar to what she felt when she first looked at him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>They chatted all through dinner, and then through another glass of wine, and then coffee and dessert. It was as if they were old friends who had suddenly reunited after years apart. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She was completely captivated. This handsome stranger whom she just met made her feel closer than her old boyfriend ever made her feel, and already seemed to know her better than her friends. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>In the blink of a dark, seductive brown eye, they were already halfway through the flight. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They’d talked of philosophy, books, music, family, pets. They finally realized the rest of the cabin was dark, with the blue ceiling lights casting a dreamy hue on them. Theirs were the only overhead lights still on. The other first class passengers were all asleep.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney leaned in closer to Charlotte, so they were now talking barely above a whisper. Sidney noticed Charlotte’s eyes were blinking slower, her eyelids closing, and her head was nodding. She was beautiful, and the pout of her full lips only endeared him to her. He called for a blanket and draped it over her as she slept, turned out the lights and returned to his seat. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Goodnight, Charlotte. See you in a couple hours.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She heard him, but she was already too close to sleep to answer. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>In the darkness, he exhaled slowly. Was this the sign he had asked for?</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Theo James once did a voiceover for Audi and I'll probably buy an Audi now.<br/>https://youtu.be/XR86vRTe8W0</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wow, I am overwhelmed at everyone’s support for this story! Thank you for your kind comments and encouragement. I must admit I am quite apprehensive about the reaction to this next chapter. I can assure you Charlotte and Sidney are forever the protagonists and I have no interest in making either of them unlikeable. In my mind, they are two souls in fluid circumstances, with a relationship that is a continuum, if that makes sense. Also, as you may have noticed, they are quite young. When I was that age, I was pretty stupid and really tragically bad at relationships. Perhaps I was immature, sheltered, and overly naïve, but I made a LOT of bad decisions. If you were lucky to not have done the same, I congratulate you and am jealous. Anyhow, thank you again for reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlotte was curled up in her seat. Sidney looked at her with a slight smile, amazed she was petite enough to tuck her feet underneath her and recline comfortably, as if lounging at home in a sofa. Her full lips opened in her sleep and she had a relaxed pout that made her look quite young in the moment.</p><p>Without Charlotte’s attention, he was now left to his own thoughts and was faced with something completely unexpected: he was incredibly attracted to this cute girl with expressive dark eyes and irresistible dimpled chin. Yet, it wasn't right. He was on the verge of getting engaged to Eliza. He loved her. They’d been together since their first year at university, and their relationship made sense.</p><p>Sidney stood to stretch his legs and visit the toilet. He found he couldn’t return to his seat just yet, so he wandered into the empty galley, not looking for anything except maybe answers. His current emotional state must be the circumstance of traveling, he concluded. In this space, he could be anyone. And he was having a blast being a man who could freely converse (alright, flirt), with someone who could hold her own on the topic of philosophy, who seemed genuine in her interest, who made him laugh and didn’t roll her eyes when he talked. He was able to be the true Sidney.</p><p>He heard a shuffle behind him, and turned to find Charlotte standing in the entry, looking at him with sleepy eyes.</p><p>“What’s back here?” she asked.</p><p>“Probably all the good alcohol,” he answered with a low laugh. She yawned.</p><p>“Were you waiting for the toilet?” she asked.</p><p>“No, please go ahead,” he answered and stepped back for her to pass. In the narrow passage, she had to inch sideways to get around him, and for a brief moment, their bodies were in contact. They both felt an electric charge between them, and when she looked up to apologize, she found him already gazing down at her with an intensity that ignited all her senses. In that second, when their eyes locked, there was nothing else. There was no one else. He knew and she knew.</p><p>Sidney’s lips parted. “Charlotte…”</p><p>There was a loud cough.</p><p>“Did you two need something?” A flight attendant stood behind them, with an eyebrow cocked. She knew what she stumbled upon and contrary to popular belief, the flight attendants know exactly what’s happening and where. They also do not enjoy interrupting amorous couples who think they are getting away with something in dark corners of the airplane.</p><p>Sidney and Charlotte quickly moved apart, and were mumbling over each other in response.</p><p>“No, thank you,” Charlotte answered, and quickly locked herself in the toilet.</p><p>Sidney looked away, flustered and asked for a bourbon. Clearly, he was going to need some help getting to sleep. He returned to his seat with his drink, and several minutes later, Charlotte sat back down, still blushing. He looked over at her, and when she finally looked back at him, he broke out into an embarrassed smile.</p><p>“Charlotte, I’m so glad I met you. Thank you for keeping me entertained on this flight.”</p><p>“I kept <em>you</em> entertained? You’re the one with all the stories.” That smile had something else behind it, she thought, and unable to rationalize it, she suddenly felt shy. He looked affectionately at her.</p><p>“You should get some sleep.”</p><p>She sighed. “Perhaps we both should.”</p><p>Curling back under the blanket, she feel asleep almost instantly. Sidney’s smile relaxed and he observed how easy it was for her to simply drop back into slumber. She was lucky. She probably didn’t have such burdens as a high maintenance partner and demanding family. She was clearly still in the middle of her academic career, and could focus on her own needs. He envied that, and wished he was still in that position.</p><p>He tossed back the remainder of his bourbon, and eventually drifted off.</p><p>A flight attendant’s voice came over the sound system, rousing the cabin from sleep. In about 90 minutes, the plane would land, and flight attendants were starting to serve breakfast. Charlotte was groggy and stiff. She remembered where she was and who was seated beside her, and quickly checked herself for embarrassing hair or, god forbid, drool marks. She rose to wash up and brush her teeth, self-conscious she had fallen asleep without doing so.</p><p>As she returned to her seat, she glanced quickly at Sidney. At some point in the night, he had put on the eye mask that came in the personal toiletries pack. She grinned to herself that someone like Sidney would wear such a thing, and then realized that he could be wearing a clay mask on his face with cucumber slices on his eyes, and he’d still be handsome.</p><p>The attendant came by for breakfast orders. Perusing the options, Charlotte ordered orange juice, coffee and yoghurt.</p><p>“And do you know what Mr. Parker would like?” She was thrown off by the question and was about to explain they weren’t traveling together, but impetuously, she said “How about the Belgian waffle?”</p><p>Breakfast came, and yet Sidney still slept. Breakfast was cleared, and he still slept. In fact, it was only a sudden jolt from light turbulence that woke him. Disoriented, he pulled off his mask and sat up frowning.</p><p>“Are we landing already?”<br/>Charlotte laughed, “Yes Sidney, you must have been really tired because you slept through all the noise of announcements and breakfast.”</p><p>He blinked a few times, clearly still confused, and then he seemed disappointed. “I missed breakfast?”</p><p>“Yes, I ordered you a Belgian waffle, but they cleared it away about five minutes ago. I’m sorry,” she gave him an apologetic look, but stifled a laugh at his hurt expression.</p><p>“Aw, I love waffles.”</p><p>Now it was Charlotte’s turn to find him endearing. He was almost pouting at realizing he missed his breakfast. As Sidney regained his senses, he became even more disappointed when it dawned on him that his time with Charlotte was ending, and that real life awaited him on the ground. Before he fell asleep, he planned to continue their discussion as soon as she woke up. It had not occurred to him that he’d sleep through that.</p><p>“Are you alright?” Charlotte asked, sensing he was out of sorts. He sighed and forced a weak smile.</p><p>“Please tell me I didn’t snore.”</p><p>She burst out laughing. “No! Maybe, a little,” she teased.</p><p>He grimaced.</p><p>“I’m just kidding, Sidney! You didn’t snore,” she took a breath from laughing. “Did I?”</p><p>He looked at her out the side of his eye. “Boy, did you?! The other passengers were wondering if I was running an electric saw.”</p><p>She gasped and laughed, reaching across to smack his arm. She got up to use the toilet once more before landing, when suddenly, the plane shuddered as it entered some turbulence. She grabbed the back of seat, inadvertently letting out a small yelp.</p><p>“Did you just scream?” Sidney teased.</p><p>“Don’t be ridiculous,” she scoffed.</p><p>At that moment, the plane dropped unexpectedly again, and again, she shrieked. She lost her balance, and she fell. She stretched her arm out to break her fall, and accidentally planted her palm on Sidney’s chest. He reached up to steady her, grabbing her arm with one hand and supporting her back with the other. They were both laughing now, and she apologized profusely as she stood up. She was nearly upright, when a third plunge caused her to land flat on Sidney’s lap.</p><p>“Oooh!” Charlotte exclaimed.</p><p>Sidney was too stunned to say anything. As she regained composure, she realized she was sitting on him, leaning against his chest and felt his hands on her arms. Embarrassed, she scrambled to get up.</p><p>“Uh, I’m… I’m so sorry!” She was deep shade of pink, and her heart was racing.</p><p>“It’s perfectly alright,” he answered.</p><p>“Are you ok?”</p><p>“Just embarrassed.”</p><p>“You needn’t be.”</p><p>When she looked back at him, he had half a smile and a look that made her breath stop. She ducked back into her seat and looked away, grateful he didn’t make any comments about lap dances or bumpy rides.</p><p>The remainder of the approach and the landing was smooth, no further lurches from turbulence. But Charlotte felt her insides turning anyhow.</p><p>As the passengers readied to deplane, both Sidney and Charlotte each separately struggled with the end of the flight of fantasy. Except the fantasy part never got off the ground.</p><p>It was still early in the morning in London. The terminal was relatively uncrowded for a Sunday morning, and they took their time making their way out. After a couple of false starts, Sidney finally said something.</p><p>“Is someone picking you up?”</p><p>“Er, no.” Charlotte was unsure if her answer would imply she was friendless and weird.</p><p>“Do you need to be somewhere?”</p><p>“Not particularly.” Now she was concerned she sounded boring.</p><p>“Well, I’m starving. Will you join me for breakfast?”</p><p>She looked confused for a moment. “Here?”</p><p>He chuckled.</p><p>“No, let’s get our bags and share a taxi. We can drop you off if you like, and have breakfast in your neighbourhood?”</p><p>She hesitated. No one had ever suggested such a thing to her, and now she wondered if this was going to be too awkward.</p><p>“I don’t know. My mum told me not to get into cars with strange men,” she answered, trying to make light of the situation.</p><p>“You think I’m strange then?” He grinned. “At least you don’t think I’m boring.”</p><p>She laughed, but didn't say anything.</p><p>“How about this: Sit down with me in the lounge for a coffee? I’m just disappointed I didn’t get to chat with you over waffles.”</p><p>He was smiling at her and laughing, and she couldn’t resist saying yes.</p><p>Not knowing where the BA lounge was, she followed him. He’d only been there once on the flight out with Eliza. The space was fairly open and only about half filled. They wandered to seats close to the tall window. The sun was not out, but the sky was lighter. However, distant clouds portended rain. They sat down, and facing him straight on like this, she felt shy again. She realized she was holding her breath. Was it normal to feel this way about someone she only met hours ago?</p><p>Sidney wasn’t really sure what he was doing but he didn’t really care right now. Things with Charlotte were too enjoyable to stop, and this was his sign. Even if she didn’t turn out to be someone he could be with long term, <em>she</em> was a sign that there was another path for him. And for the first time in a while, he was kind of excited.</p><p>“I forgot it’s Sunday. Looks like they’re setting up for brunch. Now I’m glad I missed the breakfast, and we can have champagne,” Sidney commented, as the waiter approached to take their orders.</p><p>Champagne, coffee and a Belgian waffle for him, espresso and a croissant for her.</p><p>“You don’t care for champagne?” he asked after the waiter left.</p><p>“Oh, it’s not that,” Charlotte laughed. “I’m not 18.”</p><p>Sidney’s smile dropped, jaw slack and sat back in shock. She stopped laughing when she realized that he wasn’t laughing at all. He cleared his throat.</p><p>“Wait, can I ask… how old are you, Charlotte?”</p><p>“I’m 17,” she turned red in her ears.</p><p>“But you had wine on the plane.”</p><p>“They don’t really ask for your ID on planes,” she answered, sheepishly. “Why? How old are you?”</p><p>Sidney stared at her, looked down, and swallowed. “I’m 24.”</p><p>Hm. Her manager at the café was 24. Her brother was 24 and he had just gotten engaged to his girlfriend, whom he’d been seeing for two and half years. She wasn’t sure what to say.</p><p>“Does my age bother you?” she asked. “I mean, we’re just chatting over breakfast.”</p><p>Seven years seemed like a big difference, but at the same time, she’d never felt any of that age gap in their conversation.</p><p>“Right.” He cleared his throat again. He certainly wasn’t going to disclose the other thoughts he had. “Well, why would it? I mean, I feel like we’re friends even though we haven’t known each other long.”</p><p>He was stalling so he could sort out the thoughts he was having. Jesus, was he a pervert? She didn’t <em>look</em> 17. She looked the same age as his fellow graduate students. He was pretty sure he already ran through inappropriate thoughts two or three times since leaving the plane. He was fairly certain he wasn’t the only one that noticed her curvy figure, probably not the only one who thought about what it would be like to kiss those full lips, the golden skin of her neck…</p><p>Stop. Nevermind, that can’t happen right now. Plus, there was that whole thing of being in a relationship with Eliza.</p><p>“Oh, I’m so glad you said that!” Charlotte said with a smile, though inwardly she was collapsing. She just got friend-zoned, and she couldn’t kid herself that she wasn’t disappointed, and now she felt she had to overcompensate. “I honestly haven’t met anyone that’s been so great to talk to.”</p><p>His smile returned and he looked down and chuckled to himself.</p><p>“Charlotte, I must admit I thought you were closer to my age, since you’re in graduate school. You must be some kind of prodigy?”</p><p>She furrowed her brow. “Oh, I’m not a graduate student. I’m in my first year - at University College London. Why did you think I was in graduate school?”</p><p>“Um, the scholarship, the rotation in New York, the way you speak,” he had closed his eyes for a moment, and was trying to 1) not feel like a creep, and 2) figure out a way for them to still be friends. And of course 3) not feel like a creep for wanting to be friends with someone her age.</p><p>“It’s an undergraduate rotation, only for one semester.”</p><p>“Oh, I see.” Again, he went silent.</p><p>“Is there something wrong, Sidney?”</p><p>He looked up and her eyes were so wide and searching. There was something so precious in those deep brown eyes, and even if he couldn’t know her romantically, he didn’t want to <em>not</em> know her. He’d never met anyone with whom he connected like this.</p><p>“There’s nothing wrong, Charlotte. I’m really glad I met you,” he said quietly.</p><p>“I feel the same way! If I get this scholarship…”</p><p>“WHEN you get this scholarship,” he corrected. She laughed.</p><p>“Of course! <em>When</em> I get this scholarship, I want you to be the first to know.”</p><p>His face brightened and he was genuinely delighted that she could consider him - a near stranger - worthy of that honor.</p><p>“Charlotte, how can you possibly think I’d be the one you want to tell first? What about your family? Your boyfriend?” This might be a lot less humiliating if she has a boyfriend, and they could pretend there was no attraction between them.</p><p>“Oh, they’ll be happy for me of course.” She gave a shy glance to the side. “And I haven’t a boyfriend.”</p><p>Well, fuck.</p><p>“I’ll be incredibly honored to be the one you tell first.” He regarded her with an intense stare. He smiled, trying to will away the tightness in his chest. Being with her felt… he didn’t want to admit what he felt. </p><p>She got a look of concern and hurt in her eyes.</p><p>“Sidney, what did I say wrong?”</p><p>“Wrong?” he looked at her perplexed. “You didn’t say anything wrong.”</p><p>“Then why did your entire demeanor change?”</p><p>He inhaled sharply, and stalled.</p><p>“Ah, did it?” he looked down embarrassed, and struggled to find words. “Well, it didn’t occur to me there was such an age gap between us.” </p><p>Charlotte felt foolish. She was still childish in his eyes, a pathetic teenager who was obviously crushing on someone who was out of her league. Oddly, she never felt comfortable among the ‘men’ her age. She couldn’t even really consider them men. Even the women were unrelatable. She could barely pay attention to conversation amongst her peers, because all she could hear was the scream of hormones. Hormones seem to make everyone incapable of logic.</p><p>“Does that matter? I have many friends who are younger than me and older than me. I hope you’re not judging me differently just because of a number.”</p><p>He felt self-conscious and looked around, ensuring no one was listening.</p><p>“Charlotte, it’s not about… I’m not judging you at all,” he said in a lowered voice. “I think you know why it matters.”</p><p>“No, actually. I could talk for hours to my grandad whom I consider one of my best friends. And my friend Kate’s younger brother is 10, and I feel like I’m closer to him than I am with Kate.”</p><p>Sidney laughed and shook his head. She was utterly charming and didn’t want to embarrass her by explaining and being perceived as a predator.</p><p>“You amaze me,” he laughed. “Nevermind.”</p><p>There was a long tense silence between them, and fortunately, the waiter arrived with their orders.</p><p>After he left, Sidney regained his composure.</p><p>“You know for someone who’s only 17, you have a lot experiences of your own. How is that?”</p><p>She wasn’t sure if she should be offended at that comment, and if she should, which part was actually offensive?</p><p>“Well, to be clear, I will be 18 in a couple months. But I don’t really know what you mean. I guess I started uni early, but I’ve been studying philosophy for many years, which I think is why I qualified for the rotation this year. My parents expected all of us kids to be pretty self-sufficient early on. I’ve been nearly financially independent for a couple of years now. And I suppose I work with people who are older than I.”</p><p>She looked at him quizzically and tilted her head. “Is that what you mean?”</p><p>He paused. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it to sound rude. It’s just that most people I know aren’t like you. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you.”</p><p>“And what am I like that is so unusual?” she asked, sipping her espresso.</p><p>“Well, for one, I never drank espresso when I was 17,” he smiled. “You’re independent and you seem to enjoy thinking critically. You study philosophy, for fuck’s sake. Apart from the people in my program, I’ve not met anyone that studies philosophy.”</p><p>“That doesn’t seem all that unusual.”</p><p>“Well, maybe not, but unlike most people, I like you,” he said with scoff.</p><p>She scowled. “That’s rather cynical.”</p><p>“Oh, I suppose you’re right. Perhaps I’m just grumpy because I haven’t eaten,” he said trying to redirect the discussion.</p><p>She broke her expression and laughed. “I’m sorry Sidney. I should have woken you.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m just kidding. I know how to feed myself,” he smirked. “Having said that, do you mind if we tuck in?”</p><p>Sidney was never so meticulous about eating breakfast in his life.</p><p>“So what do you have slated for the rest of the day?” she asked. He was supposed to see Eliza. He hadn’t brought Eliza up at all in the eight hours he had spent with Charlotte. At this point, it made no sense to hide it from her. </p><p>“I’m supposed to see my girlfriend Eliza and her friends for dinner.”</p><p>Charlotte blinked a couple of times and then picked at the flakes of croissant that had fallen. She didn’t know why she felt her heart sink. She wasn’t on a date. They weren’t involved. And yet, she felt punched in the gut.</p><p>“That sounds nice. She must have missed you while you were in Antigua.”</p><p>“Actually she was there too, but she left early. The night of Georgiana’s wedding, in fact. She didn’t like it there, and wanted to get back early.”</p><p>Charlotte unwittingly wrinkled her brow for a moment, and then it was gone.</p><p>“She left on her own?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Now it was Sidney’s turn to look into his coffee cup.</p><p>“You don’t seem like you are ok with that,” she added.</p><p>He gave a weak smile.</p><p>“Actually things got better after that. So I’m fine with it.”</p><p>That wasn’t very convincing, but Charlotte didn’t say anything in response. It wasn’t her place to make a comment about a relationship that she wished didn’t exist. She was still struggling to be ok with just being friends.</p><p>“Well, I’m sure she’ll be happy to have you back. I can imagine she must have missed you a lot.”</p><p>He wondered. Eliza used to be away for weeks when she was modeling, and the communication was inconsistent. He understood she was busy, but she always seemed to have enough time to post thoughtfully edited photos on Instagram. Now, they sometimes only talked once during the work week, without the excuse of business travel getting in the way.</p><p>“Possibly. It was only a week.”</p><p>“A week seems like a long time to be away from someone you love.” She cringed. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I only meant that time is relative.”</p><p>“It’s alright, I understand. And yes, in this case, it is relatively short.” He had a distant look.</p><p>She didn’t know what to say, and let the silence grow to discomfort.</p><p>“I really stuck my foot in it, didn’t I?” she said. He laughed. </p><p>"You know, for only knowing you for about 12 hours, you have a better understanding of me than most people.” Sidney was grinning to himself.</p><p>“Oh, I doubt that!”</p><p>“Certainly better than my family or friends. I don’t think any of them picked up on the fact that Eliza and I weren’t getting along on the trip.”</p><p>“How can someone not get along with you? You seem like so much fun, with all the scuba diving and ziplining and other adventures…”</p><p>"Ah… well the part that I left out was Eliza and my family didn’t want to do any of those things with me.”</p><p>“Oh.” Sensing a sore spot, she changed the subject. “So what will you do when you finish your studies?”</p><p>“I’ll work with my brother to expand the London office of our family’s business. But in the near term, I have to help organize the Sanditon regatta.”</p><p>“A regatta! Do you row?”</p><p>He laughed. “I used to, but not any more. The regatta is a long standing tradition in my home town, and the Parker family has been sponsoring this event for generations. All my siblings and I need to be there with my parents to keep it going.”</p><p>“How exciting! I’ve never been to one.” He felt a warmth in his heart. Eliza never explicitly said she hated the regatta, but Sidney knew. After the first year, she made excuses to avoid it.</p><p>“Well, if you have an interest in visiting a small seaside town to see a regatta, I happen to be a good person to be friends with. You can be my guest.”</p><p>She grinned. “Ah so you are willing to be friends with a mere teenager? In that case, I would love to see a regatta.” She smiled broadly at him.</p><p>He smiled back but his eyes belied a sadness. </p><p>“Look, Charlotte, I want us to be friends. But I don’t want to come across as some older weirdo that is preying on a teenaged girl.”</p><p>She looked offended.</p><p>“I don’t get that feeling from you. You and I aren't like that. I don't see you as just ‘some older guy,’ and I hope you don’t see me ‘just a teenager.’ There is so much more to me than my age, and I think the same way about you."</p><p>Her expression softened and her words were bare and free of pretense.</p><p>"I’ve never met anyone like you either, Sidney. It would be a privilege to be friends.” </p><p>Sidney's shoulders relaxed and the look in his eyes changed to warm gratitude.</p><p>She looked out the window at the planes taxiing on the tarmac. “And besides, you have Eliza.”</p><p>The lounge was filling with people. The sky was still grey, but the clouds were starting to dissipate.</p><p>“Perhaps we should head out now. It looks like a good time to make our move, while things are somewhat clear?” she commented peering up at the sky through the window.</p><p>Sidney downed the rest of his champagne.</p><p>“Yes, I think that's the best approach for us."</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A few folks enjoyed the link to the Audi commercial, so I thought I would also share these links to a compilation of all of Theo James lines from Castlevania. Most of me melts, but part of me giggles at the idea of Theo James in a recording booth, making grunting noises into a mic for the action scenes.<br/>https://youtu.be/LqHLXsg7pKA<br/>https://youtu.be/1rxZaIvSKgI</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey, you guys!<br/><br/>I wanted to post this chapter sooner, but yesterday was my birthday! Mr. Origins took me out for a beach picnic, and then left a super sweet note on Chapter 2 here. He's the cutest. And yes, I did get into a lot of trouble for using him as inspiration for stuff in all my stories but only the good stuff. Fortunately, he is my Sidney, as opposed to the other ex-boyfriends who were who more Mr. Collins. (Like I said, I really Tom Parkered my love life in my teens and early 20s - and thanks to @ItsRudely for making that a verb in those great Twitter dialogue re-writes.)<br/><br/>This is the second birthday I've celebrated in isolation, and it bums me out. I'm so grateful for the community of fellow fans that I can connect with here and on Facebook and Twitter. You all have kept me sane. Thank you for reaching out in comments.</p><p>Oh, one small note: I forgot to mention where Charlotte went to university. I selected UCL for it's location in London. I honestly know very little about it apart from what's on the website. Please forgive me if I get any details about it wrong.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <p>By the time Charlotte and Sidney left the airport, the rain started and was steadily getting heavier. They shared a taxi back into town, and with the delays from the rain, it took nearly an hour to get to Charlotte’s flat near UCL.</p>
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  <p>As they sat in traffic, Sidney thought if they were going to be friends, he may as well be friendly.</p>
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  <p>“Do you have a roommate?”</p>
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  <p>“Yes, Clara. She’s also a first year, and we share a flat.”</p>
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  <p>“And how are the accommodations there? Cramped?”</p>
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  <p>“A bit, but I had to share a room with my sister back home, so this is an improvement since I have my own space.”</p>
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  <p>“I don’t think I could share a room with my brothers. That would be a disaster.” He shook his head.</p>
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  <p>“Do they all live with you?”</p>
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  <p>“No, only Tom does. Arthur and Diana still at home with my parents in Sanditon,” he said. “I may have to move out next year though, after Tom gets married.”</p>
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  <p>“They’re going to take over your place?” she asked, surprised.</p>
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  <p>“Well, I’ve been told I can still live there, but I’m not entirely sure I want that,” he said frowning.</p>
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  <p>“You don’t get along with your brother’s fiancée?”</p>
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  <p>“No, I like Mary just fine, I just thought it would be a good time to move in with Eliza.”</p>
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  <p>“I see.” She tensed and looked out her window. “How long have you been together?”</p>
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  <p>“Five years.” </p>
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  <p>She turned to look at him with wide eyes. “Five years? Wow, that’s quite an accomplishment.”</p>
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  <p>Was it? He wasn’t sure what that had actually accomplished. Throughout university, he didn’t have the bandwidth or emotional skills to deal with the demands of his coursework and dating. Tom often advised him to focus on his work, and with Eliza, simply take the path of least resistance. </p>
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  <p>“Sidney, she’s gorgeous. Keep her happy, just go with the flow,” he said at the time.</p>
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  <p>His parents too thought Eliza was beautiful and refined, and that his course work was more important to focus on. Dating was a distraction. </p>
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  <p>There was nothing wrong with Eliza, and their relationship was fine. Certainly they had their struggles - lots of them. But Sidney didn’t like to give up on things. He remembered Tom once asked what the secret was to a long successful marriage, and their father replied “I just do whatever she tells me.”</p>
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  <p>In that moment, it was a joke, but for some reason, it stuck in Sidney’s head as words of wisdom. </p>
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  <p>Things didn’t really get hard with Eliza until after she quit school and became a full-time model. She moved to Paris for a year, and spent much of her time traveling for jobs and socializing with other models and their rich boyfriends.</p>
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  <p>He actually didn’t mind the long-distance nature during that time. He took a year off to backpack on his own, and met up with her in Santorini where she was on assignment. She was housed in her friend’s villa, and in contrast to all the hostels or local family homes he had been staying at while backpacking, he struggled to adjust. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They fought a lot during that trip. Eliza was not happy at how he had let himself go - shaggy hair, a full uneven beard, noticeable weight loss. She particularly hated his mud-caked hiking sandals that looked they were made from old tires. When he arrived at the villa, the security guard nearly kicked him out for trespassing.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>That was probably the lowest point in their relationship. When he went back to uni, he decided he would pursue a graduate degree. They continued long distance for another two years. In the last year, Eliza decided she would return to work with her family. After that, things got a lot better, but she obviously missed her jet set lifestyle. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>During his time in Antigua, Sidney realized it was exhausting to “go with the flow.” And now that he was headed back toward that reality, he much preferred to live vicariously through Charlotte.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“When do you hear back about the rotation?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Anywhere from a week to four weeks. They weren’t very specific. But you’ll be the first to know.” She smirked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“FaceTime me when you get the email. I want to see your reaction the exact moment you get it.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She frowned. “But what if I don’t get it?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You will. I know you will.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>They finally were approaching Charlotte’s neighbourhood, and the rain wasn’t letting up.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I didn’t realize UCL had housing so close to me,” Sidney commented.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh? Do you live near here?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Near the museum. Less than ten minutes’ drive, I’d say.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Really! Perhaps I’ve seen you at Waitrose,” she laughed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Possibly,” he smiled, though that would be unlikely as he almost never shopped for groceries, preferring takeout and quick bites at cafes.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Were you serious about wanting to come to the regatta?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Depending on my work, yes! Of course.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Then you better give me your number so I can text you the details.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When she did, he immediately sent her a message while sitting next to her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her phone buzzed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney: 😉</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She laughed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you for not giving me a fake number,” he joked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She raised her eyebrows in disbelief. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You know, I’ve never actually done that. Seems a bit passive aggressive. But I suppose there are people who might deserve it.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I will neither confirm nor deny ever having received one,” he replied.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She grinned at him. “I wouldn’t judge you either way.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When the taxi pulled up outside her building, the downpour was even worse. Before Charlotte could say anything, Sidney jumped out and ran to open her door, pulling off his jacket. Extending his arm out with the jacket draped over, creating a makeshift umbrella for her, he beckoned her to get under the covering.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Come on,” he held his hand out for her, dismissing her protests. He hauled her bag out, and she huddled under his jacket as they ran together to the shelter of the entrance. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh no, you’re completely wet!” she exclaimed, breathless from running. Sidney was drenched, water dripping from his hair, his shirt completely soaked. “You didn’t have to do that.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He smiled back. “But then I wouldn’t have had a chance to give you a proper goodbye.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>For a second, she was tongue-tied, lost in his expression. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That is kind of you. But it isn’t goodbye, is it? Since we’re friends now?” she hesitated. “I wasn’t sure if you were serious about being friends, but I am.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He felt a warmth and tightness in his chest, and he felt a desperate need to prove that he could be friends - that he was worthy of friendship. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’d like that.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Good. In that case, I look forward to hearing about the regatta.” She felt shy again and looked down.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He smiled back. “I will text you. See you later, Charlotte.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“See you later, Sidney.” She stepped inside and waved. He quickly turned around, and bolted for the waiting taxi. She stood watching him, and just before the taxi pulled away, he glanced back at her and winked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ten minutes later, Sidney was back home at the Parker house at Bedford Place. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He threw his things in to his room, took off his wet clothes and indulged in a hot shower, hoping the act would help wash away his thoughts. It did not. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>17. Yikes.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He thought back to when he was 17. He cringed at the memory. On any given weekend, he was likely with his mates from school, studying for A-levels or acting like idiots at a party somewhere. That life seemed like a it belonged to another person entirely, and by the time he was at university, he was grateful to have found close friendships in William Babington and Frank Crowe, his first year roommates. Eliza and her friends had the flat below his, and for about a month, they were all coupled up with each other. Babbers and Crowe quickly deemed that unsustainable and moved on, as did Eliza’s roommates. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He got out of the shower and busied himself with unpacking to forget those feelings. He checked his phone for any updates from Eliza on dinner - hopefully, a cancellation. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Instead, he saw there was a text from Charlotte.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte<em>: I didn’t have a chance to pay you for the taxi. Can I transfer you the money?</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney<em>: No</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte<em>: Paypal? Transferwise?</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney<em>: I meant, no, you can’t because you don’t owe me anything. I would have taken a taxi back regardless.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte<em>: Oh. Well, thank you, I truly appreciate not having to deal with the buses. </em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte<em>: Hope you didn’t catch a cold being soaked to the bone in the rain.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney<em>: It was raining?</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte: </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney:<em> "Old??"</em> <em>You’re the only one that gets to call me old, you know.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte<em>: Aww, I'm just joking, Sidney. I don’t want that privilege. </em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney<em>: Have you even *seen* Star Wars?</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte<em>: That scene is from Empire Strikes Back, but yes, I have seen Star Wars. </em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney<em>: I beg your pardon. I didn't expect your interests to be so diverse.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte<em>: I may be 17, but I am quite knowledgeable about pop culture. I’ll let it slide this time, old man. </em>😉</p>
  <p>Sidney<em>: </em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney: <em>Well, I see there's no intimidating you.</em></p>
  <p>Charlotte<em>: Thanks again for the ride. Enjoy your dinner.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>He sighed.</p>
  <p>Right. Sure.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Getting back into the routine of lectures, assignments and work helped Charlotte move on. But then once she was back at her flat, she desperately needed distractions to keep her mind away from thoughts of Sidney. Which totally weren’t still lingering. Nope, not at all. Not that moment she first saw him and he looked at her with his intense gaze, or when he said her name in the tiny passage by the galley. Definitely not how his body felt on hers when she fell on him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“A package came for you,” Clara called out excitedly, when she heard Charlotte return home. “It’s on the kitchen table.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“A package? I didn’t order anything,” Charlotte responded, perplexed. She dropped her bags, while Clara came out and joined her to gawk at the box.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ooooh, a surprise!” Clara teased. “Maybe one of your customers at the cafe?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well that would be odd, given that I don’t have any regulars,” Charlotte answered picking up the package. It was a substantial size. About the same size box that her blender came in. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh my god, hurry and open it! I’m dying!” Clara was practically bouncing off the walls.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte cut the box open with a knife from the kitchen, and nestled inside in a bed of shredded paper was another box. A wooden one, with a note taped to the front.</p>
  <p>
    <em><br/>
To be opened upon word from Columbia ;) Sidney</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Clara snatched the card from Charlotte’s hand.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She gave her a flirty side-eye. “Who’s Sidney? You never mentioned anyone named Sidney!”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte sighed. “This is precisely why I didn’t mention Sidney - because you would blow it out of proportion and then make me feel weird.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Weird?? Why?” she probed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s nothing, Clara. He’s a friend I made on my flight back.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Clara stared at her. “What, you mean two days ago? You must have made quite an impression if he sent you a gift two days after meeting you!”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She threw the card on the table and grinned at Charlotte. “Ok, spill it! What happened, and will you teach me?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte turned bright red and laughed. “Oh my god! Nothing happened!”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh sure! Come on... Did you snog in the dark? Are you in the Mile High Club?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No! Gosh! He was my seat mate, and we just got to talking. That’s all.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Clara pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow. “I don’t believe you at all. Why are you blushing then?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She rolled her eyes. </p>
  <p>“Because that’s all it was. Unfortunately. It would have been nice if there was a possibility, but he’s practically engaged to his girlfriend of five years.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Clara's face contorted in disbelief.</p>
  <p>“FIVE years? What the fuck, Charlotte? How old is this guy?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte winced. “Look don’t freak out.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There’s pretty much no better guarantee that I’ll freak out, than telling me <em>not</em> to freak out,” Clara answered. “How old is this guy?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte let out a long sigh.</p>
  <p>“24,” she said quietly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Clara’s jaw dropped and her hands immediately cupped her cheeks. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Are you mad?! That’s seven years older than you!”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes, Clara, I have mastered arithmetic.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s like a decade!”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ok, that’s a bit of stretch, don’t you think?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"But seven years, Charlie! When he was your age, you weren't even in secondary school."</p>
  <p>"Well, actually..."</p>
  <p>"Ok, ok you started early. But 24! Charlotte, why do you think he’s into you?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hey!”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No, I didn’t mean it like that! I mean is he like a child molester or something?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Excuse me! Do I look like a bloody child to you?! Look, he’s a grad student at LSE, studying philosophy. We bonded over that, and then we couldn’t stop talking, and we just quickly became friends. I mean, he didn’t know my age when we started chatting. I didn’t know his either. I just assumed he was student like us, and probably a couple years older. It didn’t occur to me he would be seven years older.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But is he like, OLD, old? Like does he have like a car and a house and stuff?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte looked puzzled. “Um, I didn’t really ask, and I’m pretty sure there are no age requirements on owning a car or a house. But look, I think none of this really matters, because like I said, he has a long-term girlfriend. He is my friend. Nothing more.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Clara looked at her skeptically. “For now.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte sighed in response.</p>
  <p>“Yeah, well let’s just say he’s also as freaked out about our difference in age as you are. So I think we’re pretty safe that I’m not being preyed on, and there's no chance of anything.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So you DO want something to happen!”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte chuckled. “Oh, I’m not even going to allow that thought to form because we are friends and only friends.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Clara scoffed. “Right. Sure."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte:<em> A mysterious box came today</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney:<em> Oh?  </em>😉</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte<em>: Why did you send me something?</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney: <em>You’ll have to find out when you open it.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte<em>: I’m not sure when I’ll hear back from the scholarship committee. It could be weeks. </em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney<em>: Or it could be days. I wanted to make sure it was there in time.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte<em>: That’s too kind of you, and completely unnecessary. Thank you so much.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney<em>: All caught up on classes? </em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte<em>: For the most part. I spoke with my professors before I left and made sure I had my assignments completed ahead of time.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney<em>: What a perfect student. I’m sure you’ll hear good news soon.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte<em>: Thank you again for the gift. Now I’m really excited to hear from Columbia.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney<em>: You’re welcome. <br/>
<br/>
</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte stared at the box, not knowing what to think of it. To keep herself from opening it in a fit of curiosity, she hid it deep under her bed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>By Friday afternoon, Charlotte was drained. On top of the initial jet lag, it was a long week of classes and afternoon shifts at the café, but tonight she was off and she definitely needed it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Glancing at her phone, she opened her email. There, among the alerts and forwarded emails from her sister, was one from the director of undergraduate studies at Columbia’s department of philosophy. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She gasped and closed her eyes and tried not to scream. Holding her breath, she opened one eye to peek, and then quickly closed her email. She set her phone down and couldn’t contain her excitement any further. She squealed and started jumping in place.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ok, ok, ok, calm down Charlotte. Calm. Down.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She took a deep breath. She picked up her phone again and immediately sent a text to Sidney.</p>
</div><div>
  <p><br/>
Charlotte:<em> I just got the email<br/>
<br/>
</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>She danced in place for a minute and then heard her phone buzz with an incoming FaceTime request from Sidney.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She accepted the invite and within a couple of seconds, she could see Sidney, smiling at her. It looked like he was at home. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“See? It <em>was</em> only a matter of days. Did you open it yet?” he said, grinning at her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No, I’m a bit scared, actually.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well, go on then. You’re more than qualified.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I feel like you’re the only one who thinks so,” she laughed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Perhaps that's because I'm the only one who understands since I also study philosophy.” Sidney’s expression turned serious. “At your level, there is no need for such negativity. You are obviously talented, and the scholarship is not a validation of that, because you are already at that level of accomplishment. Don’t doubt yourself.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You are too kind to me, Sidney.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She took a deep breath, closed her eyes for a moment, and finally clicked open the email, and began reading it aloud.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Dear Charlotte Heywood,</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Thank you so much for traveling to New York for the final round of interviews for the Philosopher’s Forum rotational scholarship. We were extremely impressed by your aptitude and thoroughly enjoyed speaking with you. After careful consideration, we are unable to offer you the scholarship for next year. Unfortunately, the department is unable to offer the scholarships to each worthy candidate, and the choice was particularly difficult this year. We look forward to hearing of your achievements in the future, and wish you the best of luck in your academic career.</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Sincerely,</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Elizabeth Martin</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Columbia University Department of Philosophy</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte’s voice trailed off before she could finish the sign off. She set her phone down and stared ahead.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>There was silence on Sidney’s end. While she couldn’t see his face, his eyebrows were knit together in concern and he was clenching his jaw. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Charlotte?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She walked away from her desk, and laid down on her bed, face into her pillow and silently began to weep.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Charlotte? Are you still there?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>After several minutes of Sidney calling out her name with no response, she finally got her breathing back to normal, wiped her face, and went back to her phone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Are you ok, Charlotte? Please talk to me.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m sorry, Sidney, I have to go,” she sniffled. She hung up before he could even say anything.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>This changed everything. She didn’t even bother to finalize her classes for the fall, assuming she’d be away on the rotation. She still had time, but now she needed to research them and talk to advisors. And she would needed an apartment. This housing she was in now was only guaranteed for first year students. She knew she couldn’t afford a flat on her own, so she would have to find roommates - perhaps she could join Clara and her friends? - and probably her own furniture. It was a lot of logistics to suddenly have to deal with and she was shutting down.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She stared out the window, her focus on nothing in particular. The sky was still light, and as the weather had warmed significantly since the deluge that welcomed her back from New York. There were many more people outside socializing and enjoying the longer days. She could hear a low level of chatter and laughter from the street below. She sat watching the the sunlight gradually fade, and braced herself to call her family.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte spent about an hour on the phone with her parents, sobbing uncontrollably at first. But after 30 minutes of that, her parents sternly told her she had to pull herself together, and get back on track. When she was finally calm, if a bit numb, she heard the buzz of the door bell. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mum, Dad, I’ve got to go. I think Clara locked herself out again.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sweetheart, I don’t want to hear any more disappointment from you about this. I <em>know</em> you, and you will turn this into a new opportunity,” her father reassured.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We love you, darling. Chin up! You'll be just fine,” her mother chimed in. Charlotte’s eyes teared again. </p>
  <p>Right. Sure. <br/>
<br/>
</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The doorbell rang again, and she hurried to the intercom to let Clara in.</p>
  <p>She sat back down and re-read the email. She wondered who actually got the position. </p>
  <p>Charlotte's thoughts were interrupted a sharp knocking. She hauled herself back to the front door, swearing she thought she left it unlocked.</p>
  <p>"Clara, it's unlocked, you should have let yourself in..." </p>
  <p>But instead of Clara standing on the other side, she looked up to see Sidney.</p>
  <p>"Sidney? What are you doing here?" she asked, confused.</p>
  <p>"I was worried when you hung up on me. Are you alright?"</p>
  <p>Charlottes eyes welled up again, and she turned away to wipe the tears away. </p>
  <p>"I'm sorry, I was rude to hang up on you." She suddenly realized she hadn't offered to let him come in. She stepped aside. "Excuse me, I forgot my manners. Do you want to sit down? There's not much to offer in terms of comfort in a first-year dorm..."</p>
  <p>"Thank you, it's fine, Charlotte, really," he answered stepping inside. "I came because I was concerned, not because I was expecting hospitality."</p>
  <p>She closed the door, and they stood awkwardly in the foyer.</p>
  <p>"I'm alright. Really, I am." But she wasn't and she didn't want him to see her like this. "Thank you for coming to check on me, but I'm really fine. Don't tell me you happen to be in the area?"</p>
  <p>"Well, I don't live very far from here, remember?" He could tell she was trying to put on a strong front.</p>
  <p>"And you happened to be doing nothing?" she asked, with a weak smile.</p>
  <p>"No, I was writing, but you seemed upset and distressed. And you weren't responding to any texts."</p>
  <p>She furrowed her brow. Looking down at her phone, she noticed 8 unread texts and an unanswered call that came in while she was on the phone with her parents.</p>
  <p>"I must have missed these while I was talking to my mum and dad. I'm sorry I worried you," she said apologetically. </p>
  <p>"Charlotte, I didn't come here for an apology, I came to make sure you're ok, " he replied. "You know, I'm angry and upset as well. You deserved that scholarship."</p>
  <p>"Oh that's kind of you to say, but obviously I didn't make the cut, so I've got to move on," she said, dejectedly.</p>
  <p>"I know how you feel. I had applied for multiple grants when I started the master's program at LSE, and I was gutted when I didn't get any of them." He looked at her sympathetically. "Come on. Let's take a walk. There's something I want to show you."</p>
  <p>Grateful for the distraction, Charlotte grabbed her jacket and bag and followed him out.</p>
  <p>"Did you walk here?" she asked.</p>
  <p>"Yes, it's a lot easier than trying to find parking."</p>
  <p>They walked for about a half hour, and like their time on the flight back from New York, they fell into a comfortable conversation about their studies, student life, family. They walked past gardens that Charlotte never paid much attention to, college lodgings that she knew were part of UCL but that she had never been to. They peered into obscure museums and closed galleries. And so many pubs, wine bars and cafés. Sidney pointed out his favourites. He told her a story about an aggressive squirrel that latched on to his finger in Brunswick Square Gardens, that he accidentally flung across the grass into the lap of a picnicking couple last summer. That had Charlotte doubled over laughing. </p>
  <p>Sidney carefully avoided bringing up Eliza. He did not want to mention how excruciating the dinner was with Eliza and her friends. Like most of the dinners he had with them, they spent the entire time whinging about work politics, or the latest developments in whatever reality series they were watching. </p>
  <p>Following that night, he didn't see Eliza at all. She was away an another business trip this week, and wouldn't be back for another few days, which gave him plenty of time to stay focused on his thesis. </p>
  <p>Though evidently, this evening would have nothing to do with his thesis. And It became clear they were headed nowhere in particular.</p>
  <p>"What was it you wanted to show me, Sidney?" Charlotte asked.</p>
  <p>"Well..." He stopped, and looked sheepishly at her. "I guess I wanted you to see all the things you would have missed in this area had you gone to New York. And I wanted you to see how much fun it's going to be now that you're staying."</p>
  <p>She looked at him, and smiled broadly. Of all things that could help, the notion of spending more time with him almost made everything ok. </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A few footnotes:<br/>1. Charlotte's dorm::<br/>https://www.google.com/maps/place/James+Lighthill+House/@51.5307745,-0.1147548,3a,75y,90t/data=!3m8!1e2!3m6!1sAF1QipMYe6LMaCWjnbznVXqZ5PBUs8cEnoPhEbOiPWrn!2e10!3e12!6shttps:%2F%2Flh5.googleusercontent.com%2Fp%2FAF1QipMYe6LMaCWjnbznVXqZ5PBUs8cEnoPhEbOiPWrn%3Dw128-h86-k-no!7i1400!8i934!4m5!3m4!1s0x48761b46d557d829:0x5cd9d110c54289f!8m2!3d51.5306897!4d-0.1145679</p><p> 2. There is a Bedford Place in London near the British Museum, which I believe other fan fic writers referenced in their work. I'm going with that street as the Parker house, due to its proximity to UCL.<br/>https://www.google.com/maps/place/51%C2%B031'12.5%22N+0%C2%B007'28.4%22W/@51.5202826,-0.1243728,3a,75y,160.72h,88.13t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1saKlv5bzV9gULTDVhYf0eFQ!2e0!6shttps:%2F%2Fstreetviewpixels-pa.googleapis.com%2Fv1%2Fthumbnail%3Fpanoid%3DaKlv5bzV9gULTDVhYf0eFQ%26cb_client%3Dsearch.gws-prod.gps%26w%3D86%26h%3D86%26yaw%3D218.21138%26pitch%3D0%26thumbfov%3D100!7i16384!8i8192!4m14!1m7!3m6!1s0x48761b315bb6ad1f:0xa7dd98c123b7f741!2sBedford+Pl,+Holborn,+London,+UK!3b1!8m2!3d51.5202243!4d-0.1242894!3m5!1s0x48761b33e1c3cdbf:0x21d92a0c518803fc!7e2!8m2!3d51.5201395!4d-0.1245248</p><p>3. There is no undergraduate scholarship rotation at the Columbia dept of philosophy. I totally made that up.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you everyone for all the lovely birthday wishes! RPP did not deliver on my birthday wish of an announcement of S2, but I am pretty pleased with the leaked photos of Theo James with that big ass moustache. Wait, did you hear that sound? I think that was the sound of a thousand lady boners disappearing. </p>
<p>Anyhow, I have this week off, and was hoping to get this next part wrapped up in one chapter, but apparently I'm highly, exceedingly,  excessively, exceedingly verbose, so it will be split up. Have a good rest of the week!</p>
<p>P.S. Special thanks to Sidney's team (@SidneyTeam on Twitter) and HappyKapi (@kapi1619 on Twitter) for being subjected to my terrible jokes to pick a winner.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div>
  <p>Sidney walked Charlotte back to her flat, but not before suggesting they get some dinner. It was now too chilly and dark to eat outdoors, so she offered to have them eat in her tiny kitchen. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The furnishings were basic, reminding Sidney of his own first-year lodgings, but more colourful and sparse, like an Ikea, minus the good lighting. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What do you normally eat for dinner?” Charlotte asked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“This,” he gestured to the generic pasta, slightly embarrassed. “Or some other form of prepared food. I’m not a cook. The best I can do is bacon and eggs for breakfast. But I don’t have much patience for that, even. Do you cook?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Rarely,” Charlotte answered, taking a bite of her pasta. “I enjoy it, but it’s pointless for one person, and I don’t really have much of a kitchen, as you can see. Clara and I will sometimes go out, but recently she’s been working late.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Can you cook better than this?” he asked, with one side of his mouth curling up into a smile.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Anyone can cook better than this.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well, I’ll happily buy the ingredients next time, if you teach me.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte laughed at the notion. “I think Clara and I have maybe one pan between us, so I’m afraid that won’t work.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You can come to my house. I have a full kitchen with multiple pans,” he said laughing with her. “I don’t think I’ve used them once.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s rather pathetic, Sidney,” she gave him a condescending look. “And don’t give me crap about gender roles or abilities.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh that is definitely not what’s behind my lack of skill. I simply don’t have the patience and when I’m done making something, it’s terrible anyway.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So you are impatient, a bad cook and critical of crap food made by yourself but not others?” she teased.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He narrowed his eyes at her. “I have other strengths.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh? Such as?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He laughed loudly. His friends Babington and Crowe would be stunned at the level of restraint he was showing.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re making this too easy, Charlotte. Come on.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She blushed and he smiled at how cute it was when she was embarrassed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>They finished their food, and continued to chat. At some point, Sidney caught himself wanting to touch her hands, and feel her skin, and quickly checked the time. He better call it a night.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Since I didn’t get to brag about my strengths earlier, I’m really good at selecting wine and ice cream. So next time, I’ll get groceries, wine and dessert, if you teach me to cook. How’s that?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She looked pleased at the suggestion.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That sounds nice.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney rose, donned his jacket and wondered if she’d let him hug her, but as he was considering this, Clara came home, slightly drunk and froze in the doorway the moment she spotted him. She started to scream. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Who the hell are you?! Get the fuck out!” She nearly charged him, swinging her bag at his head, when Charlotte ran from across the room to stop her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Clara! Clara! Hey, take it easy!” Charlotte held her back, while Sidney backed away startled. “It’s ok. This is my friend, Sidney. Sidney, this is my flatmate Clara.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Bloody hell,” Sidney grimaced. “I mean, hello.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Clara looked at Charlotte and then at Sidney, confused. After a couple of seconds, she finally realized her error and burst out laughing.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry, I thought you were just some man that broke into our apartment!” She was now laughing hysterically. “Oh what a fool I am! It’s just that, you know, you don’t look like a student. And Charlotte never has guys over so I had no idea…”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Clara! That’s fine! No need to apologize further!” Charlotte tried to interject and glared at her, to stop her from saying anything even more embarrassing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh, right! Sorry, Charlotte! Yeah, well, nice meeting you,” she said as she quickly exited to hide in her room.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte was beet red, and speechless. As was Sidney.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>After an awkward ten seconds of silence, they laughed, and finally, Sidney spoke. “I think I better leave, before I get beaten up by your roommate. Thanks for coming out, Charlotte. I had a really nice evening.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was only then that Charlotte remembered the entire reason for their excursion was her rejection from the scholarship. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you for checking on me, and for making me feel better. And you are right, I’m not missing anything in New York.” She had a bittersweet expression, and reached out to give him a hug. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was the first time they intentionally touched one another, apart from him holding her up when she fell on him on the plane, and helping her out of the taxi. Amidst the surge of endorphins from feeling her body against his, he also felt proud, like he had done something important for her. And he felt something within him stir in anticipation, for there was now something - someone, rather - in his life that truly excited him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“THAT’S Sidney?!” Clara asked incredulously as they were both getting ready for bed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte blushed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes, that’s him.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Damn, Charlotte, I see why you connected so well when you met.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He’s just a friend, Clara.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah, a hot friend,” Clara smirked. “What was he doing here, at your flat, in the middle of the night?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s not the middle… oh,” Charlotte checked her watch and realized it was indeed, close to midnight. How had so much time passed? “He came by earlier to see if I was alright, and then we went for a walk to get food and came back here.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If you were alright? Is something wrong?” Clara’s expression turned from joking to concerned.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte sighed. “I didn’t get the scholarship.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh, no! You totally deserved that!”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It doesn’t matter.” Charlotte was disappointed, but no longer distraught. “I think I’m going to be just fine staying here in the fall.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well, <em>I’ll</em> be happy if you remain my roommate. I haven’t found a flat yet, but it’ll be a lot easier to afford a place if it’s the two of us.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’d like that. I guess we have just over a month to figure it out?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah, I think my friend James can help us with the move. He’s got a truck, and already offered.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte was skeptical. “He might change his mind when he realizes there are two people to move, instead of one.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh, no, James is such a nice guy. You’ll love him,” Clara reassured. “Hey, I’m sorry I nearly beat Sidney with my bag.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte laughed. “Ha! Well, at least I know I’m safe with you guarding the place.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s right. Nobody’s safe around me!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>As classes and work resumed, both Sidney and Charlotte found enough distraction in their routine. Sidney spent weekends in Sanditon with Tom, and saw Eliza occasionally. She was apparently caught up in her work and her office friends, who all seemed to work hard (12 hour days or longer) and play harder. They usually were drinking and dancing each night, until sometimes one or two in the morning. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney didn't care for that scene, nor could he afford to keep up with it, on a student’s budget, so most weekdays he was left to his own thoughts and company - which he realized he no longer found very compelling. </p>
  <p>Charlotte usually worked afternoons and evenings at a Brazilian coffee house not far from campus, close to the Warren Street tube station. Sidney wandered in a few minutes before closing one weeknight and was welcomed with a huge smile from her. She made him feel like a rock star just for walking through a door.</p>
  <p>"What are you doing here?" Charlotte asked excitedly, as she came over the greet him.</p>
  <p>"I don't cook, remember? I came to get something to eat."</p>
  <p>"Well, we're almost closed for the night. Want me to put in a takeout order?"</p>
  <p>"Will you put in an order for both of us and eat with me?" he asked.</p>
  <p>She grinned and gave him a nod. "Yes, and I'll even see if I can sneak us a couple of drinks."</p>
  <p>They walked back to Bedford Place, which was closer than Charlotte's flat, and ate their croquettes and burgers while watching a docudrama on the Roman Empire. Oddly, there were steamy sex scenes interspersed with academic commentary.</p>
  <p>"Oh, I should have checked the audience warnings in case there was anything inappropriate for kids," Sidney commented. </p>
  <p>Offended, Charlotte was about to start an argument when she saw him stifle a laugh, and realized he was teasing her. </p>
  <p>"You think so you're so hilarious, don't you!" she cried, smacking him on the arm. </p>
  <p>They met like this a couple times during the following week. Since they both had research or assignments for the following day, these dinners were pretty brief, but it gave them both time to relax in each other's company. These were the high points of their week, and they found themselves looking forward to each one.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>One afternoon, a familiar tone came through on Sidney's phone.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Babbers: <em>Sid, I can’t believe you’ve been back for so long, and we still haven’t seen you. </em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Crowe: <em>Do you still have a tan, or has that faded along with the post-holiday bliss now that you’re back?</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney: <em>Sorry guys, been a little preoccupied. Shall we meet up for a pint?</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Babbers: <em>Seven Stars? </em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Crowe: <em>See you there</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney: 👍</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The Seven Stars was their haunt from undergraduate days. It was an traditional establishment that claimed to be the oldest pub in London, though Sidney had no idea if that was true. The pub's cat jumped down off a bench just as Sidney walked in. William Babington and Frank Crowe were already there, halfway through their pints and cheering at whatever was on screen. When they saw Sidney approach, they gave him an appraising look. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re still looking pretty tan, Parker,” William commented. “Nice to see that you were able to retain some remnant of your holiday glow, if not the holiday mindset.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah, you’ve been oddly silent lately. What gives?” Frank asked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney exhaled, and gestured to the waitress for a pint. “Yeah, I’m going to need a drink in me before I can talk about that.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh shit, sounds serious, Sid,” Frank remarked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Just, you know, some existential crap,” Sidney answered.</p>
  <p>"Gross," Frank made a face.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You spend too much time with the academics, Sid,” William replied. “You dwell too much in your head.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s unfortunate, because it is a mess in there.” His pint arrived, and he took a deep drink.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You should take a look in mine,” Frank said sardonically.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>After loosening up from a round, the three men were ready to figure Sidney’s issues out.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So Eliza came back from Antigua without you. That couldn’t have been good,” William said.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It wasn’t, and I’m starting to wonder if this relationship is really working.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Frank pressed his lips together and looked off to the side. Frank and Eliza never got along.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>After a moment of thought, William bravely responded. “You have been with Eliza forever, Sid. It makes sense that you want a change.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Did something happen while you were out there?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“With Eliza? Not exactly.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“With someone else? Did you have a little tropical fling?” Frank joked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Er… no.” Sidney looked into his drink.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Whoa, you DID. You met someone else!” Frank leaned forward, intrigued, and Babbers grinned, joining in the ribbing.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It doesn’t matter, it’s a total non-starter,” Sidney said.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What do you mean? How did you meet?” William asked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I met her on the plane back from New York…”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“On the plane??” Frank and William both exclaimed loudly, grinning. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Congratulations, man!” Frank clapped him on the back.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No… not like that…” Sidney protested.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Both men groaned disappointedly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We were seated next to each other, and just struck up a conversation. I’ve seen her a few times since then, but it’s nothing. We’re just friends.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>William and Frank looked skeptically at each other.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Uh huh,” Frank said sarcastically. “That’s impossible, Sidney! Men and women can’t be friends.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What do you mean it’s impossible?” Sidney scoffed. “She’s at UCL and in philosophy. We just had a lot to talk about, and that was it.”</p>
  <p>"Look, Crowe, just because <em>you</em> can't be friends with a woman without wanting to shag her, doesn't mean it's impossible," William commented.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Right, that sounds boring,” Frank quipped. “But to be honest, you and Eliza have been boring for a long time now.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Harsh, man," Sidney frowned.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Do you disagree?” Frank asked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney thought for a moment, shook his head and the three laughed in response.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So you have more of a connection with this other woman...?” William continued.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Charlotte. Her name is Charlotte.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>William smirked. “Ok, so you have more in common with Charlotte, and you are obviously taken with her. So… are you thinking of breaking it off with Eliza?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>With a sigh, he said “I don’t know if there’s any point. Like I said, it’s a non-starter with Charlotte.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>William looked at him quizzically. “Why?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She is younger.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Frank picked up his drink. “How much younger?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well, she’s an undergraduate.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>William arched his eyebrow. “How much younger, Sid?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He exhaled. “She’ll be 18 in a couple months.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“OHHHH!” Frank and William both exclaimed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You mean, she’s currently 17. That’s seven years, Sidney!” William stated.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes, I have thought about that,” he answered with a grimace.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hot,” Frank muttered, prompting a laugh from William but a glare from Sidney. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s not that bad, Sid. I mean, you probably won’t even notice it - in like three or four years.” Babington was always the optimistic type. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I mean, technically there’s no reason for you to feel bad about it. It’s not, like, illegal or anything,” Frank offered. “In fact, there’s that whole genre of barely legal porn, so you know, you’re not an anomaly.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney forcefully brought his drink down. “Don’t make this in to something lurid, Crowe. That’s not what’s going on!” he barked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>There was a moment of stunned silence, and William and Frank glanced at each other concerned.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Wait, going back to Eliza,” William tried to steer the conversation into less treacherous territory. “Do you want to break it off with her?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t know what to do about her.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What do you mean?” Will asked. “I’d advise breaking up with her before starting anything with the new girl.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well, that’s the thing,” Sidney added. “I mean, Eliza and I have five years invested in this, and it just doesn’t seem right to give up on that.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But is it what you <em>want</em>?” Babbers cut to the quick.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney wiped his hand down his face. “I <em>thought</em> I did. I told her we would get engaged the next time we take a holiday together.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Frank groaned. “Don’t tell me you are hesitant because you told her that?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’d like to think I can keep my word.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But there’s no point in keeping it if you’re heart isn’t in it, is there?” Frank added. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney couldn’t think of a response. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well, at least there’s no rush,” William finally offered. “You have to do what you know to be right for yourself. Don’t do things just because you feel you have an obligation.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The three men took a moment to ponder this as they drank. Frank got up to use the toilet, and Sidney bent over to pet the cat who was rubbing her face on his legs. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sid, if you’re not happy with Eliza, staying together makes no sense. You’re not doing her any favors," William advised.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney looked up at William, and raised his glass. “Wise as always, Babbers.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Frank returned with another round. “So what’s going on with you and Esther, Babs?” he pivoted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>William's face lit up and he eagerly shared the latest in his pursuit of a woman who clearly had no interest in him. What Esther didn’t realize was that William, unlike Sidney, was happiest with a romantic challenge. Or maybe she enjoyed the chase as much as he did. Sidney smiled at the long forgotten thrill of the early stages of dating, now feeling inappropriately nostalgic for a man of 24 years.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You are lost, Babbers,” Frank said, and he and William both laughed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And I love it! Couldn’t be happier.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re definitely not one to go with the flow,” Frank added.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney glanced up at the coincidental phrasing, and then his eyes sank back down into the depths of his drink. He looked around to find the cat, but she had lost interest and walked away.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The following day, Sidney was sat on the couch, one eye watching some movie, one eye trying to read, but his mind entirely on the discussion with Babbers and Crowe. Tom was back, and rambling about the work they needed to do over the weekend in Sanditon. As if manifesting reality, his phone buzzed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Eliza: <em>Hi sweetie</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney: <em>Hi dear</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Eliza: <em>I’m afraid I can’t go with you next weekend to your parents.’ I have a benefit I need to attend </em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney: <em>Oh? Should I prep black tie or white tie?</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Eliza: <em>You don’t have to bother. This will be a bore for you and it’s the company table so dates aren’t really necessary.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney: <em>Oh, ok. So when will I see you?</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Eliza: <em>How about dinner on Sunday?</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney: <em>Ok</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Eliza: 👍</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Wow they really <em>were</em> boring, Sidney thought.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hey Tom?” Sidney called out from the couch.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What’s up?” Tom had his head stuck in the refrigerator. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think I’m going to skip the trip to Sanditon next weekend.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What? Why? We’re only weeks out from the regatta!”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney cycled through the channels on live tv, not looking for anything in particular but certain he didn’t like any of the offerings.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well, Eliza can’t make it, and I should really work more on my thesis,” he answered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tom stood up and looked disapprovingly at the back of Sidney’s head from the kitchen. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hm. Perhaps you can try to convince Eliza to bring her clients to the regatta, since you both are ditching me this weekend? You know, Dad could really use the fresh clientele.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney closed his eyes and inhaled a calming breath. “I’ll ask her.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Great! We’re fortunate she has such a great list of contacts. I mean, she's working with all the one percenters.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mhmm.” Sidney didn’t feel right about pressing Eliza for possible business, but if his father and Tom were to be believed, business was always done through personal connections. “I’ll try.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney: <em>Have you heard that research shows people need 3 pieces of material on their beds to sleep...</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte: <em>??</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney: <em>But that's just a blanket statement.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte: 🙄😒</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney: </p>
  <p>Charlotte: </p>
  <p>Sidney: <em>Ok, I've been writing all day, and I need to get dinner. Join me?</em></p>
  <p>Charlotte: <em>Sure. If you promise never to tell that joke again.</em></p>
  <p>Sidney: <em>Are you working?</em></p>
  <p>Charlotte: <em>Yes, and since it's Saturday, it'll  be busy up until closing. So no need to get here too early.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>He waited for Charlotte at the café until her shift was over. She brought back the unsold bread and pastries, and they walked to the store for additional ingredients to make a full meal. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte made a simple puttanesca sauce and pasta, and within a half hour they were ready to eat.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>They sat down to eat on the sofa in front of the tv and Sidney brought forth two glasses and a bottle of wine, but stopped short of pouring for her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m sorry, miss, do you have ID?” he teased.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh my god! You are in so much trouble, you dotard!” she laughed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“My, what an advanced vocabulary you have for a youngun!” he was grinning from ear to ear.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You think I never had to wrestle my older brothers? I am not afraid of you!” she challenged, as she stood up, ready to lunge.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What? Who said that?” Sidney set the bottle down, pretended to look around, and then looked down at Charlotte, who was a good head shorter than him. “Why it’s you! You’re the little twerp making all that noise!”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s it!” She lunged at him, tackling him as if they were in a rugby match, and Sidney laughed, his eyes widened in surprise, clearly not expecting Charlotte to follow through with her threat. In the scuffle, he managed to knock over a glass, which shattered on the floor.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte quickly stood back, flustered and embarrassed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m so sorry!” Her hands rose to cover her mouth, afraid he was going to tell her it was a family heirloom.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He looked at her with a tense and serious expression. “Detention for you, Miss Heywood!”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She gasped, then burst out laughing and tossed a roll at his chest. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They cleaned up the broken glass and water, and they finally sat down to eat. After much hesitation, Sidney asked the question he’d been thinking about since she told him her age. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So when <em>is</em> your birthday? I don’t want to get blamed for procuring alcohol for a minor.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“June 20th. And fortunately, that’s just after my exams, so I can celebrate  properly.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh, that’s two weeks after the regatta,” he said, his face lighting up. “So I can help you celebrate, since my weekends won’t be taken up by dreadful regatta promotion.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What does the promotion entail?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mostly listening to Tom and my dad drone on,” he said with resignation.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And is this what you’ll be doing after graduation?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hopefully less event planning, and more business development. My father takes it quite seriously, and he’s been grooming me and Tom to work as his partners eventually. I’d love to build something that I could pass on to my own children some day.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte paused to take a bite and think about what career she would wind up in after completing her degree. She assumed there would be opportunity in the world of public service, but she wasn’t really sure what that would involve. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What about your other siblings?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I guess they benefit from being the youngest,” he scoffed. “They seem to have no interest.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s the same in my family. My brothers are going to take over the farm from my parents, but my sisters and I probably won’t be involved. My parents always encouraged me to explore as far out of Willingden as I could. They said I could always go home, but I had a mind of the world and I should go out and explore it first. I guess that’s why I wanted to do that semester abroad so badly.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Would it be bad of me to say that I’m relieved you’re not?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte glanced up at him, and the look he gave her was sincere, and she looked down, feeling her face redden. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Are you?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Of course. Now I have a cooking instructor to teach me all sorts of things,” he teased.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Then you won’t have to eat out all the time.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But then I won’t have an excuse to come get you.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She laughed softly. “You don’t need an excuse.”</p>
  <p>He looked down awkwardly, thinking he should stop feeling what he was feeling.</p>
  <p>And yet, he didn't want to stop feeling it any longer.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He brought his hand down and placed it on top of hers. Her pulse started racing.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Charlotte?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She raised her eyes to look at him, but kept her face angled down, too shy to fully commit to the response her heart was already feeling. She was panicking, on the verge of exploding, and screaming internally. </p>
  <p>"Yes?"</p>
  <p>He leaned in to her, his full lips drawing her in. He tilted her chin up as he gently placed his lips on hers. Softly. Slowly. Like the moment of awakening. A gradual awareness that spread between them, like a sunrise breaking through the horizon.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>They opened their eyes. They said nothing, but their eyes continued, and it was clear there was so much more between them that when they kissed again, it was urgent and laden with emotion. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They paused for a moment of reflection, and pulled away from each other, both weighing their conflicting feelings.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sidney…”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No, but…”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m thinking it too.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What are you thinking?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Should we have done that?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She sat down and thought for a moment. “Does Eliza know you and I are friends?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No,” he exhaled. “I’ve hardly seen her since we got back and when I have, it wasn’t exactly a two-sided conversation.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte was quiet. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Eliza’s not the part that I’m worried about,” he added.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What do you mean?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He gave her a pained look. “You’re a lot younger than I am.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She looked annoyed. “Oh, this again.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes, wait, don’t dismiss me. It’s a concern. I’m in a different stage of life than you. You’ve just completed a year of university. I’m going into my final year of grad school. Then I’ll be working, and you’ll have your life at UCL.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She was surprised. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re thinking pretty far ahead, Sidney.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He half smiled. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said those things, but I can’t help it. I’m happy when we’re together, and I feel like I can be myself with you...”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He stopped and looked down, swallowing.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But?” she prompted.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>His dark eyes were intense, and for a moment, she was free falling, her heart beating so hard she could hear the throbbing in her ear drums.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I feel like I’ve been wandering and I’ve finally found home.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her breath halted and she pulled him in, desperate to feel his lips on hers again.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think I’ve felt that way too,” she answered when she finally broke from him. “Yet I didn’t think it was possible.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney’s mind was jumping back and forth between what he <em>wanted</em> to do and what he <em>had</em> to do, and there was no reconciliation. He felt anxious. He sank back into the sofa.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Charlotte, I’m so sorry, this wasn’t what I thought this evening was going to be like. In fact, I didn’t really even want to acknowledge what I was feeling.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She sighed and nodded. "I knew how I felt, but I was trying so hard to suppress it, and make my feelings go away.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I need some time to sort things out for myself,” he said hesitantly. Despite all he was feeling, he knew he couldn’t just cut ties with Eliza. There was so much history there, and it wasn’t going to be easy. “And I’m not sure how long it will take.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her heart stopped, and she felt her stomach clench tight.</p>
  <p>“I understand,” though Charlotte wasn’t sure she did understand. She barely understood how she herself felt. She certainly didn’t want to be Sidney’s side piece - she cringed at the thought of such a crass label - but then again, she didn’t want to lose any time with him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>In the end, her logic and conscience won, and she told him she wanted things clean if they were to start anything. If he was still involved with Eliza, then his relationship with Charlotte was a friendship and only a friendship.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>For Sidney, that was almost a relief to hear. Given that her birthday was still a few weeks away, he felt it would be less fraught for him if they waited until after to start anything. He knew she would think that pedantic, and so he kept it to himself.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think, if we are going to leave here as friends tonight, then maybe I had better go home now.” She said, with reluctant resolve.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll walk you back.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He took her arm in his and they walked back to her flat, taking the long way and making no effort to hurry. Finally, they reached her building. He walked her to the entrance, but stayed outside, knowing it would be too tempting to follow her into her flat.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Goodnight Charlotte. I’ll text you in the morning.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sidney?</p>
  <p>"Hm?"</p>
  <p>"I feel like I’ve found home too.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Here is the café I used as inspiration for Charlotte's workplace - Cafe Rio - and now I'm so hungry. https://www.instagram.com/caferiolondon/</p>
<p>There really is a Seven Stars Pub by LSE! Hard to tell if it’s a place where Sidney, Babbers and Crowe would hang out, but given the location and the name, it seemed fitting since that was the name of Sam Sidaway's place. Plus it has "Seven" in the name. And there really is a cat there, apparently. https://goo.gl/maps/SSz4eQbcNCoJNkiB6<br/>https://www.instagram.com/explore/locations/1015339768/seven-stars/</p>
<p>I’m slightly more intrigued by the establishment next door called “The Wig Box” which is only pictured on Google with the blinds drawn and no signage. If this story were Switch, I'm pretty sure Lady W hangs out there.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey, gorgeous readers! Before you read this chapter, you did read the intro before Chapter 1, right? If so, you're clear that there is some angst to this story. Just making sure.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>Sunday evening, Tom and Mary returned from Sanditon to find Sidney lying on the sofa, staring at the ceiling, waiting for Eliza. She was running late, as usual, but this time, he was grateful. He’d been dreading this dinner since he left Charlotte the night before.</p><p>“Hey Sidney, are you alright?” Mary asked as soon as she saw him. It was unlike him to mope. </p><p>“What’s wrong with you? Didn’t you have a relaxing weekend, not coming to Sanditon?” Tom was still irritated that Sidney was shirking his obligations with the family business. He nearly blew up when he saw him lolling around, while he and Mary spent their weekend dealing with regatta planning. </p><p>Typical. Tom always had to spend his time supporting their father’s work, while Sidney, being the younger brother, got to sit back and live his own life. Sidney always had it so much easier. Better looking, more athletic, he was naturally the Parker brother that all the kids gravitated toward in school, despite being three years younger. Sidney showed early promise in swimming and excelled in competition with the junior rowing club. He became a bit of a school star, after the club brought back cup after cup from the regional regattas. </p><p>Meanwhile, Tom was cooped up every weekend with their father, schmoozing with clients and learning about property development. He missed parties, concerts, and the school formal. Even the youngest Parker siblings had better social lives than Tom.</p><p>But once he left for university, Tom flourished on his own, leveraging all the sales tricks he learned from his dad to win loads of friends, and finally, he came into his own ego. </p><p>Now as adults, Sidney was still the handsome brother with the model girlfriend - but Tom was the one who had their father’s ear. And both of them knew it.</p><p>“I’m fine, thanks. And I didn’t sit around ‘relaxing,’ Tom,” Sidney answered.</p><p>“Oh good,” Tom said sarcastically. “Because I told Dad you were bringing Eliza’s high roller clients to the regatta.”</p><p>“What?! Why did you tell him that?” Sidney sat up and shot Tom a look. “I didn’t say I <em>would</em>. I said I would <em>try</em>.” </p><p>“Come on, Sidney. You should be thanking me, I set you up to deliver an easy win to Dad. You’re going to the regatta anyway. Just bring Eliza and her clients.”</p><p>“Tom, you don’t know what’s going on with me and Eliza, so just stay out of it!” Sidney spat. “She’s supposed to be here any moment, so I’d appreciate if you stopped talking about this bullshit.”</p><p>“If you say so, brother,” Tom sneered and walked off. If Sidney wanted to disappoint their father again, that was his problem. Mary gave Sidney an apologetic look, but followed Tom upstairs. </p><p>Sidney sank back down on the sofa, and sighed. For a moment he considered postponing his talk with Eliza until after the regatta, but that didn’t feel right. When she finally arrived, Sidney quickly escorted her out to prevent Tom from cornering her about her clients.</p><p> </p><p>They went to one of Eliza’s favourite restaurants, The Ivy Asia London. Sidney wasn’t sure if she liked it more for the food or for the interior ’s high level of “Instagramability.” They sat beneath a canopy of pink cherry blossoms of a fake indoor tree bursting out of a lit floor of jade green geodes. The place was a spectacle, and he could see why Eliza liked to bring her clients here.</p><p>She was chatty this evening, and told story after story of her business trip and the benefit ball. It was difficult for him to stay engaged, given he spent more time with academics than those in the business world. He was happy that she was happy, yet it was glaringly obvious he did not have much to contribute. At least she seemed to have stopped bugging him about engagement rings.</p><p>After dinner, they walked back to Eliza’s flat. She seemed agitated.</p><p>“Sidney, there’s something I want to talk about.”</p><p>They stopped outside the entrance to her building.</p><p>“I think we need to take some time apart.”</p><p>His brow knit together, and he looked down at her, shocked.</p><p>“I feel like we are drifting apart. Our lives are just so different now, and it feels like we have less and less in common.” Eliza’s eyes were welling with tears. </p><p>Eliza went on about how they didn’t understand each other, how she felt like he was a stranger, but the part that caused her to cry uncontrollably was that she realized she gave up her modeling career for their relationship and that she felt that he never appreciated the sacrifice she made.</p><p>Sidney was gobsmacked. While he was trying to figure out how to end their relationship, Eliza beat him to the punch. And she laid the blame directly at his feet. His throat clenched.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Eliza, I had no idea I took that from you.” He thought back to their discussions at the time when she decided to come back to London. She seemed so indifferent at the time. Now he wondered if he was too self-centered to have noticed.</p><p>“Sidney, I don’t want to point fingers. There’s no use for that now.”</p><p>They both shed tears, and in the end, they gave each other a last embrace and parted ways.</p><p> </p><p><br/>“What??” Tom and Mary exclaimed the following morning at breakfast, when Sidney delivered the news. </p><p>“We both knew it was time,” Sidney answered, his voice devoid of emotion.</p><p>“I thought you were close to proposing, Sidney. You were just talking about that when we were all at Georgiana’s wedding,” Tom said, perplexed.</p><p>“Well, it’s a good thing it never came to that,” Sidney said. While he knew things weren’t right with Eliza, he felt like a failure. Not only did he fail the relationship, but he failed Eliza. He contributed to another person’s unhappiness - someone he loved. Now he was free to pursue a relationship with Charlotte, but given her age, was he going to ruin her happiness too? Was she going to change her future for him?</p><p>“The irony is that I was thinking of ending it, and then she actually broke up with me. </p><p>“Oh Sidney, I’m so sorry…” Mary said, sympathetically. “It sounds like it was for the best, then.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, brother.” </p><p>Sidney could tell Tom was holding something back, and he was glad. He was in no mood to hear any lecturing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sidney sat at a table at the Seven Stars, waiting for Babbers and Crowe. He felt a final post-game analysis would be necessary put some closure to the end of an era.</p><p>He was halfway through his own pint when they showed up.</p><p>“Getting an early start, Parker? Must have been a rough week,” Frank said as they sat down, gesturing to the waitress for drinks for the two.</p><p>“Eliza broke up with me.”</p><p>“Whoa, that’s not what I expected you to say,” William said, his face surprised and confused.</p><p>“Yes. It’s true. Evidently, she’s been feeling like we have been drifting apart for a while, and she said she was pretty upset at having to move back to London and giving up her modeling career.”</p><p>Frank snorted. “Is that what she told you?”</p><p>The other two looked at him.</p><p>“And what do you mean by that, Crowe?” Sidney asked pointedly.</p><p>“Nothing.”</p><p>“Well you wouldn’t have said it, if there was nothing behind it,” Sidney probed.</p><p>“I don’t trust that is the real reason.” </p><p>William kicked Frank under the table.</p><p>Sidney’s face darkened. “You two know something, don’t you?”</p><p>They looked at each other and said nothing.</p><p>“I don’t know who you’re protecting, but evidently, it’s not me,” Sidney said, clearly getting angrier.</p><p>William took a gulp of his ale and breathed in deeply. He leaned in, and spoke in hushed tones. “A few of the other junior associates at my company happen to belong to the same club as Laurence Campion.”</p><p>“Should I know who that is?” Sidney shrugged.</p><p>“He’s Malcolm Campion’s son. The billionaire banker guy,” Frank added.</p><p>“Evidently, he is Eliza’s client. They’ve been seen together a lot.”</p><p>Sidney was quiet, and looked into his hands.</p><p>“I take it you mean they’ve been seen together as a couple.”</p><p>William cleared his throat. “That is my understanding.”</p><p>“So you haven’t seen them yourself?” Sidney asked him.</p><p>“<em>He</em> hasn’t,” Frank said. “But I have.”</p><p>“What??” Sidney clenched his teeth. “What did you see, exactly?”</p><p>Frank bit his lips, and answered in a low voice. “I saw them leaving the Ivy Asia. They were holding hands, and when they got into a taxi, they were kissing.”</p><p>Sidney pounded his fist into the table, creating a hush among the tables in the pub. He fixed his gaze on his own fist and glowered. When people resumed their discussion, he looked up at the other two.</p><p>“Fuck Crowe, why didn’t you tell me?!” Sidney ran his hands over his face and into his hair.</p><p>“I had planned to, Sid,” Frank insisted. “It was while you were still in Antigua, and I was ready to tell you when we were last here. But then you said you were going to end things, so I thought maybe you already knew.”</p><p>Sidney looked at Babbers. “You knew too?!”</p><p>“I didn’t know until after we saw you. Frank told me later, and then I heard some of the lads in the office talking about Campion and so I asked who they were talking about, and they confirmed it was Eliza.”</p><p>“Man, we’re really sorry. Babbers and I said if you were still together, we would tell you today.”</p><p>Sidney sat back. His jaw tightening. He downed the rest of his drink and called for another. He looked around for the cat, hoping the creature could help calm him down, but she was curled up in the lap of the pub owner, who sat chatting easily with some customers.</p><p>“Hey Sid,” William reached out and put his hand on Sidney’s shoulder. “Look, you’re out of it and that’s what matters. And now you’re free to go after Charlotte.”</p><p>“Ah yes, that sounds much more enticing,” Frank commented. “And a great way to get back at Eliza.”<br/>Sidney scowled. “I don’t want to use Charlotte to get back at Eliza.”</p><p>“That is incredibly civilized of you, Parker, but if you did, it’d be ok by us,” William said into his pint.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Charlotte didn’t hear from Sidney for several days, and the anxiety was crushing. When she finally couldn’t take it any more, she sent him a text.</p><p><br/>Charlotte: <em>I’m worried you’ve starved to death.<br/><br/></em></p><p>Moments later, her phone buzzed.</p><p>“Hi.”</p><p>“Sorry, I’ve been wrapped up in some things,” Sidney answered.</p><p>“Is everything ok?”</p><p>After a long pause, Sidney replied, “Yes. Eliza and I have ended things.”</p><p>Charlotte didn’t know what to say. She was elated - and she felt selfish for that, knowing it could not have been easy for Sidney to break up a five year relationship. </p><p>“I see. Are you alright?” She tried to be neutral yet supportive.</p><p>“Yes, but I need to be honest and tell you that I’m trying to deal with the aftermath, and start with a clean slate.” As pleased as Sidney was to be able to see Charlotte without feeling disloyal, he was still hurt and angry about Eliza and her client. He knew it shouldn't matter, but it was gnawing at him. He thought back and overanalyzed every interaction he had with Eliza in the past few months, and all the signs were there, but he was oblivious. He looked up Laurence Campion, and searched Eliza's social media accounts for any pictures of them together, but he found nothing. He noticed she hadn't posted anything in three months. Knowing that Eliza's infidelity was the topic of gossip among people he didn't even know was humiliating, and he couldn't stop himself from obsessing.</p><p>Charlotte didn’t know what he meant by dealing with the aftermath, but perhaps there were photos to remove or clothes to return. When Charlotte broke up with her ex-boyfriend, it took weeks for her to get back her jumper she had left in his car. Maybe that’s what he meant.</p><p>“Are you upset with me?” she asked, tentatively.</p><p>“No, of course not. But I regard you too highly to drag you into what I’m going through right now.”</p><p>“I think if you <em>didn’t</em> have some bad feelings following the end of a five year relationship, that would be unusual. You don’t need to explain everything, but if you need someone, I’m here.”</p><p>“Thank you.” </p><p>There was an awkward pause.  He wondered if she ever had a relationship in which she loved someone. He wondered if anyone had ever cheated on her. Or if she had cheated on anyone.</p><p>“Charlotte, are <em>you</em> upset with <em>me</em>?” He turned the question back on her.</p><p>“Why would you think that?”</p><p>“I guess I want to make sure you are not feeling ... pressured into anything.”</p><p>“Pressure? From you?”</p><p>“Er, yes.”</p><p>“I was the one that texted you.”</p><p>He laughed. “Yes, I guess I have been distant lately.”</p><p>“Sidney? Are you having regrets about kissing me?”</p><p>“No! That’s not what I’m saying.”</p><p>“Then explain yourself. Because I’m starting to feel like you are, and that’s why you were avoiding me.”</p><p>“I’m not avoiding you,” he insisted, though he was. Not avoiding <em>her</em>, specifically, but avoiding having to explain what happened with Eliza. And also, he was avoiding taking the relationship with Charlotte in a direction he couldn’t reverse. “I don’t want you to change anything you’re doing because of me.”</p><p>“Um, I’m not," she answered puzzled. "I still have to take my exams and finish my semester assignments.”</p><p>He laughed to himself. Of course she would be thinking in the short term.</p><p>“Ok, as long as I’m not getting in the way of anything.” Considering she was only one year into university, she wouldn't be making any decisions about her career any time soon.</p><p>“Sidney, what are you on about? You aren’t 'in the way.' <em>You</em> are where I want to be.”</p><p>He felt his chest swell, and he smiled broadly, even though she couldn’t see. </p><p>“Do you want to meet for dinner tonight?” he asked, relieved.</p><p>“I was hoping you’d ask. After my shift tonight?”</p><p>“I’ll be there.”</p><p>He met her at the café and found Charlotte had already ordered specials for them, and had permission from the owner for them stay after closing. As they finished their food and cleared away the plates, Sidney asked if she was still interested in attending the regatta.</p><p>"Of course!"</p><p>He smiled. "But your exams are the week after, aren't they?"</p><p>"I'll be sure to get my work done beforehand then."</p><p>"I'm afraid I'll have to go early, with my brother and his fiancée, since the family has quite a few obligations."</p><p>"I'm fine taking the train. I can follow directions. Just let me know when and where." </p><p>He walked her back to her flat, and Charlotte was disappointed that he gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek. She held on to the lapel of his jacket, but he gave her a smirk and said, "I'm so looking forward to your birthday."</p><p>She gave him a resigned expression. "As am I."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><br/>Sidney texted her to meet him at the boathouse at 11. Charlotte stepped off the train and looked around, wondering if she really should have come. There was so much work to do before Monday and she still hadn’t finished her paper for Early Modern Philosophy. </p><p>Sidney said there would be shuttles to the regatta, but she noticed a number of people who looked like spectators walking en masse in one direction. So she followed the flow, and shortly, she could hear the sounds of a band, crowds surrounding what looked like a street festival, and a cluster of food trucks.</p><p>She looked around and found the only building that could be the boathouse. Luckily, there was clear signage, and Charlotte found the small espresso kiosk next to it. There was no sign of Sidney, but checking her phone, she was still a bit early. She waited in line for a double espresso, and wandered along the path beside the river to kill time.</p><p>The town was quaint and touristy, and the regatta was less of an official sporting event than a showpiece for the town. She recalled Sidney mentioned he rowed in school, and wondered why he wasn't competing. </p><p>By the time she finished her coffee and walked back, it was 11, and still she saw no glimpse of him. After ten minutes, she sent a text.</p><p><br/>Charlotte: <em>Hey I made it! I’m here at the kiosk. Ping me when you’re close</em></p><p><br/>She waited for awhile longer, and eventually found a bench nearby where she could sit and read. She didn’t want to wander too far off, in case he were to show up. She supposed he would just text or call, but on the off chance that he didn’t have his phone, she didn’t want to miss him. Initially, the noise of the crowd and constantly looking up to check if he was approaching made it difficult to study. She ended up re-reading the same paragraph over the course of a quarter of an hour. </p><p><br/>Charlotte: <em>I’m on the bench to the right of the boathouse catching up on some reading, if in case you don’t see me.</em></p><p><br/>It was 20 past, and she was getting irritated. She turned up the volume on her phone and tucked it into her shirt pocket so she wouldn’t miss any alerts. She opened Plato’s Republic, and picked up where she left off on the train.</p><p>After another 15 minutes, she’d barely read a page, and checked her phone again. Nothing.</p><p>She decided to phone him and see if he’d been held up somewhere.</p><p>No answer.</p><p>“Hey Sidney, it’s Charlotte. I’m here at the boathouse. Not sure if you got my texts, but let me know what’s up.”</p><p>She sent him direct messages on Twitter, FaceBook, WhatsApp just in case for some reason texts and calls weren’t going through.</p><p>She was hungry now, and the espresso had just made her cranky. The first heats were about the begin, so much of the crowd had migrated to the riverfront to watch. </p><p>“Is there another boathouse in Sanditon?” she asked the coffee vendor. </p><p>He laughed. “Uh, no, Sanditon is pretty small, and the boathouse is probably the largest facility on the river.”</p><p>“Hm. I’m supposed to meet someone in front of the boathouse. Could I possibly have the location wrong? Is there also a café or bar called The Boathouse?”</p><p>“Not that I’m aware of. This is the only area in town with any real commerce, so I doubt anything new has sprung up that I haven’t heard of.”</p><p>She checked her phone to see what else was around. Not a lot. She wandered to one of the food trucks and ordered some chips and returned to her bench. </p><p><br/>It had been over an hour, and finally she accepted that he wasn’t coming. She checked the train schedule and saw the next train to London was in 15 minutes. If she walked quickly, she would still make it back and have time to finish her term paper and get a couple of hours of studying in for her exams. </p><p>Charlotte: <em>I hope everything is ok, Sidney. I don’t know what to do or who to get in touch with to check if you’re alright. Please call me. </em></p><p>Two hours later, she was back at her flat and still there was no word from Sidney. </p><p>“Hey, how was the regatta?” Clara called out from her room. “I thought you’d be back later.”</p><p>“Um, it was alright. I wanted to come back early because I was freaking out about my exam.”</p><p>Clara sensed something was off there, but she didn’t pry. They both had exams to prepare for so taking a full day off for a trip to the sea seemed pretty irresponsible - even to Clara.</p><p>Charlotte put her headphones on, and tried to drown out her thoughts with music for concentration. When that didn’t work, she tried nature sounds. That didn’t work either, and finally she found a YouTube video of ambient plane cabin noises, which allowed her to subconsciously travel back to that moment when she and Sidney had met. With that, she managed to focus on her final exams.</p><p>By the time she looked up from her work, four hours had past. She made herself a cup of instant noodles, and scrolled through social media while she ate to see if there was anything from Sidney. He hadn’t posted anything, and no one had tagged him in anything either. It was all very odd, and while she was definitely worried, she didn’t know any of his friends to even check to make sure he wasn’t lying dead in a ditch somewhere.</p><p>She slept poorly, and for the first time in weeks, woke up before her alarm. Checking her phone, there were no texts or calls. She laid in her bed, opened FaceBook and checked Sidney’s page, and saw there were new posts in which Sidney was tagged. </p><p>They were all from the Sanditon Times account. </p><p>“Men from the Parker family join in an impromptu exhibition at the annual Sanditon Regatta.” Sidney was pictured in a boat with what must have been his father, and two brothers Tom and Arthur.</p><p>“Local team takes first place at annual regatta. Pictured here are the Parker siblings Tom, Diana, Sidney and Arthur, with parents Alicia and Philip, presenting the trophy and prize check to the winners.”</p><p>In both photos, Sidney was unsmiling and distant. But he was definitely alive and well.</p><p>Finally, there was a photo of a beautiful blond woman, flanked by Sidney on one side and another man on the other. “Local Parker family member Sidney Parker with Eliza Montgomery, and Laurence Campion, son of billionaire Malcolm Campion at the VIP cabana.”</p><p>Charlotte stared. Her breath quickened. She threw her phone down, and felt tears roll out the sides of her eyes and down into her hair. She cried harder than she did when she got rejected from the New York rotation, and definitely harder than when broke up with her ex.</p><p>After two hours of staring and crying, she got out of bed - and stopped thinking about Sidney Parker.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The Ivy Asia looks so pretty! Check it out:<br/>https://www.instagram.com/theivyasiastpauls/<br/>https://www.instagram.com/explore/locations/111595856899078/the-ivy-asia-st-pauls/</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My break is over so it's back to the grind 🙃. I probably won't be able to write as much during the week, so I'm really glad that I at least was able to get this part of the story.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The day before the Regatta, Tom, Mary and Sidney drove to Sanditon in preparation for the events of the weekend. Sidney wished he could bring Charlotte instead of letting her take the train, but he knew she had exams and didn’t want to interfere with her studying.</p><p>He still hadn’t mentioned Charlotte to his family. He knew they would have unfair opinions since all of them knew Eliza for years and had just vacationed with her in Antigua. And he was also self-conscious about what they would say once they found out about the age gap between them. He figured introducing them at the regatta would be a good time, since everyone was going to be too preoccupied to scrutinize her.</p><p>And naturally, he was grateful Eliza broke up with <em>him</em> so that he didn’t have to invite her to the regatta for potential clients for his dad. Of course, he was never going to invite her anyhow, regardless of what Tom told their father.</p><p>Tom and Mary were silent for most of the drive. Mary seemed a bit agitated, and Sidney concluded they must have argued before getting into the car. Tom wasn’t his usual talkative self with Sidney, and that was just fine. It enabled Sidney to take a nap for most of the trip.</p><p>As they arrived at Trafalgar House, the Parker home for generations, Sidney decided to break the news about Charlotte.</p><p>“By the way, I’ve got a friend joining me tomorrow for the events. So I’ll be away for a bit mid-day to meet her. It shouldn’t interfere with the schedule.”</p><p></p><div>
  <p>Mary and Tom looked uneasily at each other. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Who’s your friend, Sidney?” Tom asked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He paused for a second. “Her name is Charlotte. Don’t worry, you won’t need to play host.” Sidney opened the door and walked ahead.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Tom…” Mary urged in a low voice. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not now, Mary, let’s go in and say hello, at least.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sidney! So happy to see you, sweetheart,” Mrs. Parker came rushing to hug her son. “Are you doing alright dear? We’re still so sad about you and Eliza.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hi Mum, you don’t need to feel bad. I’m fine, and it’s much better this way,” he said curtly. He told his parents about the break up a couple of days after it happened, and similar to Tom and Mary, they were shocked. Mr. Parker in particular was disappointed; he was hoping for a fortuitous union between their two established families. Sometimes Sidney wondered if his parents liked Eliza better than him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>His mother greeted Tom and Mary, and then pulled them all close.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Your father’s in quite a state about tomorrow’s photo op,” she said in a low voice.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What photo op?” Sidney asked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh, the exhibition race first thing in the morning,” Tom replied. “You missed the details since you haven’t been coming for the weekend preparations. Sorry, I forgot to tell you.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney’s jaw clenched. Of course. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Who’s racing?” he asked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh, your dad and all you boys,” Mrs. Parker said. “Tom, you really should have prepped Sidney!” she scolded.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’ve got to be kidding me. Dad hasn’t been in a boat in years.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She gave him a knowing look. “That’s part of the reason for his agitation. You’ll be racing against some members of the trade union.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What?! That is a terrible idea!” Sidney covered his face in his hands. “Didn’t anyone think of the optics of that? The Parker family against the ‘labourers’ would be a humiliating classist metaphor! Should I wear my top hat and monocle?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh stop exaggerating, Sidney!” Mary laughed, trying to lighten the mood. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s an old tradition that we thought would be good fun to revive,” Tom added, and shot him a challenging look. “It is too bad you weren’t here to object when we were planning it. It’s too late now.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney pushed past them and headed toward his old room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh, Sidney, sorry dear,” Mrs. Parker called out after him. “Your father’s been storing a few things in your room. We didn’t think you’d mind.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney opened the door, and found his old space packed floor to ceiling with crates of old books and papers. His bed was covered with bags of old clothes and assorted dust-covered detritus. Evidently, his father was digging around in the attic, looking for old things from generations past. Sidney’s desk had been cleared, and a model of a new town shopping center took up the entire surface. His old photos and awards that used to hang on the wall were replaced by plans of apartment buildings and layouts. His trophies and books were piled in a box in the corner.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>His mother appeared at his door.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh dear, it’s quite a mess in here, isn’t it?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney didn’t reply and sat at his old desk chair, the only free spot in the room.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Let me get your father and see if he can clear his things. Philip!” she called up the stairs.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don’t worry about it, mother. I’m fine.” He wasn’t.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Arthur and Diana popped their heads in the door.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sidney! Enjoying the new décor?” Arthur laughed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Dad’s been beavering in the attic again,” Diana rolled her eyes. “There’s dust everywhere! My allergies are killing me.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I bet,” Sidney grumbled, getting up to greet them with an embrace. “I’m surprised you all haven’t broken out in hives.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh I did! I’ve had to see the allergist for shots twice this month!” Diana exclaimed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So what’s this I hear about a ridiculous race, Arthur?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh right, about that,” Arthur said turning red. “I’m going to apologize in advance for my performance. It’s not going to be pretty.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re going to row? You’ve always been coxswain! Oh, don’t tell me Dad is going to cox,” Sidney said apprehensively.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Arthur laughed. “He’s claiming his sciatica is bothering him, so he’s not rowing.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh for fuck’s sake…”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Diana sighed. “It was never going to be a fair match anyway.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You don’t say?” Sidney scoffed. “The Parkers versus the builders? I wonder which lot is more physically fit?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hey! What are you implying? I worked out last month,” Arthur objected.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well, that’s fine. It would have been bad P.R. if we won our own tournament.” Sidney looked around, frowning at the loss of his space.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sidney! So glad you could make it,” Mr. Parker's tall frame filled the doorway.</p>
  <p>"Oh, Arthur, maybe we should help mum with dinner?" Diana said hurriedly, and the two of them scurried away.</p>
  <p>“Sorry about the boxes, son. Figured you wouldn’t mind since you’re not here very often.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I was just here a few weeks ago,” Sidney protested, but his father was already distracted, entering the room to admire the model on Sidney’s desk. “Isn’t it beautiful, Sidney?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It looks to be pretty expansive,” he observed. “I didn’t know there was another development in progress.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh, yes!” his father got an excited look in his wide eyes and Sidney knew he was committed to at least 30 minutes of his father rambling on about real estate. He understood why his brother and sister took off so quickly. Evidently the new venture was going to be a joint project with the Lambes, and they were actively trying to find big name investors to help fund the development. </p>
  <p>"This is why we're stepping up the events tomorrow - to appeal to big investors," Mr. Parker said knowingly. </p>
  <p>"Right, you mean the race I just found out about."</p>
  <p>"Oh you have nothing to worry about, you are my secret weapon. You're the rowing champ! Don't be too critical of the rest of us Parkers, though," he laughed, putting a reassuring hand on Sidney's shoulder. "But I do expect you to make us look good."</p>
  <p>"Well, it'd be hard for me to be critical as I haven't been in a boat in six months." He was now grateful Charlotte wasn't coming until later in the day, when she wouldn't have to see this disaster of a race.</p>
  <p>"Get a good night's rest. We need to show up at 8 for the photographers."</p>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The morning of the regatta, the Parker men made their way down to the river early to prepare for the opening ceremony and the race. As the brothers prepped in their boat for the photographers, Sidney sat in silence, irritated at the showiness of the event. Mr. Parker had caps and shirts made, but apart from that, they were ill-prepared. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Parker boys! It’s the first instance of the Parker family team rowers! Let’s go strong and show them who’s boss!” Mr. Parker enthused.</p>
  <p>Sidney grimaced at the wording.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The opponents were equally unprepared and cavalier about the race. One was even wearing jeans, but it didn’t matter.  Sidney zipped up his jacket, tucking his phone into the inside pocket. All of this was an elaborate spectacle. There was even an old fashioned cannon to fire to start the race. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When the blast went off, the two boats were suddenly on the move, but the Parkers stalled out as the brothers failed to establish an initial rhythm. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Come on, boys! Get it together!” Mr. Parker screamed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>There was much grunting and huffing, and finally they were able to get their oars in sync. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Tom, put a little muscle into it! Arthur, breathe!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They didn’t do much better once their oars were in sync. Fortunately, neither did the opposition, and the end was not too embarrassing. They lost, but only by the length of a boat. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ah, unlucky, boys. We’ll get them next time…” Mr. Parker groaned. </p>
  <p>There was a brief ceremony for the all-important photo op in the VIP tent by the finish line, where Mrs. Parker and Diana joined them, and together, the family presented the trophy to other team and posed for photos. They shook hands with the union members, while Mr. Parker made comments about the history of the regatta, trying to squeeze in any opportunity to promote the new development.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sidney!” a familiar woman's voice called out. He turned around. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Oh for fuck’s sake.</p>
  <p>Eliza was walking towards them with an older man and the man that Sidney recognized from his obsessive Google searching - Laurence Campion.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What the hell is Eliza doing here?” he seethed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh,” Tom said, suddenly hesitant. “I took the liberty of inviting Eliza and her clients. I figured you probably weren’t going to follow up on that, hope you don't mind. I made sure they have space in the VIP tent.”</p>
  <p>“What?!” Sidney turned and glared at his brother. “You invited Eliza? And... Laurence Campion?!” He could barely get the words out.</p>
  <p>Tom turned to him and whispered excitedly, "Sidney, I'm sorry, but Eliza really delivered! It's <em>Malcolm Campion</em> and his son.”</p>
  <p>Sidney’s face flashed with rage and he shook his head.</p>
  <p>“Shit, Tom you have no idea what you've done." Sidney's face darkened as Eliza and the Campions approached. He noticed Laurence had a smug look and was making his way straight for Sidney.</p>
  <p></p>
  <div>
    <p>Sidney felt a hand on his back. He looked over his shoulder at his father, who gave him a sympathetic smile. </p>
    <p>"Son, I know this is probably uncomfortable for you, but I really appreciate you putting family first."</p>
    <p>Yet another day when Sidney would have to be the responsible brother and suffer through his own pain. Sidney exhaled through his teeth and tried to regain composure.</p>
    <p>“Eliza,” Sidney greeted her, as she joined them. “Honestly, I’m surprised you came. I thought you hated the regatta.”</p>
    <p>“Actually, I wouldn’t have but the Campions love rowing, so when Tom reached out, I thought it would be nice to see your family at least one more time." Eliza smiled sweetly. </p>
    <p>Sidney did not return the smile, his eyes assessing Eliza's face, wondering if she felt any regret or awareness of his extreme humiliation.</p>
    <p>"And you brought your new... client?"</p>
    <p>"Er... Sidney, I..." she stammered.</p>
    <p>“Eliza, thank you for coming!” Sidney's father interrupted. He then lowered his voice. “I know this can’t be comfortable, but I am so grateful and glad that you are both mature enough to put aside differences for our mutual interests.” He shot his son a stern look.</p>
    <p></p>
    <div>
      <p>"Of course, Philip. You've always been so kind to me and my family, how could I not return the sentiment?" Eliza could smile through anything. "Allow me to introduce Mr. Malcolm Campion and his son Laurence Campion." </p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>“You’re Sidney, right? I’ve heard of you through Eliza.” Laurence Campion sneered. He was about Sidney’s height but paler and thinner, and probably in his late 20s.</p>
      <p>Sidney said nothing, but Tom and their father immediately jumped in to shake hands and welcomed them to the event. The rest of the family was also introduced, and awkwardly greeted Eliza and her guests. Sidney finally shook hands, but immediately excused himself after posing for the requisite pictures. </p>
      <p>"Tom, Arthur, can you help me get our things from the boat?" </p>
      <p>As they walked away from the others, Sidney spoke in a lowered voice. </p>
      <p>"That man with Eliza - Laurence - she was cheating on me with him."</p>
      <p>Tom and Arthur both stopped. </p>
      <p>"What?!" they both exclaimed, horrified.</p>
      <p>"Sidney, why didn't you tell us?" Tom asked.</p>
      <p>Sidney turned on his heel and said angrily, "And say what? My ex-girlfriend blames me for ruining her career and now she's making me a fool in front of London's rich and famous? I'm sure Dad would love to hear that."</p>
      <p>"But surely we can't do business with someone who's treated you like this?" Arthur cried.</p>
      <p>"Sidney, if I had known, I would never... I'm so sorry," Tom said, his face pained.</p>
      <p>"I don't give a shit about Eliza any more, but that arsehole better wipe that smirk off his face. Whatever. What's done is done." He pushed past Tom and glared. "Dad's practically salivating over them."</p>
      <p>"Oh Sidney," Arthur was nervously looking back at the tent. "What are we going to do? They're here all day, and we're supposed to play the host. This is disastrous."</p>
      <p>As they gathered their oars from the boat, in his agitated state, Arthur spun around, smacking Sidney in the side with his oar, and knocked him into the water.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh no! Sidney! Damnit!” Arthur called out. Sidney bobbed up, gasping in surprise. Tom and Arthur hoisted him out of the water. Arthur frantically apologized, as Mrs. Parker and Diana came running over with towels.</p>
  <p>“Are you alright, Sidney?” Diana handed him a towel, as Sidney cursed under his breath.</p>
  <p>"I'm so sorry, Sid!" Arthur grimaced.</p>
  <p>"It's alright, Arthur. I've fallen in countless times when I was in the rowing club." He then let a frustrated yell, when he realized he had his phone inside his now saturated jacket.</p>
  <p>"Sidney, dear, are you hurt?" his mother fretted. </p>
  <p>“I’m fine, but my fucking phone is ruined!” Sidney groaned as he pulled his phone from his pocket.</p>
  <p>“Sidney! Language!” Mrs. Parker scolded.</p>
  <p></p>
  <div>
    <p>“Sorry, mum, but first Eliza shows up, and now this. I'm having a shit day.” He was soaked through all his clothes, and dripping everywhere. Christ, now how was he going to get in touch with Charlotte when she arrived? His father approached the group, having heard the splash.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Sidney, get cleaned up. There are dry clothes in the car,” he said in a matter-of-fact tone.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“I need to go back to the house,” Sidney barked angrily. Perhaps he could get a message to Charlotte via Facebook or something.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“There’s no time, Sidney. Scrub up and get dry. You’re expected at the VIP tent.”</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Well, they’re just going to have to wait!” he shouted, losing the last remnants of his composure. He completely had it with this farce.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>The rest of the family froze and said nothing.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>His father stepped forward.</p>
    <p>“Sidney.”</p>
    <p>Mr. Parker was livid - a mood that hadn't been targeted at Sidney since his teenage years - and he stood up tall to his full height. Even in middle age, he was formidable, standing a couple centimeters taller than both Tom and Sidney. His stare was colder than the water Sidney just got out of, and he was not one to brook a smart mouth from his children, at any age.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Get cleaned up. And get to the bloody tent," he said slowly through clenched teeth.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>They stared at each other for a second. Finally, Sidney looked down.</p>
    <p>"Come on, I'll go with you," Tom said. The two brothers walked off, Sidney trying to towel off as much as possible.</p>
    <p>"Oh, fucking unbelievable," Sidney muttered, spotting Laurence Campion walking towards them see what the commotion was about. "This day really can't get any worse."</p>
    <p>Laurence took one look at Sidney and burst out laughing. </p>
    <p>"What happened to you, Parker? You're supposed to row in the boat, not in the water!" </p>
    <p>"Hey thanks for the insight, Laurence. I'll keep that in mind," Sidney answered. He was in no mood to be polite to this wanker.</p>
    <p>"Hey man, <em>I</em> wasn't the one who lost to the team in <em>jeans</em>."</p>
    <p>Sidney stopped to look Laurence in the eye. Tom tried to pull him away to keep walking.</p>
    <p>"I don't see you winning any races," Sidney stopped and barked back.</p>
    <p>Laurence scoffed. "Maybe we could ask Eliza what she thinks." </p>
    <p>Sidney shoved him, as Tom looked on, not knowing whether to help Sidney or hold him back.</p>
  </div>
</div><div>
  <p>“Careful, Parker. I think your horns are showing.” Laurence smirked at him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Campion’s head snapped back before Laurence, Tom or even Sidney realized what caused it. Sidney had hit him with a powerful upper cut to the chin, and looked like he was about to hit him again. Tom lunged in between the men, and pulled Sidney away.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sidney! Christ, man!” Tom hissed as he pushed him away. “Get the hell out of here. Let me fix this.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Laurence was rubbing his chin, wincing, blood coming from his mouth. “You made me bite my tongue, you shit! Fucking animal your brother is, Tom!”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Others were running up to the group now, including the elder Parker and Campion. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What the hell is going here?!” Mr. Campion barked. “Laurence, what happened here?"</p>
  <p>"Sidney Parker is a maniac! Call the police. He assaulted me!"</p>
  <p>"Sidney," Mr. Parker now furious and panicking. "Is this what happened?"</p>
  <p>Not wanting to air his dirty laundry in front of his family, all Sidney said was "I hit him, yes."</p>
  <p>"This is unacceptable!" Mr. Campion yelled.</p>
  <p>Tom tried placate the Campions.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mr. Campion, it's all just a misunderstanding. Sidney was just going to get changed after he got knocked into the river, and is a little agitated from that. Laurence, sorry man, go back to Eliza in the cabana, please? I’ll take care of Sidney.” Tom shot his father a pleading look. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll fucking sue you, Parker!” Laurence was yelling. Suddenly, one of the police officers providing security for the event was on the scene, and Laurence was shouting at him too, pointing at Sidney and the red mark on his chin.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Arrest him for assaulting my son!” Mr. Campion called out. The officer hesitantly looked at Mr. Parker for direction. Tom pulled his father aside.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Have them hold Sidney, until the Campions leave. I think we can convince them not to press charges.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Mr. Parker gave him a slight nod, and Tom ran off to instruct the security guard.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>And this was how Sidney found himself locked in a security van, sitting in his wet clothes, staring at his dead phone, with only a silver emergency blanket to provide him any comfort. He pleaded with the officers to borrow someone's mobile or have them make a call on his behalf, but to no avail. He yelled to passers by, until the police had enough of his racket and took him to the station to hold him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sidney screamed in frustration and punched the walls of the room he was being held in until he was completely spent. He collapsed on the floor and waited. </p>
  <p>The hours crawled by. He covered his face with his hands, thinking of Charlotte waiting for him at the boathouse. 11:00 came and went. He had hoped someone would have come by noon, but still no one came. As the afternoon slipped away, he desperately hoped Charlotte had made it back to London alright. He knew she'd never speak to him again, and felt his eyes stinging from tears of anger. Again, he failed.</p>
  <p>It wasn’t until nightfall, well after the end of the event, that Mrs. Parker and Diana came to retrieve him. But by then, he'd lost his voice, his eyes were red from crying, and his hands were red and raw from banging on the doors. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sidney, we’re so sorry! Eliza finally convinced the Campions to promise not press charges just moments ago,” his mother explained. "Your father's been working all day to make sure you were only detained and not arrested."</p>
  <p>Diana handed him fresh clothes and a bottle of water, which he barely had the energy to take from her. </p>
  <p>"Tom and Arthur told me," she said in a low voice. "I'm so sorry, Sidney."</p>
  <p>Sidney was a wreck. He was exhausted and nearly catatonic. He looked up at her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Diana, do you mind if I use your phone?” he said in a weak voice.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Startled, she unlocked it and handed it to him. “Of course not.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He held it and then looked off in to the distance, not knowing what to do as he didn't have Charlotte’s number committed to memory. He started to craft a message to send via direct message on her social media accounts, but then stopped. None of the truth was going to be good. How could he tell her he couldn’t meet her because he was being detained for fighting? That he assaulted Eliza's new boyfriend? Physical violence and jealousy involving an ex-girlfriend were not qualities that would endear him to her or anyone. His chances with Charlotte were gone and he knew it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The crushing feeling in his chest got worse the longer he stood there thinking. He passed the phone back to Diana, not saying anything, but clearly communicating complete and utter defeat.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Several days later, Charlotte received an email late one night.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Charlotte,</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>I want to apologize for not meeting you at the regatta. I don’t know where to begin to explain, so I guess I won’t because none of it can justify how you were treated. The simple reason is that I have a lot of problems that I have apparently been ignoring. They all came to a head on the day of the regatta, and it became impossible for me to meet you. I hope you are alright. I am guessing since you’ve blocked me from every way of getting in touch with you that I’ve hurt you beyond forgiveness. I know I have. Nevertheless, I am hoping you are ok, and am asking that you please let me know. </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>I can’t ask you to forgive me, since I can’t even forgive myself. I hope you know this has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with the mess that I’ve created for myself. As I said before, you are incredible and above all, you amaze me, and none of that will ever change. Ever. </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>-Sidney</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Charlotte read the email several times over. The morning after the regatta, she deleted his number from her phone.  She blocked him from every social media account. She had one more exam, and then she still had to pack up all her things and move out by the end of the month. All the stress was breaking her down, and she had trouble sleeping and focusing. She couldn’t afford the emotional distraction and had no desire to let him back into her life.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Exactly two weeks after the regatta, Charlotte, Clara and a few other friends gathered at The Huntley pub on campus, and celebrated Charlotte’s 18th birthday. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why didn’t you invite Sidney, Charlotte?” Clara asked. “I’m sure he would have enjoyed helping you celebrate today.”</p>
  <p>Clara then turned to the other girls and said with a grin, "You should see this guy. He's so hot, and he <em>adores</em> her."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t want to talk about Sidney,” Charlotte answered. She still wasn’t even mentally ok to explain to Clara what had actually happened, and she sure wasn’t going to go into it today. Her friends glanced at each other, and someone quickly ordered a round of shots to change her mood. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They managed to get past that hiccup for the night, and given that nearly all the students had completed their exams, the crowd was raucous and ready to welcome Charlotte into her 18th year. The celebration moved from that bar to another, and then to a nightclub where the women danced and caroused until no one could remember any mention of Sidney. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The following morning, Charlotte could barely remember what happened the previous night. When she finally got out of bed some time around noon, she noticed there was a text from an unidentified number.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Unknown: <em>Happy birthday, Charlotte. I hope by now you have opened the box I sent you. Consider it a gift for your birthday. I miss seeing you. Sidney</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>The box under her bed. She forgot all about that. She pulled it out and stared at it for a long time. Her breathing hitched and she felt tears rolling down her face while her heart raced and ached. And then she got angry. Thinking about how Sidney had destroyed their friendship, she wanted to set that box on fire. Instead, she packed it away in her moving crates with all the other boxes destined for the new flat. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The following day, Clara's friend James came by and moved them both into an apartment a few blocks away. The three sat around the new flat, sharing a bottle of wine and pizza, and talked excitedly about plans for the summer.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>There were no further emails from Charlotte to Sidney. </p>
</div><p> </p><p>
  <strong>- End of Part 1 -</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>1. Please forgive me if I got any details wrong about rowing. I know there aren't boats for 3 rowers and a coxswain, but it'll have to do for the story.<br/>https://www.britishrowing.org/</p><p>2. I am not sure if 'your horns are showing' is an idiom that translates across countries, but it's a reference to being a cuckold or cuck.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Greetings, lovely readers. Before I go on with the story, here's a quick visual reference of our hero and heroine at 17 and 24:<br/>Rose Williams from 2011: https://www.instagram.com/p/CKymArjl9yZ/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link</p><p>Couldn't find any of Theo James at 24. But here he is in a student film when he was at drama school, which I assume might have been around the right age: https://vimeo.com/68331135<br/></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Part 2</strong>
</p><p><br/>Sidney sat in his office on the top floor of a building only a short walk from his old campus. He stared out the window at the massive cranes in the distance at a construction site a few blocks away. He just returned from that site, and everything was going perfectly well. There was still probably another nine months of construction, but it was the culmination of two years of work for him and Georgiana.</p><p>The light was disappearing quickly as the sun had dropped behind the buildings. He was still working on the finishing touches of his presentation, and the graphic artist was pinging him every 15 minutes. Obviously she wanted to go home too and get started on the weekend.</p><p>Georgiana knocked and startled him out of his blank reverie. </p><p>“Why are you still here?” she asked, as she adjusted her bag on her shoulder.</p><p>“Oh, um,” he fumbled around on his computer, quickly closing windows just in case she was going to wander over to look at his screen. “I’m adding a few details to the presentation for Monday morning.”</p><p>“And what was wrong with the version I created?” Georgiana asked patiently.</p><p>He chuckled. “There was nothing wrong with it. I’m just adding some of the hard data just in case we have to back up those lofty claims of yours.”</p><p>“Lofty?” She pursed her lips at him, and then broke into a smile. “It’s a good thing my dad and I were able to tear you away from Sanditon. You would have spent your days chasing after your father and his promises.”</p><p>“Don’t forget Tom.” Sidney sighed. “They’re two of a kind.”</p><p>“Any plans for the weekend? Apart from boxing training, which I assume is most of it.”</p><p>“Grabbing a pint and dinner.”</p><p>“Lovely. With the yoga instructor?”</p><p>He gave her a strained look. “No, we couldn’t get our chakras aligned. I’m meeting Babbers and Crowe tonight. You?”</p><p>“Otis and I are painting the nursery.”</p><p>“What a thrilling celebration for your three-year anniversary.”</p><p>She shot him a look. </p><p>“Stop flaunting your single life to a woman who is six months pregnant. I can’t wait to have a pint again.” </p><p>He smiled weakly at her. The notion of having a weekend that Georgiana would condone was laughable. </p><p>“You know I’m just jealous of your domestic bliss, Georgiana.”</p><p>She resisted rolling her eyes at her business partner. “I don’t know how you put up with the dating scene, Sidney. Hasn’t it be like two years since you’ve had a girlfriend?”</p><p>“Three, but who’s counting?” he said under his breath. </p><p>“Surely out of all the girls you’ve met, there had to be one that was worth a second date?”</p><p>Of course, there was. But he was never able to be with her. When he thought he finally had his chance, his family fucked that up for him in spades.</p><p>“I’m sure they all were, G. They weren't really compatible with me.” They weren’t her.</p><p>Georgiana looked at him critically. Sidney never opened up about what happened after her wedding, but it all seemed to fall apart pretty quickly. By the time she and Otis returned to London from their honeymoon, Sidney and Eliza had split, he and the Parkers were on the outs, and suddenly the sweet guy she grew up with had changed into someone else - reserved, impatient, prone to fits of dark moods. He’d taken up boxing initially to give himself an outlet for his aggression, but then found himself enjoying the mental strategy of outwitting his opponents in the ring.</p><p>Tom and Mary told her about that disastrous regatta three years ago, and seemed puzzled that Sidney wasn't bothered so much by the physical altercation with Eliza’s new beau. It was more that he missed his rendez-vous with his 'friend' Charlotte. They speculated she never forgave him for standing her up. They thought that was a bit extreme, but Sidney never explained. </p><p>Evidently, it was more that he never forgave himself. All the Parker siblings tried to find out more about this 'Charlotte,' but he refused to tell them. Georgiana and her father tried as well, once he was officially part of the Lambe Corporation. But he said nothing. It was as if he were someone else entirely.</p><p>“Ok, heartbreaker. I’m off. Please don’t keep the artist waiting on those slides.”</p><p>Sidney gave a half-hearted wave, and looked back at his screen. He reopened the window he so promptly hid from Georgiana. It was a picture from a review of the Brazilian café where Charlotte used to work. She was beaming at the camera, holding out a tray of whatever the reviewer had ordered. He only had one other photo of her. And couldn’t bear to look at it, since he was in it. </p><p>After the damned regatta, he considered going to see her at the café. He agonized over the decision and consulted Babbers and Crowe at the time. </p><p>“Just go and explain, man! What is the use of this whole ‘I don’t deserve to be forgiven' bullshit?” William and Crowe berated him on one of their nights at the Seven Stars.</p><p>“I’ve made my bed, and I must lie in it,” he replied.</p><p>Crowe rolled his eyes. “You are so stubborn about the oddest things, Parker.”</p><p>“What am I supposed to do, Frank?!” Sidney pounded his palm on the table. “I was detained for fighting with my ex’s new boyfriend. How is that supposed to make me look? I was nearly arrested and charged with assault. And then to be photographed in the paper standing next to Eliza? Obviously, Charlotte thought I chose to be with Eliza over her, and left her waiting.”</p><p>“You could at least explain about the phone," Crowe offered.</p><p>Sidney thought through his options dozens of times, and that was just on the day of the regatta. “And would you believe someone if they told you they stood you up because they got their phone wet?” he countered.</p><p>Frank tilted his head in thought. </p><p>“Probably not. Especially not if I thought they’d reconciled with their ex.”</p><p>“I completely understand, Sid. If you explained about the phone, then you would have to explain why you just didn’t wait for her. And that goes back to the fighting-over-another-woman thing,” Babbers answered. “I mean even Esther agreed that the truth isn't believable, and is probably worse than whatever Charlotte's imagining.”</p><p>Sidney covered his face with his hands. “Oh good, I’m glad everyone’s deconstructing my shit life.”</p><p>“That’s right, Parker. It’s just much easier to wallow in anger and self-pity, and spend the rest of your life asking ‘what if?’” Frank said sarcastically.</p><p>Frank was right, but it took Sidney a long time to wallow. He was so consumed by anger at his family that he didn’t even want Charlotte to see him like that. By the time he admitted to himself he couldn’t keep asking ‘what if,’ it was too late. She moved out of the dorm, she quit the café, and all his emails were ignored or blocked. </p><p>Three years later, the wounds may have been hidden, but they never fully healed. Sidney was still frequenting the Seven Stars with Babbers and Crowe. The three men were now much more established in their careers. William and Frank left their respective firms and established their own highly successful consultancy. Extraordinarily successful with little time to spend the money they were earning, the three of them binged on high-end alcohol, expensive man toys, and the occasional, reckless thrill-seeking. They all had put on a little weight since school, but with Sidney’s intensive training schedule, he was muscular and massive. </p><p>That Friday evening, they were meeting him at the pub, and Sidney was already there, half-way through a plate of pasta and a pint.</p><p>“Jesus, Sid, have you gotten bigger since we last saw you?” Babbers commented as soon as he walked in.</p><p>“Oh, I doubt it. You just haven’t seen me in a few weeks, and you forgot what I look like.” </p><p>“You’re eating like your running a marathon tomorrow. What are you even training for?” Frank commented. “You’re not going to compete, are you?”</p><p>“No, of course not,” he paused as he considered his answer. “I set a goal for myself, and I wanted to meet it.”</p><p>“Didn’t you meet that about six months ago?”</p><p>“Yes, but how am I supposed to use any of my training if I don’t practice it?”</p><p>“He wants to look like a badass,” Frank directed at Babbers. “So no one will fuck with him.”</p><p>“Well, mission accomplished," William replied.</p><p>The men sat down with Sidney, and the pub cat sauntered over to weave in between their ankles.</p><p>"So let me guess. You're training all weekend," William asked Sidney.</p><p>"You know, two years ago you were scraping me off the floor of your house, Babbers. I would think you'd find this an improvement."</p><p>"Oh it's definitely an improvement. When you decide you're going to pursue something, you are relentless."</p><p>"It's because I don't like to lose, Babs," Sidney answered, irritated.</p><p>"Yes, you lost big once and now you're compensating for it," Frank teased. Sidney scowled at him. </p><p>"Join us tomorrow afternoon. We're golfing," William suggested.</p><p>"Drunk golfing, I assume?" Sidney asked.</p><p>"Obviously. What other kind is there?" Frank responded. "Come with us, Parker. Blow off some steam."</p><p>The last time they went golfing, the three were banned from the London Golf Club.</p><p>"Yeah, alright. Sounds perfect."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Are you coming this weekend?” Charlotte asked James. He was supposed to take the train in last night, but work kept him late at the architectural firm, and he didn't have the energy to make to to London.</p><p>“One sec,” he answered mechanically. </p><p>She could see him on the video chat, still in his pyjama pants, wrapping up an intense firefight in his video game and running to safety. </p><p>“Sorry,” he pulled his attention away from the computer screen and looked back at his phone, where Charlotte was staring at him patiently. </p><p>“I can’t, love. Not if I’m going to come down for your graduation. I have to get ahead on my work so that I can take those days off.”</p><p>Charlotte made an exaggerated sad face. </p><p>“I’ll miss you then.”</p><p>“I’ll miss you more.”</p><p>“Ok, I’ve got to run if I’m going to make it on time for yoga.”</p><p>"Ok, Charlotte,” he said with a grin. "Call me later."</p><p>Charlotte started seeing James a few months after Clara introduced them. He was her on-again, off-again boyfriend, and currently, they were in a decent stride of being on-again. </p><p>Unfortunately, James no longer lived in London. Following his own graduation, he took a job in Birmingham to be closer to his family. They tried to maintain the relationship over the distance. This was their third attempt, neither of the previous two lasting more than a couple of months. </p><p>She dated other men, but those were even less noteworthy than the on-again phases with James. She liked James. A lot. He was cheerful, easy to talk to, and cute. And when they broke up, it was never soul-crushing. Which was just perfect.</p><p>The weekend was going to be slow now that James wasn't going to be in town. That was fine. Clara would be around. Maybe she and some of the other girls would want to catch a film. For now, the headline activities were going to be yoga and naps. Or more likely, a nap during yoga. </p><p>As expected, Charlotte caught herself almost falling asleep at the end of her yoga class. It wouldn’t have been the first time. People were already picking up their mats to leave, as the instructor strummed a zither and chanted ‘Namaste’ to the students. Combined with the heat of the room, the physical exhaustion had relaxed Charlotte to the point of being rubbery and sluggish. There were a few times over the course of the years when the release of tension after class was so great, she cried, but it had been a couple years since that happened.</p><p>She lingered, gathering her thoughts and trying to get back up to normal speed, and decided to quench her thirst with something from the juicery next door. As she was waiting, she noticed the shirt of the woman in front of her - Sanditon Regatta. Charlotte felt her heart clench. Despite the passage of three years, it still hurt.</p><p>“I went to the Sanditon Regatta once,” she mused out loud.</p><p>The blond woman turned around. </p><p>“Did you really?!” She looked extremely pleased at the recognition. “Did you enjoy it?”</p><p>Charlotte gave a half-hearted laugh. “I can’t say that I actually saw much of it, in truth.” </p><p>“Oh, what a shame. It can be rather chaotic, but it is an institution,” she answered. She had cheerful demeanor and a friendly smile, and Charlotte immediately returned the warmth. She looked down and noticed the front of the shirt read ‘Parker Rowers.’ Charlotte’s smile faded. The recollection of that day struck her like a punch in the face. Even three years later, she still felt the crush in her chest of the hurt.</p><p>“Funny. I used to know someone from Sanditon named Parker,” she said dryly.</p><p>“Oh really? Who’s your friend?” she beamed.</p><p>“Well I didn’t really know him well. Sidney Parker. I met him on a plane once.” She wished that was all she knew of him. </p><p>“That’s my brother-in-law!” the woman reached out excitedly. “I’m Mary.”</p><p>“Oh…” Crap. Charlotte felt instant regret of letting her guard down and talking to a stranger. She blamed the excessive relaxation from class. She wasn’t sure what to say at that point, and shook Mary's hand wordlessly.</p><p>“And what is your name? I’ll tell him I ran into you.”</p><p>“Oh, please don’t. I doubt he’ll remember me. It was ages ago.”</p><p>“Sidney’s mind is a vault. I am sure he’d remember you,” Mary chattered on. “And you were in Sanditon for the regatta? I wonder if you and I have met before. Were you there as Sidney’s guest? I feel like I would remember any guests of Sidney’s.” </p><p>“Oh, no. I was just there by coincidence,” she said, hesitantly.</p><p>“What is your name?” Mary leaned forward, her expression so earnest that Charlotte was momentarily disarmed. She panicked. She never was good at lying to strangers.</p><p>“Oh, please, I’d rather remain anonymous. Don’t mention our meeting, if you don’t mind.”</p><p>Mary withdrew, bearing a slight frown.</p><p>“Oh, I see. Was Sidney rude to you? He was, wasn’t he?” Before Charlotte could answer, Mary kept going. “He’s a bit rough around the edges. He didn’t used to be that way, but I suppose people change,” she sighed.</p><p>At this point, the cashier took Mary's order. “I’ll have my usual, Diana.”</p><p>"Mary, you should try it with a shot of brain octane oil and spirulina. It's amazing!" the cashier gushed. </p><p>Mary winced. "Oh, that sounds too healthy for me. Just the carrot and ginger juice. And I’d like to treat my friend here to whatever she wants.” Mary was smiling sweetly at Charlotte.</p><p>“Oh, please, that’s unnecessary!”</p><p>“It’s my treat. As compensation for my brother’s rude behavior.” She laughed, and had such a warm countenance, it was hard not to smile in return. </p><p>Diana looked expectantly at Charlotte. “And what I can get you?”</p><p>“I’ll have the detox green juice.” </p><p>At the mention of the green juice, Diana’s eyes lit up. “Isn’t that juice incredible? Every time I have that, my skin looks so glowy the next day!” </p><p>"Diana, this young woman here knows Sidney!" Mary and Diana exchanged a bemused look. "Diana is Sidney's sister."</p><p>Charlotte blinked at them both, not knowing how she felt about a sudden flood of memories of Sidney.</p><p>Diana gasped and answered excitedly, "What a small world! And what's your name, dear?"</p><p>She took a deep breath.</p><p>“It’s Charlotte,” she answered, self-conscious. Now they knew her name. Eh, fuck it. Charlotte enjoyed a good three years avoiding her past, and that should be more than enough to get past something as stupid as a falling out with a friend. Besides, these two women seemed so kind. And, she was in a pseudo-relationship with James.</p><p>Diana smiled warmly at her. “It’s nice to meet you, Charlotte.” </p><p>“And it’s lovely meeting you both."</p><p>"Charlotte, would you like to join me and Diana as you finish your juice?" Mary asked.</p><p>"Oh," she hesitated, wondering if she was going to be forced to talk about Sidney. "Um, I'd hate to interrupt."</p><p>"Not an interruption at all!" Diana responded. "Let me just get your juices and I can sit with you. I happen to know the boss." She then burst out laughing.</p><p>"Diana runs the juicery, and the yoga studio next door is mine," Mary explained.</p><p>Oh, the damn luck.</p><p>“So what do you do, Charlotte?” she asked, gesturing to a table for them to sit.</p><p>“I’m a student at UCL, but I’m about to graduate next month.”</p><p>“Congratulations! What is your field of study?”</p><p>“Philosophy and public policy.”</p><p>“Oh interesting! And what will you do after graduation?”</p><p>“I’m not quite sure yet. I’ve applied for a few things but nothing’s come through yet.”</p><p>“Well, I’m sure it won’t be long before you find out," Mary smiled at her reassuringly. Charlotte wondered which brother Mary was married to. </p><p>Diana joined them with their drinks and the two Parker women talked for a full 15 minutes. At last, there was break in the conversation, and Charlotte couldn’t suppress her curiosity any longer.</p><p>“So how is Sidney?” she asked, as disinterested as she could make herself.</p><p>Diana smiled sweetly. “He’s alright, yeah. I’m not sure when you last saw him, but he’s back on his feet and doing well for himself.”</p><p>Charlotte raised her eyebrows. “Back on his feet? How do you mean?”</p><p>The two women looked knowingly at each other.</p><p>“Oh, well, he’s been forging his own way, I guess you could say,” Mary answered.</p><p>“Hm. When I met him, he was at LSE finishing his graduate degree.” Charlotte couldn't imagine that Sidney would be struggling at the family business.</p><p>“Oh, then you wouldn't have heard,” Diana said thoughtfully. “I guess that was before everything changed for him.”</p><p>“Everything changed? How do you mean?” Now Charlotte was alarmed. </p><p>“Actually, it's funny you mentioned the regatta," Mary replied. "It was at that event a couple years ago that Sidney really had some kind of life change. Shortly after, he dropped out of LSE, then broke with father and my husband Tom from the family business, and went off to do his own thing.”</p><p>Charlotte’s mouth fell open. </p><p>“He dropped out of LSE?” she was flabbergasted. “I would never have guessed that - not in a million years. He was so driven and studious.”</p><p>Mary tilted her head to one side. “Oh, I must have misunderstood you earlier. I thought you had met on a plane.”</p><p>Charlotte looked down and could not avoid an embarrassed blush. “Well, I saw him a few times after that.”</p><p>“Wait a moment.” Mary said with a frown. “Charlotte.”</p><p>Charlotte looked uneasily from side to side. “Yes?”</p><p>“What year did you come out for the regatta?”</p><p>“Um… I guess it was three years ago, if I think about it.” Two years and ten months, really. </p><p>“Were you supposed to meet him there?” Mary studied her reaction.</p><p>“Um, you know, I should really get going...”</p><p>“And he never showed up to meet you, did he?” she leaned forward to get a closer view of Charlotte’s face. Diana's eyes went wide as she realized what Mary was getting at. </p><p>“I… It was lovely meeting you both,” Charlotte stammered, gathering her things.</p><p>“And then you blocked him from contacting you,” Diana stated. It wasn’t an indictment. It was merely a statement of fact. But the way she expressed it made Charlotte feel like a spoiled child throwing a tantrum.</p><p>Charlotte’s face darkened, and she stood up suddenly, knocking her chair over. </p><p>“Thanks for the juice, Mary, Diana. I need to go.” She hurriedly righted the chair, and started walking away, when Diana called out after her.</p><p>“Aren’t you even interested in knowing what happened to him?” </p><p>Actually yes. She had been wondering since 11:10 on the day of the regatta. Initially, her ego was too crushed to give him the benefit of the doubt. It was less painful to simply excise him entirely from her memory. But that never worked. He crept back into her thoughts. All the dates she went on, she compared the men to Sidney. When servers asked her for ID for alcohol, she laughed to herself at Sidney's horrified reaction to their age gap. And on planes. She always thought of Sidney when she was on a flight.</p><p>She stopped and looked back at Mary, who looked concerned, and Diana, who looked more hopeful rather than accusatory. She walked back and rejoined them. </p><p>“I am, yes. And I have been since that day.”</p><p>They both had look of relief and sadness. </p><p>“I’m glad to hear that, Charlotte. You don’t know what Sidney went through.” Diana paused to gather her thoughts. “I guess you’ve never met any of the other Parkers, have you?”</p><p>Charlotte shook her head. “No, I knew Sidney lived with his brother, but I never saw him at the house.”</p><p>Mary looked surprised. “Oh, you’ve been to Bedford Place?”</p><p>“Only once or twice. We cooked dinner,” she said, self-consciously.</p><p>If the women suspected anything, they didn’t let on.</p><p>“Our father is, hm, a typical entrepreneur, I guess you could say," Diana explained. "His head is full of ideas and he’s got his mind churning all the time."</p><p>"Tom is just like him," Mary chimed in. "Tom and Sidney always had a bit of a rivalry, and unfortunately Tom took it too far that weekend.” She gave Diana a look and added, "That's just between us. Don't tell Tom I said that."</p><p>They explained how things fell apart from there. How Eliza had been seeing Laurence well before ending things with Sidney. How Laurence taunted Sidney at the event. How Sidney was held by police after punching Laurence. The Campions were arguing for hours with Sidney's father, until Eliza brokered a compromise that would allow Sidney to be released uncharged, if - and this was a huge 'if' - Sanditon Real Estate Development would give the Campions right of first refusal in any new real estate ventures. </p><p>Charlotte was shocked and disgusted that the Campions would be so ruthless as to use Sidney as a pawn in a business dealing.</p><p>“My father was furious at the outcome. But Sidney,” Diana paused and Charlotte sensed a sadness in her voice, “he came out of that detention cell completely broken. He asked for my phone, but then just handed it back to me - like he knew he was defeated.”</p><p>Tears welled up in Charlotte’s eyes. </p><p>“Sidney was never the same after that. He never came back to Sanditon - not for the regatta or for holidays or anything. That’s when he quit LSE and went to work for a family friend.”</p><p>"I think the last time the entire Parker family was together was for my wedding to Tom. </p><p>The tears were rolling down Charlotte’s cheeks, and she tried to brush them away, but they kept coming.</p><p>“I had no idea,” she finally said softly. “I can’t believe he would quit graduate school. And he seemed so set on working with the family after graduation.”</p><p>“He seemed to lose interest in philosophy,” Mary added.</p><p>“How can that be? He seemed so passionate about it.” Charlotte was baffled.</p><p>Diana shrugged and exhaled. “Well, it was a long time ago, and he seems to have done fine.”</p><p>“What does he do now?”</p><p>“He works for the Lambe Corporation, which is another real estate development firm," Mary said. "He seems to be doing very well for himself, and I understand the company’s made him a partner.”</p><p>“Oh, that’s good.” There was a long pause as Charlotte looked off and tried not to openly cry. The two sides of her mind were fighting, and she couldn’t stop them. She shouldn’t have cut him off. He should have tried harder to meet her. She should have sought out his family at the regatta. He should have told them about her. She should have answered his email. He should have done a better job of explaining. Finally the fight within boiled over, and her countenance crumbled. Charlotte bent her head down, and let out a sob.</p><p>“Oh, Charlotte, I didn’t mean to upset you!” Diana moved her chair closer and put her arm around Charlotte’s shoulders. “I’m so sorry. I should never have told you. It wasn’t my place to say anything and now I’ve meddled where I shouldn’t. Arthur is always telling me to stop being a busy body, and he’s so right.” </p><p>Mary too reached out and put a hand on Charlotte's. Even before the regatta, she was not comfortable letting Tom invite Eliza. She should have said something then, but didn't, and had been kicking herself since.</p><p>Mary was looking at Charlotte sympathetically, and Diana was on the verge of tears, and the idea of the three women bawling in a juice bar was too ridiculous for Charlotte. She laughed through her sobs and wiped her eyes.</p><p>“Well, we’re not helping anyone like this.”</p><p>Diana laughed too, and sniffled.</p><p>“You were right to tell me the truth about your brother. I never gave him that chance, and that was selfish... and wrong.”</p><p>Diana gave her another squeeze. </p><p>“You can’t say that it was <em>wrong</em>. You didn’t know," Mary tried to comfort her.</p><p>"And Sidney’s far too proud and stubborn. I mean, so incredibly <em>willful</em> his whole life,” she said with a laugh, covering her eyes with one hand. “It’s one of the reasons he didn’t want to go back to Sanditon after that.”</p><p>“I wish I could undo the things I’ve done.” She looked up with mild trepidation. “Do you think he’d let me apologize to him?”</p><p>Diana sat back in thought, and looked hesitantly at Mary.</p><p>“I can’t speak for him, but if you like, I can ask.”</p><p>She hesitated, thinking she should just put it behind her, just as Sidney had. But there was still some of the old Charlotte that couldn’t help herself. “I would like that, yes.”</p><p>In an instant, the parts of her that she thought died three years ago stirred. The numbness faded, and a mix of tingling and pain made her aware of these long-neglected corners of her heart. The remembrance of their time together - and that one kiss - overshadowed everything that happened in the three years since. </p><p>Charlotte stood up suddenly.</p><p>"Thank you both so much for talking to me. I am so grateful I met you both today," she said, quickly jotting down her contact information for them.</p><p>They were startled at her sudden change in demeanor. But Charlotte couldn't be bothered with pleasantries. She remembered she had to get home quickly. There was a box she needed to open.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>For visual reference, here are links to pictures of Rose and Theo at 20 and 27.</p><p>Theo James in 2011 at 27: https://www.mandatory.com/culture/175884-theo-james-talks-bedlam</p><p>Rose Williams in 2014 at 20: https://ew.com/article/2014/08/19/reign-adds-new-princess-to-cast-in-season-2/</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey you sexy things! If you haven't heard it enough today, you are AWESOME. </p><p>Thank you to all you lovely readers and to all the commenters who provide such positivity and encouragement. Again, I never expected this story to resonate, and I’m more than flattered that it has instilled reactions and emotions. That is high praise.<br/>A few thoughts from the last chapter:<br/>If you considered Charlotte’s chance meeting with Diana and Mary to be too convenient, I read this fascinating article a few years ago about how coincidences are not really as improbable as we perceive them to be. https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/02/the-true-meaning-of-coincidences/463164/<br/>I like to think that Charlotte - living in an area close to Bedford Place - would actually find herself running into Mary and Diana, being fellow women in an age range that tends to frequent the same types of places like yoga studios. Also, this is a Sidlotte story. They have a connection to each other, and that in and of itself, is the main thing that binds them (you know, like connections do).<br/>Finally, I forgot to clarify something in Chapter 6. At the end of the chapter, I wrote that Charlotte put the box from Sidney in her moving bin. I forgot that, outside the US, “to bin” something means to throw it away in the garbage. What I *meant* was that she put it into a moving crate (like this https://rentamovingbox.com/). In the US, sometimes we use “bin” to refer to any kind of large receptacle. I rewrote it to be clearer, but then I forgot to mention it in the intro to Chapter 7. Sorry for the confusion!<br/>Thank you again for reading! Hope you have a lovely week.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Filled with a new urgency, Charlotte practically sprinted home - her mind racing with the conversation she had with Diana and Mary. She caught herself sobbing one minute and then panicking the next. She unblocked his phone number, his email and social media accounts. She wanted to call him immediately. But what if he didn't want to talk to her? She wanted to run to Bedford Place and see if he was home, but then immediately dismissed that. What if he hated her? What if he no longer lived there? What if he had a girlfriend? Why didn’t she ask that? </p><p>She threw open the door to her wardrobe open and stood on a chair to reach the top shelf. She pulled out the jumpers and winter clothes that were stored there, tossed them on the floor, and thrust her hand as far back as she could. Her fingers just barely caught the corner of the wood box she hid nearly three years ago when she and Clara moved in.</p><p>She looked around for something to extend her reach. She grabbed her umbrella, and used the curved handle to help pull the box to the edge of the shelf. Bringing it down, she was surprised that it was not covered in dust, and looked very much like it did the day it arrived. The note was still stuck on the front.</p><p><em>To be opened upon word from Columbia </em> ;) <em>Sidney</em></p><p>She smiled to herself, remembering how much that wink slayed her when he dropped her off on the way back from the airport. She felt fluttery and nervous, as she turned the heavy box around in her hands. Funny, the thought of the scholarship rotation at Columbia seemed so quaint now. She steeled her expectations, and gently broke the seal of the lid.</p><p>Inside, nestled in foam packing was a black bottle of champagne. The black label read Dom Pérignon Plénitude 2. None of that meant anything to Charlotte, though she recognized the brand as something quite luxurious. Additionally, there was a small envelope, which held a handwritten card and a small USB memory stick.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>Charlotte, </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>I can’t believe how incredibly lucky I am to have met you in what could really only be a stroke of fate. If you’ve opened this, that must mean you are about to start a new exciting phase. I hope you embrace this opportunity - these are the experiences that reveal themselves so rarely. Someone gave me this champagne when I graduated, but I never felt there was an occasion special enough to open it. I hope you don’t mind that I’ve decided to share it with you, because I think this event - meeting you, that is - merits something truly celebratory.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Best of luck, Charlotte! Can’t wait to hear all about it.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>P.S. The flash drive has a copy of my dissertation on it. Maybe it will help you in your future coursework.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Charlotte’s eyes teared as she read the note, and by the time she reached the end, she was completely sobbing. What had she thrown away in her immature, selfish anger? Would she ever see him again? Would he ever forgive her?  </p><p>She laid on the floor and held the note to her chest, the hurt ripping through her, opening festering wounds. She cried out in frustration at herself over her prideful stupidity. Her heart fell into her stomach as she thought how dire things were for him following the regatta, when he really could have used a friend.</p><p>“What the hell is going on?!” Clara burst into her room. Charlotte didn’t even realize Clara was home. She collected herself and tried to speak through her sobs.</p><p>“Oh, Clara, I fucked up. I fucked up so bad.” </p><p>Clara plopped herself on the floor next to Charlotte and gave her a hug. Charlotte cried into her shoulder for several minutes before her breathing stabilized. Finally, she told Clara everything. All the things she did and didn’t do after the regatta and all the awful things that happened to Sidney after that. </p><p>“It's ok, it’s ok, Charlie,” Clara soothed. “We’ll make it right.” </p><p>Clara wasn’t sure how that would work, but Charlotte had never been this broken - not even close. </p><p> </p><hr/><p><br/>William, Frank and Sidney were breathlessly laughing and hanging on each other as they walked into the posh Alibi Room at the City Hotel. While the Seven Stars was their go-to weekday hangout, this was their Saturday night spotlight, and being the ballers they were, everyone knew them there. The patrons were all pretty inebriated at this time of night, and as the three entered, the crowd turned and greeted them with cheers. </p><p>“Heyyyyyy…” the three shouted.</p><p>“Must be the monayyyyy!!” the crowd shouted back.</p><p>They took their usual seats in the back on a velvet corner sofa and chair, and before long, a waitress appeared, bearing an elaborate decanter filled with a ice water with curls of cucumber and sprigs of mint, along with three glasses of green liquid, topped with sugar cubes on slotted spoons.</p><p>“A round of absinthe, courtesy of the house, Lord Babington, Mr. Parker, Mr. Crowe.”</p><p>The other bar patrons reacted excitedly, yet the three men winced in memory of the last time they had absinthe. While they knew there were no hallucinogenic properties in absinthe, none were completely convinced there wasn't something suspect in there, given how devastating the hangovers were. </p><p>“I’m so glad your secret identity is known here. They’d never treat me and Sidney this well without you, <em>my lord</em>,” Frank teased.</p><p>William rarely disclosed the fact that he had a title, only recently inherited when his father passed a couple years prior. It was still foreign to him, but getting known at bars and clubs like these, his title was certainly handy.</p><p>The carousing continued. They crowded around William's phone, watching videos from their day of golfing. Frank’s favourite was a video of them driving  up a sand trap at full speed, briefly going airborne. Sidney nearly passed out laughing at the video of Crowe being thrown out the side of the cart into a pond, when they took a turn too quickly.</p><p>After another couple rounds of shots, a few pints and a couple orders of fried somethings, the men were well beyond their normal weekend level of inebriation.</p><p>An hour later, and the men were strongly encouraged out the door, barely able to stand. Babington ran toward some shrubs a few blocks down, while the other two hung onto each other, groaning.</p><p>They could hear William retching, and Frank stifled a gag. </p><p>“And with that, I think it’s time to bring this night to a close,” Sidney stated.</p><p>“Sssso what happens now? Gonna drunk text the ladies again?” Frank slurred.</p><p>“Please, Crowe, give me some credit,” Sidney replied with his eyebrows raised. “It’s just <em>one</em> lady.”</p><p>Frank laughed. “Of course. What are you going to do one day when she answers?”</p><p>“She won’t. I’ve been blocked everywhere,” he said bitterly. “So I’m not in any danger.”</p><p>“That checks out. What could go wrong?” Frank said sarcastically. </p><p>Sidney hailed a taxi. William managed to recover enough to follow the other two into the taxi.</p><p>“Hope you’re not going to see Esther in this state,” Frank looked at William with suspicion.</p><p>“Of course I am,” he answered. “No other way to feel loved as to have a woman look at you disgusted, leave you on the floor and check that you haven’t died overnight.”</p><p>“<em>That</em> is love, Babbers,” Frank laughed. </p><p>They dropped William off at Esther’s, and indeed, she answered the door, unimpressed and glaring at Sidney and Frank in the car.</p><p>“You going home now, Frank?” Sidney asked.</p><p>“Possibly, if I don’t hear back from the lovely Julia, who should just be getting off her shift at the bar now.”</p><p>And as if on cue, Frank’s phone dinged with a text. He smirked.</p><p>“Alright, I see your evening isn’t over,” Sidney concluded. The taxi arrived at his apartment building. He exited the taxi, waved to Frank, and stumbled to his door. </p><p>Sidney no longer lived with Tom. Shortly after his row with the family, he moved out and lived temporarily with William, and then when his income stabilized from work, he moved into his own apartment in a full-service building. It wasn’t far from Bedford Place, but it was far more fitting of his bachelor life, with his own rooftop patio, and access to an in-house gym and pool. He could still walk to work, to the Seven Stars, and to his favourite shops. And to UCL, if he ever found need to go there.</p><p>He entered his flat, went straight to the kitchen for water, and then peered into his refrigerator, expecting something to have magically appeared. Naturally, nothing had, so he grabbed a glass, filled it with ice, and then turned to his collection of whiskeys, and decided on a Japanese whiskey gifted to him by a client. </p><p>He took out his phone, thumbed through a few pictures in Instagram and messages in his inbox. And per his routine when he was drunk and alone, he sent a text.</p><p>“Miss you.”</p><p>He poured himself another and downed it, as he made his way to the bathroom. Tossing his phone on the bed, he half-consciously readied for bed, and fell on top of the covers still partly dressed. The whiskey was easing him into a numb semi-slumber, when he felt his phone vibrate next to him.</p><p>Looking at the screen, he smirked. </p><p>“Fucking absinthe is definitely hallucinogenic. The ghosts are texting me back,” he muttered to himself.</p><p> </p><p>Sidney winced as he gradually regained consciousness, the unrelenting light coming through his window and mocking him for his sorry hungover state. His head was buzzing repeatedly. No, actually that was his phone, buried somewhere in his bed. </p><p>He frowned and groped around for the offending device. He managed to touch the speaker icon to answer the phone before it went to voicemail.</p><p>“Mary,” he groaned. “Were it anyone else calling, I’d remind them it is rudely early to ring anyone on a weekend morning.”</p><p>“It’s afternoon, Sidney,” Mary answered suppressing a laugh. “I guess time flies when you’re hungover.”</p><p>He checked the time.</p><p>“It's <em>barely </em>afternoon,” he grumbled, dismayed that he had fallen asleep still in street clothes. “Alright?” </p><p>“Did you happen to speak with Diana yesterday?” Mary asked.</p><p>Damn, Diana texted and he forgot to respond.</p><p>“Shit, no I meant to call her back, but I was golfing with Babington and Crowe.” Heh, those videos were epic.</p><p>“Oh, that’s too bad. I was hoping she had explained everything.”</p><p>“Explained what?” He hauled himself to the sink and set the phone on the counter. He splashed water on his face, and ran his hand through his hair. </p><p>“Whom we met. Diana and I. At the juicery.”</p><p>Oh, god, Diana was always going on about minor celebrities that popped into her store or were at the yoga studio. </p><p>“You know I don’t have much interest or even any knowledge about these B-list stars.”</p><p>“No, Sidney, it wasn’t a celebrity.” There was a pause and uncertainty in her voice. </p><p>“Well, go on. Who was it then?”</p><p>“We met Charlotte.”</p><p>Sidney had his face buried in a towel, but at Charlotte’s name, he froze. Suddenly awash in memories and anger, hurt and hope, he exhaled roughly. </p><p>“Charlotte who?”</p><p>He could hear Mary’s eyes rolling.</p><p>“Heywood. That is the woman you were supposed to meet at the regatta that year, isn’t it?”</p><p>The woman he was supposed to meet. The woman he hadn’t stopped thinking about. The woman who infuriated him, and crushed him, and still made him think of her three years later without so much a word.</p><p>“You don’t have to talk about it, Sidney. But she wants to talk to you and asked if we thought you’d be willing to.”</p><p>It’s funny. He talked to her in his dreams all the time. Even last night, he dreamt he was texting her. Oh, wait. He suddenly stopped everything, eyes widened from his recollection. </p><p>“Hold on, Mary.”</p><p>He looked down at his phone, checked his texts and indeed, there was an entire thread he had no memory of. Evidently, he texted Charlotte in his absinthe-induced drunkenness. </p><p>Fuck fuck fuck.</p><p>“I gotta go, Mary,” he blurted out and hung up before she had a chance to respond.</p><p>It seemed Charlotte recently unblocked him. And she answered his drunken texts.</p><p><br/>Sidney: <em>Miss you</em></p><p><br/>Sidney winced at his own neediness.<br/><br/></p><p>Charlotte: <em>Sidney I’m so sorry</em></p><p>Sidney: <em>Whoever this is, please keep pretendinmg. It’s finalaly nice to get a responsert.</em></p><p>Charlotte: <em>It’s me, Charlotte. I’ve missed you too, Sidney.</em></p><p>Sidney: <em>Do you?  Lol. That’s the best nmews I’ve geard in three ytears. </em></p><p>Charlotte: <em>Why didn’t you tell me everything?</em></p><p>Sidney: <em>I tried, but you cut me iff. </em></p><p>Charlotte: <em>You emailed me and said you were in a mess of your own creation. You never told me about what Tom and the Campions did to you that day. I wish you had.</em> </p><p>Sidney: <em>Really? Would u have evrn carerd?</em></p><p>Charlotte: <em>Yes, I would have cared very much - as I do now. I’m sorry I was such an immature idiot. I was so devastated </em><em>to learn what really happened from Mary and Diana. I know it’s unlikely that you’ll forgive me, but I’m so sorry.  </em></p><p>Sidney: <em>I wish I could believe that.</em></p><p>Charlotte:<em> I know you must think badly of me.</em></p><p>Sidney<em>: Youre assumnig i think og you at all</em></p><p> </p><p>Sidney nearly dropped his phone as it buzzed again.</p><p>“Mary…”</p><p>“Are you alright? I hope you’re not mad at me or Diana, but we talked to her awhile. We told her what happened.”</p><p>He rubbed his hand over his face and sighed. The texts were making his head spin even more and he felt like collapsing. He took a long, slow inhale and exhale to calm his stomach, before answering. </p><p>“No, I’m not mad,” he said in a low voice. He swallowed and closed his eyes. “Tell me, Mary, what was she like?”</p><p>Mary paused, unsure if he wanted to know that she looked fit and glowing after yoga, or that her big, doe eyes revealed her eager curiosity in hearing about him. “To be honest, she was pretty upset.”</p><p>“At me?”</p><p>“No, at herself. We spoke for some time, and I’m afraid she was pretty distraught. She left her contact information. Would you like it?”</p><p>He paused to process what Mary was telling him. Charlotte was upset about what they told her. So she <em>did</em> think of him.</p><p>“I have her number. She texted me an apology last night.”</p><p>“She did?? How did you respond?”</p><p>He sighed. “Well, let me just explain I was pretty drunk.”</p><p>“Oh no…”</p><p>“And I may have said I didn’t believe her.”</p><p>Mary gasped.</p><p>“Oh Sidney, you must call her! You can’t believe she isn’t sincere. I saw her reaction to the news with my own eyes. She was crying, Sid.”</p><p>Again, he felt queasy. The image of her crying hit him viscerally. It was what he imagined she was like at the regatta and after. And it was probably her reaction to his last text.</p><p>“She was crying?”</p><p>“Of course she was! I’ve no doubt she would have been inconsolable if she wasn’t in public. She practically ran off in response.” Mary paused to gauge his reaction. “Sidney, maybe you should see her - for some resolution. I think you both could use it. She obviously still has feelings for you.”</p><p>“That’s where you’re wrong, Mary,” his tone was harsh. “We were never together, so how could she have feelings for me?”</p><p>“She does, Sidney. Maybe you weren’t in a relationship officially, but there is something still there. In just one conversation with her, I know she…” Mary stopped herself before she said anything too presumptuous. “Look, for what it’s worth, I still feel terrible I didn’t stop Tom from his insane idea of inviting Eliza to the regatta that year. I can’t forgive myself for that.”</p><p>“Mary, we’ve been through that, and there’s absolutely no reason you should feel that way. So if you think meddling in this will help fix everything, forget it.”</p><p>“Sidney,” she pressed on with determination. “I think you should try to talk to Charlotte.”</p><p>He sighed. “I’ll take your thoughts into consideration.”</p><p>After hanging up with Mary, he covered his face with both hands and sat on the floor of the bathroom. He was in no shape to handle the simplest of activities, let alone this latest bombshell. He opened the photos folder on his phone and scrolled past hundreds of pictures before getting to the photos from three years ago. He saw the thumbnail of Charlotte's face smiling wide from the video call he made to her on the day she got the email from Columbia, his face embedded in a tiny box in the corner. His finger hovered over the thumbnail momentarily. He quickly closed the folder and hid the photo, once again.</p><p>Sidney: <em>Emergency</em></p><p>Babbers: <em>How are you even texting? I can barely dictate this from my bed.</em></p><p>Sidney: <em>Huge fuck up</em></p><p>Babbers: <em>Oh, don’t tell me you went with Frank to that bar he likes so much?</em></p><p>Frank: <em>Oh, excuse me, LORD Babington. No need to be condescending.</em></p><p>Sidney: <em>No, this is catastrophic. I drunk texted Charlotte.</em></p><p>Frank: <em>And? I thought she had you blocked.</em></p><p>Sidney: <em>And apparently she ran into Mary and Diana yesterday. They explained everything. She unblocked me. And texted me back. </em></p><p>Frank: <em>Oh shit</em></p><p>Babbers: <em>Oh shit</em></p><p>Sidney: <em>Yeah. I was pretty wasted. I don’t even remember going to bed. But apparently, I had a discussion with her over text, and I think I was a bit of a dick.</em></p><p>Babbers: <em>What did she say?</em></p><p>Sidney: <em>She apologized for how she treated me</em></p><p>Frank: <em>And you said?</em></p><p>Sidney: <em>I didn’t believe her. and then I said I didn't think of her.</em></p><p>Babbers: </p><p>Frank:  </p><p>Sidney: <em>WTF do I do?</em></p><p>Babbers: <em>Please just talk to her? You’re unblocked. You can say what you’ve been wanting to say for three years. </em></p><p>Frank: <em>And don’t contact us until you do. </em></p><p> </p><hr/><p><br/><br/>Charlotte lay awake for most of the night, having run out of tears an hour after that text exchange. If he was angry at her, why did he even reach out to tell her that he missed her? She burst into tears at his last text, cried at the hurt that she inflicted that was still very much present.</p><p>There had to be a way to make it right, even if they would never be friends again, she couldn’t bear the idea of forever being the reason why Sidney’s relationship with his family was ruined, why he never finished his graduate degree.</p><p>In the morning, Clara found Charlotte sitting by the open window of the living room, staring up at the sky. It was warm and sunny, a perfect spring day. </p><p>“You can’t mope today. It’s too nice.”</p><p>Charlotte turned to look at her roommate. “He texted me last night. He said he missed me and then when I tried to apologize, he said he didn’t believe me. Clara, he hates me.”</p><p>Fresh tears ran down her cheeks as she said out loud what she had concluded in the night.</p><p>“You know, you’re not normally this melodramatic," Clara replied. "He doesn’t hate, you. Obviously, if he hated you, he wouldn’t have texted that he misses you. Besides, when did he text you?”</p><p>"Around 2."</p><p>"So he was drunk texting."</p><p>"And don't you think that would mean he was probably pretty honest?"</p><p>"I think it means he was probably not in control of his thoughts."</p><p>“I have to make this right.”</p><p>“Is that what you want?” </p><p>“Yes, more than anything.”</p><p>“And are you willing to end things with James?”</p><p>Charlotte looked up confused, momentarily forgetting about James. “What does James have to do with this?”</p><p>Clara gave her an exasperated look.</p><p>"Because you don't love James, Charlie. You love Sidney.”</p><p>Charlotte scoffed. “I may not love James, but that doesn’t mean I love Sidney. How can I? I haven’t even seen him for so long.” </p><p>Clara blinked slowly, and patiently, at Charlotte. “Stop being stupid. Do you want me to help you or not?”</p><p>“Yes, but…”</p><p>“Then stop pretending that you don’t love Sidney.”</p><p>Charlotte wiped her eyes and sighed. “He was never my boyfriend. We only kissed once.”</p><p>“So?” Clara shrugged, as she sat on the couch next to Charlotte. “The heart wants what it wants. You’ve already wasted 3 years missing him, so I hope you’re not wasting any more time trying to decide if it’s worth putting yourself out there.”</p><p>“Well, I’m not sure what I want, except that I have to make sure he knows that I am sorry.”</p><p>“Then let’s start there. Ask to him to meet you. Once he sees you in person, he’ll be different.”</p><p>“How can you be so certain?”</p><p>Clara smiled wide. “Because I remember what he was like around you.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>"You're messing up the sequence! Jab, rear kick, hook, hook, upper cut, cross! Turn your foot when you kick, Sidney!" Sidney's coach Leon barked from the side of the ring.</p><p>Sweat was pouring down Sidney's face, and he was breathing so heavily he thought he might be asthmatic. He cursed himself for last night's binge, as each drink seemed to slow his movement down exponentially, on top of causing his head to throb. </p><p>"Keep your hands up, Sidney!" Leon was frustrated. He looked at Sidney's sparring partner and commanded, "Check him, Yuri. If he puts those hands down, let him have it."</p><p>They went through the sequence again, and this time, before he even got to the rear kick, Yuri punched him in the face and knocked him back.</p><p>"Stop, stop, stop." Leon came forward. "Ok, let's take a break." </p><p>Damn. Yuri didn't hit him hard, but it was more embarrassing than painful. </p><p>His trainer came up to him; he looked displeased. "You go on a bender last night?"</p><p>"Nothing worse than usual," Sidney panted, guzzling water.</p><p>"Something on your mind? You seem unusually distracted."</p><p>"I'm alright."</p><p>Leon looked him over. "Remember, this is a mental game too. If you don't resolve those things that are pulling your mind away,<em>you will get knocked out.</em>"</p><p>Duly noted.</p><p> </p><p>Monday morning's presentation did not go well. Georgiana and Sidney both went to the client's office to jointly present the material, and while Georgiana's pitch was smooth and well-received, Sidney stumbled on questions about the historical data that showed the progress of past projects. Georgiana waited until they were in the elevator before saying anything.</p><p>"Sidney, what happened in there? It was like you spaced out and completely forgot what we were doing." She noticed he was looking more tired than usual, but didn't think much of it.</p><p>"Sorry. Kinda had a rough weekend."</p><p>Georgiana gave him a concerned frown. "I don't know if you have something going on, but I'm happy to talk if you need it, Sidney."</p><p>"I'm fine."</p><p>"Are you, though?" </p><p>He didn't want to go into it with Georgiana. He already knew what she'd say. Plus, he conceded to the current popular opinion from Mary, Babbers and Crowe that he should talk to Charlotte. At least, he did in theory. He struggled with how. </p><p>"Hey, Sidney," Georgiana was looking at him with concern. "You never talk about what it is that bothers you, but I know it's still there. I know this isn't really you."</p><p>He tried smile back at her. "Thank you, G, and I'm trying to fix it."</p><p>She took his arm. "You've always fixed everything for other people. Be sure to fix yourself too. You can't be your best self if you're wandering."</p><p>"Wandering? Interesting choice of words." Sidney hadn't been home in three years.</p><p>He decided to take her advice, and took the rest of the day off - his first day off since Christmas - and went to his flat, first stopping at the market to buy groceries. He never shopped for food, but for some reason, he wanted to see something besides an ice pack in his freezer, and sports drinks in his refrigerator. Plus, Diana (and Leon) had been nagging him to eat better and drink less. Plus he really needed coffee for his expensive Italian coffee maker that had only been used three times since he bought it.</p><p>He went home, made himself lunch, took a hot bath, and then went up to his patio with a tall glass of ice water. He couldn't remember the last time he was up there. The sun was warm, but too bright. So he opened the patio umbrella that had been tied down and closed for months. And then he laid down on the lounge chair and napped for two hours. He woke up in early-afternoon, feeling much recovered but still feeling misplaced. The day was gorgeous, and he could see several other people in the neighbourhood on their patios, a number of them couples picnicking in the sun. </p><p>He checked his phone, and saw several messages waiting for him. Among them, was one from Charlotte.</p><p>
  <em>Sidney, is there any way I can see you?</em>
</p><p>Sidney was surprised she was reaching out. He thought for sure his drunk texting ended any further efforts from her to contact him. He looked out over the small view of London he had from his vantage point, the sun still high in the sky.</p><p>Sidney: <em>Cafe Rio at 7?</em></p><p>Charlotte<em>: Ok. I'll meet you there.</em></p><p> </p><hr/><p><br/>Charlotte was surprised Sidney agreed to meet her (Clara was not). She had changed her clothes three times before finally settling on black jeans and a grey wrap sweater. She opted to leave on the two thin gold necklaces she always wore - one with a cursive gold C, and the other with a small gold airplane charm. </p><p>She was nervous, and arrived 15 minutes early to ensure they had a table. She exchanged hugs with her old manager, and took a table inside facing the door. Fortunately, most patrons were seated outside in the warmth of the evening. </p><p>Sidney arrived shortly before 7, pausing across the street to collect his thoughts. When he walked in, she was all he saw, and she was already looking at him. He saw her lips part when their eyes connected. After the hundreds of times he imagined this moment, all the things he wanted to say and all the questions he wanted to ask, they were gone. All he could do was stand, and feel. </p><p>She rose from the table and approached him. He noticed her eyes were now shining, and he could see a quiver in her nose and lips. She stood before him and reached for his hands. And much like their moment on the plane, when neither said a word as they stood close before each other, there was a moment of joined consciousness.</p><p>"Sidney, I'm so sorry."</p><p>"Charlotte." He raised her hands, and brought them up to his lips.</p><p>"I've missed you so much." </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Further reading:<br/>Dom Pérignon Plénitude 2: https://www.forbes.com/sites/adammorganstern/2019/08/13/dom-prignon-plnitude-2-vintage-2002-discovering-the-three-perfect-windows-for-a-vintage-champagne/?sh=3abbbb4e3cb6</p><p>Golf cart fails:<br/>https://youtu.be/f7m3GiArog0</p><p>Aught music rewind (Hey! Must be the money!)<br/>Nelly's "Ride wit Me": https://youtu.be/RtSDWq6HsJE</p><p>Alibi Room is the name of a bar in LA, but in the story, it's based on The Green Bar, which apparently does serve absinthe.<br/>https://www.worldsbestbars.com/bar/london/green-bar-at-cafe-royal/<br/>https://www.instagram.com/greenbarlondon/</p><p>Absinthe:<br/>https://www.liquor.com/articles/biggest-absinthe-myths/</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Greetings!<br/>Hope you are all doing well. A couple of notes before the story:<br/>▶I used Google Earth to wander around Charlotte and Sidney's neighborhoods. I'm not sure if I got the details right, specifically the mention of BT Tower. Having looked up night images of the tower, it seems to mostly be set to blue/purple.<br/>▶Here's the inspiration for Charlotte's necklace: https://jetsetcandy.com/collections/all/products/gold-airplane-charm-small</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Charlotte held her breath, and closed her eyes for a half second as Sidney held her hands to his lips.</p>
<p>“I’ve missed you so much,” he said. There was so much she wanted to take in, but she focused on his dark brown eyes. Relieved, she didn’t see anger or hate. She saw the same magnetic draw that brought her to him when she first met him on the plane.</p>
<p>“I’ve missed you too, Sidney. I’ve missed you so much.”</p>
<p>She took a moment to look at him. He was much larger than he was three years ago. She could see his strength in his forearms, revealed by rolled up sleeves, so lean his veins were raised against his athletic form. But it wasn’t just that he was more muscular. His face had become more angular, harder and serious. He was certainly broader in his back and shoulders, but there was an edge to his movements. A deliberateness. Possibly a wariness.</p>
<p>Yet his hands felt warm on hers. And the look he gave her was tender.</p>
<p>“I was horrible to you. Atrocious.” Her voice was shaky. Tears overflowed and spilled down the sides of her cheeks. “It’s unforgivable.”</p>
<p>Her breathing became uneven, and her tears fell. Sidney said nothing, and pulled her into his arms, cradling her head against his chest and letting her sob.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry,” she repeated. “I’m so sorry.”</p>
<p>She sank deeper into him, and let the warmth of him calm her sobs.</p>
<p>“It’s alright, it’s alright,” he soothed, and rested his lips on the top of head, the soft brown curls cushioning his face. He inhaled the scent of her hair. The familiar faint fragrance of peach and something richer - coconut? almond? he couldn’t quite tell - brought back memories of cooking in his old kitchen. He too closed his eyes.</p>
<p>So many intense emotions all fighting for his attention. Hurt. Anger. Need. Intoxication. Arousal. Protection. Ultimately, the emotion that overpowered all others was relief. He was relieved to have found her again and relieved she was there, where he could hold her safe.</p>
<p>“Charlotte, look at me.”</p>
<p>She slowly pulled back, fearing what she would see in his eyes.</p>
<p>Sidney was looking at her with his eyebrows raised, his lips curled in a slight smile.</p>
<p>“Did you miss this? Did you miss <em>us</em>?”</p>
<p>She looked up at him, her eyes red and still tearing, her brow furrowed in worry.</p>
<p>“Sidney, you have no idea.”</p>
<p>“Then don’t be upset,” he answered, wiping away her tears. “Because we’re still here.”</p>
<p>Sidney looked around, and luckily, they were the only patrons inside, and the staff were politely giving them privacy. They took a seat at the small round table, and he pulled his chair close to hers, took a napkin and dabbed her wet cheeks.</p>
<p>“I didn’t think you would come,” Charlotte said.</p>
<p>“I knew you might think that.”</p>
<p>“Why <em>did</em> you come?”</p>
<p>He paused. There were so many nights spent trying to figure out why he felt this way about a woman with whom he had only shared one kiss, and many trying to forget her altogether.</p>
<p>“I was tired of missing you.”</p>
<p>This caused her to tear up again.</p>
<p>“I was an idiot. I was immature. I should have been better than that.”</p>
<p>He took a deep breath. “I was hurt, yes. But I know you didn’t know what happened.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think I can ever express how badly I feel.”</p>
<p>He tilted her head up so he could look at her.</p>
<p>“Charlotte, I’m sorry I didn’t meet you that day.”</p>
<p>She winced.</p>
<p>“That you even think you need to apologize for that…”</p>
<p>“You were hurt. All I could think of was how <em>I</em> did that to you, and how I hurt you to the point that you didn’t want to see me again.”</p>
<p>She felt so small in that moment. How petty and childish she was to have pushed this beautiful soul away. She let out an exhale.</p>
<p>“I saw the picture of you with Eliza. I thought you went back to her - or that you were embarrassed by me,” she confessed.</p>
<p>He scoffed.</p>
<p>“Embarrassed? By you? Why?”</p>
<p>She frowned, and she said in a small voice, “Because I’m seven years younger than you.”</p>
<p>He raised an eyebrow and the same side of his mouth curled up into a half smile.</p>
<p>“Well, that doesn’t matter much <em>now</em>, does it?”</p>
<p>She felt her stomach tighten and she couldn’t control her cheeks from flushing in response. Even after all this time, he roused the butterflies in her and she was self-conscious of her blush. Of course, he noticed, and he loved it. He too felt the warmth spread in his chest.</p>
<p>“I made the worst assumptions about you,” Charlotte said, looking into her folded hands in her lap.</p>
<p>In the past, he had been bitter about that, and that old version of Sidney would certainly be at odds with this version. But the old Sidney wasn’t here and he was glad of it.</p>
<p>“Yes, you did,” he said as he covered her hands with his. He gently smiled at her. “Detention for you, Miss Heywood.”</p>
<p>She laughed in spite of herself, feeling self-conscious about wiping away most of her makeup and struggling to breathe through the sniffles.</p>
<p>Sensing a break in the tense reunion, the waitress approached to offer them menus. Sidney looked up at her.</p>
<p>“Could we get our orders to go?” he asked the waitress, and then looked at Charlotte. “Do you mind? Can we do that again like we used to?”</p>
<p>She smiled, relieved that he would have a nostalgic desire to repeat one of their old activities.</p>
<p>“That sounds perfect.”</p>
<p>After a brief wait, they left the restaurant with their dinners, and walked slowly through the streets. At first, neither said much. But then Charlotte noticed they weren’t walking in a familiar direction, and she wasn’t sure where they were going.</p>
<p>“Do you still live at Bedford Place?” Charlotte asked.</p>
<p>“No, I moved out shortly before Tom got married. I didn’t really feel like it made sense for me to be there.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>He almost sneered. “Oh, I’m not sorry at all. It’s great having my own place, even if I’m not there much.”</p>
<p>“You’re not?” Charlotte felt something deflate somewhere inside her, as she wondered where he was spending his time.</p>
<p>“No, I work a lot.”</p>
<p>How disappointing, Charlotte thought, to have unending privacy, but never be around to enjoy it.</p>
<p>“Oh, I see. I’d love to have my own place, but I’m afraid I’d be lonely. Where do you live now?”</p>
<p>“Not far from here, actually. Is it ok if we take this back to my place? It’s just next to Tottenham Court Road station,” Sidney offered.</p>
<p>“Um, sure. I’m curious to see how you live on your own.”</p>
<p>“I still don’t really use the kitchen, I’m afraid,” he said, mildly embarrassed.</p>
<p>“Well, I still don’t cook much in my own flat, so I guess neither of us has changed in that regard.”</p>
<p>The sky was dark now, and Charlotte looked up at the silhouette of BT Tower, the circular top glowing bluish purple.</p>
<p>“I know you moved out of your old flat. You know, I tried calling on you there,” Sidney said, hesitantly.</p>
<p>Again, she felt like a complete idiot.</p>
<p>“That must have been after finals. We had to vacate the flat after the term was complete.” She stopped and looked at him apologetically. “Sidney, I owe you so many apologies…”</p>
<p>“No, you don’t,” he interrupted and stopped her in their tracks. “I hadn’t earned your trust. There was so much I didn’t tell you, because I wasn’t ready to.”</p>
<p>“But still, you didn’t deserve to be mistreated like that.”</p>
<p>“It doesn’t matter, Charlotte.” He smiled weakly. “Like I said: we’re still here.”</p>
<p>He resumed walking, and she quickly fell back into step.</p>
<p>“So where do you live now?” he asked.</p>
<p>“A few blocks from the old place.”</p>
<p>“It’s still just you and Clara?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>Good. She hadn’t mentioned having a boyfriend, but at least she didn’t live with one.</p>
<p>After a few more blocks, they arrived at his building in Soho.</p>
<p>Charlotte’s eyes widened in disbelief. “You live across from a Starbucks? No wonder you never spend time in your kitchen. I’d be down there all the time, with a double espresso in my hand.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I am. But I just decided yesterday to stage my own intervention. I have an espresso maker which I never use, and feel like I really need to master that.”</p>
<p>The elaborate front door opened to a sleek modern lobby. The uniformed doorman nodded at Sidney.</p>
<p>“Good evening, Mr. Parker.”</p>
<p>“Good evening, Mr. Jenkins.”</p>
<p>After spending most of her time at places popular with cost-conscious students, this building with its newly refurbished and luxurious decor in such a busy part of town was almost foreign.</p>
<p>When Charlotte and Sidney were alone in the lift, she turned to him.</p>
<p>“What do you do now, Sidney?” she asked, giving him a sidelong look.</p>
<p>He chuckled to himself.</p>
<p>“I make spreadsheets and presentation slides.”</p>
<p>She looked at him with suspicion. Obviously, to afford to live in a building like this there was a lot more to the story.</p>
<p>“And I develop business properties,” he explained.</p>
<p>The doors opened, and they walked down a short corridor to his apartment door. He unlocked the door and held it open for Charlotte to enter. She inhaled sharply.</p>
<p>“Sidney, this place is beautiful!”</p>
<p>And she was right. While sparsely decorated, it was clearly a new development with many high-end design details. Charlotte had never seen an apartment so stylish in design, independent of furnishings. On one side of his living room was a large bookcase, with many titles she recognized from her own studies. To the right was the kitchen, with Sidney’s shiny coffee maker the main feature on the counter, apart from a bowl of fruit. Just beyond the kitchen was a narrow stairway to the upper floor. And immediately facing the entrance was a floor-to-ceiling window that allowed a glimpse of the BT Tower in the distance.</p>
<p>Entranced, she walked straight for the window to take in the city lights.</p>
<p>“Oh that’s beautiful!” she breathed. Her face was so close to the glass, it fogged up as she exhaled.</p>
<p>“So you approve?” Sidney said, obviously pleased with her reaction. “You should come to the rooftop. I have small patio that has a much better vantage of the tower.”</p>
<p>She turned and gasped. “A rooftop patio?!”</p>
<p>“Let’s reheat the food and we can eat up there.”</p>
<p>After quickly heating their dinners, Sidney brought out silverware and plates, but then hesitated at the wine glasses.</p>
<p>“I guess I don’t have to worry about serving alcohol to a minor any more,” he teased. “Would you like wine? There should be a bottle of white in the refrigerator, if you like.”</p>
<p>Charlotte blushed, but said nothing, and opened the refrigerator door to find the wine.</p>
<p>“You know, I expected this to be empty or perhaps only used to chill tumblers and beer steins. But it looks like you have plenty of real food in here,” she called out as she pulled the wine from the bottom shelf.</p>
<p>He smiled to himself, grateful he had just filled it earlier that day. She didn’t need to know that she had made a correct assumption.</p>
<p>He looked away as she stood up, before she could catch him checking her out from behind. She had become more muscular as well, her arms and shoulders leaner and defined enough to be noticeable through her jumper. No doubt a result of hours of yoga. Her posture and movement was much more graceful and fluid than before. Her hair was longer, and in the light, he noticed she had honey blond highlights now, but the soft waves were still very recognizably Charlotte.</p>
<p>She turned around, just catching his gaze sweep up and then look off toward the stairwell.</p>
<p>She followed him up to the second level, and out a door through one of the bedrooms. The night air was cool but not cold, and they sat at a small patio set next to the umbrella and lounge chair that still held a blanket from his afternoon nap. She looked around to take in the view, and although there was noise from the street, it was a low ambient rumble at this time of night, and not noticeable compared to the stunning lights of the surrounding area. And there in the middle of the lights was the blue circular top of BT Tower.</p>
<p>“Oh, you must spend a lot of time out here looking at this view,” she said dreamily.</p>
<p>He laughed. “Actually I was up here earlier today for the first time in months.”</p>
<p>She gave him a perplexed look. She would kill for a patio like this.</p>
<p>“Well, I guess the weather hasn’t been very conducive to outdoor lounging,” she answered.</p>
<p>“You’re being generous. I’ve rarely had the time, and when I do, I haven’t found much inclination, even though it was one of the reasons why I bought this place.”</p>
<p>“You bought this apartment?” she asked stunned. Apart from her parents, relatives and friends of her parents and relatives, she didn’t know anyone who owned property.</p>
<p>“A couple of years ago, when I first started working for the Lambes, they had a client who wanted to offload this place quickly, so I got a steal. It was in the middle of being remodeled, and the amount he had spent was exceeding any profit he could possibly have earned. It was also right when I closed my first major deal, so it was a celebratory gift to myself.”</p>
<p>Charlotte took a bite of her food, and thought about Sidney as a real estate mogul, negotiating and closing deals. It was a part of Sidney she didn’t know, and she found it weird.</p>
<p>He laid out the dishes and silverware, and plated their food. He then took the bottle from her and poured them two glasses. He held his glass out to toast.</p>
<p>"To Mary and Diana," he said.</p>
<p>She smiled at his reference. "To Mary and Diana."</p>
<p>“You know, I was disappointed when you quit Cafe Rio. I really liked their burgers.”</p>
<p>She laughed. So he had gone to Cafe Rio to look for her.</p>
<p>“I work at a different cafe now. Italian, instead of Brazilian, but same type of place. They have a really good brunch, and I know you like waffles.”</p>
<p>She remembered.</p>
<p>“I don’t want to pry, and you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to,” Charlotte asked warily, “but Mary and Diana said you dropped out of LSE. I was so shocked to hear that.”</p>
<p>Sidney looked off and thought back to that time. The disastrous day at the regatta begat a disastrous few months, when the bad things kept coming and didn’t stop. But his departure from LSE, well, that was actually an event in its own right.</p>
<p>“I didn’t get on with my advisor, and when I asked to complete my program early, I was denied. They wouldn’t let me defend my thesis, and I lost interest quickly thereafter.”</p>
<p>“Oh, Sidney! That’s awful.”</p>
<p>“Yes, I was especially disappointed that all my work wasn’t going to see the light of day, but you know, it’s not like it was going to be published or anything.” He made a self-deprecating sound, but Charlotte knew that had to be a major disappointment to him.</p>
<p>“And you went to work for the Lambe Corporation after that?”</p>
<p>He nodded.</p>
<p>Charlotte was quiet. There was so much to ask, but she didn’t know where to start that wouldn’t seem rude or, worse, trigger anger.</p>
<p>“You have something to say, I’m sensing,” Sidney said. “Come. Share it.”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to pry, Sidney, but why didn’t you go to work for your family like you had planned?”</p>
<p>He thought for a moment, and looked into his wine glass before finishing the rest of its contents.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to answer that,” Charlotte quickly added.</p>
<p>“It wasn’t a big family row or anything. But I decided I was never going to be who I wanted to be if I was always catering to my father and Tom. I explained that to them, and they understood. I have no hard feelings toward them, but I’m not sure if they can say the same.”</p>
<p>“Oh, Sidney.” Charlotte couldn’t fathom breaking with her family. Of course she had arguments with her siblings, and there would be months when she didn’t speak to her brothers. But that was more due to their independent lives, as opposed to a fundamental disagreement. “I’m so sorry to hear that,” Charlotte said with concern.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry too, but to be honest, I don’t regret any of it. I feel like everything changed for the better after that. I got to the point where I didn’t want to spend another day thinking about my dissertation. And I’ve learned so much working for the Lambes. I really can’t imagine sticking around Tom and father, kissing the asses of clients like Malcolm Campion.”</p>
<p>Charlotte gave him a blank look.</p>
<p>“Mary and Diana mentioned him and his son and what they did at the regatta, but should I know who they are?”</p>
<p>He gave her a look of satisfaction. “I can’t tell you how pleased I am that you don’t know them.”</p>
<p>“I can’t believe they would set you up like that Sidney.”</p>
<p>His expression changed, and he had a thoughtful look, as if he were scrutinizing her words in his mind.</p>
<p>“Set me up?”</p>
<p>“Well, didn’t they? The story I heard from Mary and Diana was that your father had to agree to give them the right of first refusal on future developments. Sounds like they knew exactly what they wanted, trapped you into their plan, and held you hostage to get it.”</p>
<p>After a long pause, Sidney responded. “Charlotte, you’re the only other person to see it that way. I always thought so myself, but everyone else seemed to think it was an acceptable compromise to keep me from being arrested.”</p>
<p>“Oh no, it seems obvious to me. Those two sound evil.”</p>
<p>He looked at her face, and then looked away. “I’ve missed talking to you, Charlotte.”</p>
<p>Her eyes saddened.</p>
<p>“I’ve missed too much, Sidney. I know you had a difficult time after I saw you last, and I wasn’t there to support you. I'm so angry at myself.”</p>
<p>He looked down and put on a strong face.</p>
<p>“It would have been nice to have you around during that time.” He hesitated and poured another glass. “But I’m glad I found you again.”</p>
<p>She held her breath. She thought about the time that had passed since she saw him. Of course, there were classes, jobs, dates, trips, fights and reconciliations with James. All of them were important in the moment in which each occurred, but none had lasting significance. And no single event revived her as this moment now. She was awake again and didn’t want to miss anything.</p>
<p>“I opened the gift you gave me. Thank you for that. Your note was beautiful.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” he looked confused for a moment. “Well, I hope you were at least able to enjoy that with someone, even if I wasn’t able to share it with you.”</p>
<p>The exact words he wrote in the note escaped him, but he remembered the feeling he had when he wrote it. It was the excitement of having discovered a path, new but familiar at the same time.</p>
<p>“No, I mean, I <em>just</em> opened it. After I ran into Diana and Mary.”</p>
<p>He looked at her, incredulously. “You’ve had it this whole time and never opened it? Why?”</p>
<p>She took a sip before answering.</p>
<p>“Well as you know, I was rejected from that program, so I left it hidden under my bed…”</p>
<p>“I remember that.”</p>
<p>“…I didn’t want to open it and be reminded that I was rejected yet again…” she stopped and felt the stinging pressure in her chest. If she had opened it after the regatta, his words would have been seen as a farce, probably even as an outright lie. After seeing him in that photo with the beautiful woman she knew was his girlfriend, she couldn’t bear the idea that he played her like a fool.</p>
<p>After a moment to swallow the pain and force it back down, she continued, haltingly. “I thought I was going to forget you. But turns out I never could. And I didn’t want to get rid of it because… I hoped I might have that feeling again.”</p>
<p>He looked down.</p>
<p>“What feeling?” He knew - because he felt it too.</p>
<p>“The feeling I only have when I’m with you.”</p>
<p>She looked up at him, her large brown eyes as expressive as he remembered. His pulse raced. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to devour her. And he never wanted to her to leave. But that wasn’t how things worked. </p>
<p>The silence weighed heavily, the sounds of cars passing by on the streets thankfully filled the gap in conversation and disguised the tension and hesitation.</p>
<p>Sidney cleared his throat.</p>
<p>“Maybe we should go back inside. It’s getting cold out here.”</p>
<p>He stood, downed his glass, cleared the table, and walked inside, leaving Charlotte to bring the wine. Her heart sank at his avoidance of what she said, and she was grateful for the distraction of being busy to keep her from feeling rejected.</p>
<p>They went back inside, and down the stairs to the kitchen. Together, they cleaned up in silence. As Sidney wiped down the counters, Charlotte walked to the window and again looked out at the city lights.</p>
<p>“Thank you for seeing me, Sidney,” she said, in low voice. “I’m sorry it’s taken this long. I wish I could undo what I did.”</p>
<p>She heard him exhale, and he walked up behind her.</p>
<p>“I know. But that’s ancient history now.”</p>
<p>“Would that we could rewrite our history, if we find it regrettable.”</p>
<p>He wished that as well. He placed his hand on her shoulder and gently turned her to face him.</p>
<p>“Maybe we can,” he said, and pulled her in for an embrace. He felt her noticeably relax into him. She turned her head and looked down to hide that she was crying. But he knew. He could feel the tears gradually washing away three years of damage. He held her like that until he heard her breathing normalize, and then leaned back to look down at her face. He smoothed her hair behind her ears.</p>
<p>“Do you still like espresso?”</p>
<p>She tried to smile as she wiped her tears. “Oh yes. Some things don’t change.”</p>
<p>He smiled back at her, and then led her back to the kitchen.</p>
<p>“You’ll have to bear with me. I’ve only used my espresso machine three times.”</p>
<p>“Oh, this is an espresso machine?” she asked, staring at the massive silver appliance with wooden knobs and multiple gauges. “Does it also travel through time?”</p>
<p>He laughed. “For how much it cost, you would think so.”</p>
<p>Two failed espressos later, they were seated on his sofa and sipping their doubles with a perfect tan crema on top.</p>
<p>“So tell me about the rest of your time at uni,” Sidney asked.</p>
<p>She shrugged. “I’m not sure there’s much to tell. I’ll be graduating in a couple of weeks, so I guess I did well enough.”</p>
<p>“'Well enough?’” he said with disbelief. “My guess is that you’re graduating with distinction?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” She blushed slightly, but she was in fact quite proud of that.</p>
<p>“And what will you be doing after graduation?”</p>
<p>She frowned and sighed.</p>
<p>“I don’t know yet. I guess I will still be working at the restaurant at least, but I’ve applied to a few positions. Haven’t heard anything yet. Public policy and philosophy isn’t a terribly marketable background.”</p>
<p>“You’re not going into public service then?”</p>
<p>“I’m not sure that appeals to me any more, to be honest.”</p>
<p>Sidney nodded. He had known people who were happy in the roles in the public sector but they were passionate. It did not seem to be a good environment for people who were ambivalent.</p>
<p>“I applied to a few institutes, but got rejected from almost all. I don’t think a lot of people have confidence in a 20-year old.”</p>
<p>For a moment, he forgot she was so young. He was certain there weren’t any associates at his firm that were her age. Georgiana was the youngest, and she was now 23. Being married and expecting her first child matured her significantly. As did being one of the family board members.</p>
<p>“You won’t be 20 for long, right?” June 20th. He remembered.</p>
<p>“Yes, but I’m not sure people have that much more confidence in a 21-year old.”</p>
<p>“Well, luckily, that goes away over time.”</p>
<p>She resisted the urge to say something snarky. This was the same response she heard from her older brothers, her parents, her advisors. She knew it was true, but that didn’t help her find a job <em>now</em>. She sipped her espresso and kept her thoughts to herself.</p>
<p>“You want to tell me to piss off, don’t you?” Sidney said with a smug look.</p>
<p>She raised her eyebrows at him.</p>
<p>“Not at all.” She could tell he was not convinced.</p>
<p>“I know you do, it’s ok. I wish I had something better to tell you,” he grinned. “Transitioning out of a school environment is tough. In the meantime, I hope you can at least enjoy your last days of university. It’s not so easy to make friends once you leave.”</p>
<p>“No? Don’t you have friends that you hang out with all the time?”</p>
<p>“Oh sure, I have my two best mates, but I met them at uni. And most my other friends I met either through them or through work.” He stopped and looked pointedly at her. “Once I met someone pretty cool on a plane.”</p>
<p>She laughed and smiled widely. “So did I!”</p>
<p>He smirked and his dark eyes seemed to bore into her. She felt her heart flutter in response. The void beckoned. His expression was serious, and he stared at her unblinking for what felt like another three years. He looked down and swallowed. And then it seemed the void was gone.</p>
<p>“I forgot it’s a weeknight. I assume you have classes tomorrow?”</p>
<p>She blinked and remembered where she was. “I do, but not until the afternoon.”</p>
<p>“What a luxury.” He wished his days were as flexible. “Unfortunately, my days are pretty early, and also long, since I have calls with people in the States.”</p>
<p>She looked disappointed, as she understood this was her cue to leave.</p>
<p>“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realize…”</p>
<p>“No,” he reached out and put his hand over hers and smiled. “Don’t apologize. I am so grateful you wanted to see me. Can I ask you something?”</p>
<p>She looked up at him, her breath momentarily still.</p>
<p>“Yes?”</p>
<p>“Can we not let three years go by before we see each other again?”</p>
<p>She swallowed and felt her chest start to crumble. Hello again, friend zone. No need for a tour.</p>
<p>“Sidney…” she hesitated. She had asked him to see her. She wanted to make things right. And this entire evening, she felt she was getting back on a path to a place she wanted to be. Not the friend zone. To hell with the friend zone. “I’ve missed you so much. I hope you haven’t gotten too used to <em>not</em> seeing me. Because I don’t plan on going away.”</p>
<p>He looked at her hand in his, and then looked up at her, his dark piercing eyes igniting something within her already on the edge of combustion.</p>
<p>“I’m glad to hear that, Charlotte. Because I don’t plan on letting you get away.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sidney's apartment: https://www.majesticpenthouses.com/uploads/files/60CSzP_1426699020.pdf</p>
<p>Espresso machine:<br/>https://cliffandpebble.com/products/izzo-vivi-pid-espresso-machine?variant=32202185343047</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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